Newbie!

Hey everyone. I'm new to all of this but wanted to introduce myself. My name is Jami and I'm from Salina. I went to the meeting in JC last night and saw some of you that I have been reading about on this website. Talk about inspirational!!! My husband was with me and got a lot of his questions answered. We talked all the way home and he is very supportive of me getting this surgery. My insurance requires a "failed" medially supervised diet before they will approve the surgery. So, I have to wait about 4-5 months. I can deal with that, I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel!!!! Now I just have to deal with the rest of my family. Any suggestions?

Welcome Jami! Yes, that first support group meeting is pretty exciting isn't it? Especially when you get to see in person the people you've been reading about! Sorry you'll have to wait to fail in order to succeed! When you say you have to deal with the rest of the family, do you mean your extended family and telling them about your decision to have WLS? For me, I knew I would have the support of my close family members but quite frankly I didn't tell my in-laws, except my favorite SIL, the rest I didn't tell until either after surgery or even months later. Some I still haven't told, however I know my other in-laws have told them. Once you make the decision to have surgery, the best you can do is surround yourself with positive people, even if they are your relatives don't let those people bring you down. If you think there would be some negativity from relatives about your decision, and you still want to tell them, I would suggest not telling them of your decision until you have a surgery date. Otherwise you'll have months of listening to all their negative, snide comments for months in advance. The journey is hard enough without people in our lives beating us down about our decisions. I was one of the people who told very few people about my surgery early on and still stand by that decision especially in my small town of less than 2000 people. When people ask me NOW about how I lost my weight I tell them I had surgery. Early on my answer was that I decided I needed to make a positive change in my life physically and emotionally. I never told them what the change was, just that I recognized that I had to make a change. Now, I just assume people know I had surgery even if I haven't told them and go on from there. Again, since I live in a small town no one else had ever had WLS so it was a HUGE deal and I was not about to be the one spending my entire time talking about my decision to have WLS etc and listening to so many closed minded people. Interestingly enough after I had my surgery, another gal from work had it about 7 months after me (and proudly told EVERYONE about her decision), plus there have been 2-3 other people in town who have had it too. What's funny is that I had briefly touched on the subject of WLS with a very few select people about a year before surgery and can tell you that the people that were negative about it then were NOT told about my decision and still haven't been told by me directly. It happens that way sometimes. Anyway, my point is to stay positive whi*****ludes surrounding yourself with positive people. Congrats on your decision and good luck during your wait! Big hugs, Sharon

Sharon - Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I grew up in a town of about 1200 people in northwest Kansas and know what you mean about people talking. There was a woman who had a lap band put on about 10 years ago and did not have success at all. So, I know that people will judge me by her lack of success. But, boy are they going to be suprised when they see my success!!!!! I am most worried about my mom's reaction. She is a nurse and I know a few years ago she did not approve of banding surgeries. Maybe with the advances she will be more open. I am going to invite her to the next meeting in December, so keep your fingers crossed. Again, thank you for your advice. Jami

Hey Jami, WELCOME!!! I was there too...where were you sitting????? Were you in the back corner???? ANYWAY...I'm glad your here!! Insurance is just rediculous sometimes Let us know if we can be of any help...don't hesitate to ask questions...it might take us a little bit but we will answer you!!! BIG HUGS Deanna

Deanna - I think I was sitting behind you and Dawn in the corner by the side door. I was the "heavy" one with the black hair. HA HA Anyway, the meeting was great and I was very emotional on the drive home. What a feeling to think I could have my life back!! Jami

AHHH...I wondered if that wasn't you!!!! Just do your best on this "LAST ATTEMPT"...surgery will always be there...maybe you'll be one of those lucky ones and won't have to have it...BUT it is GREAT to know that there is hope and a chance to get your life back if you can't succeed "their" way. Keep us posted...and let us support you through this too, okay...it's not like WE ALL haven't been there!!! BIG HUGS Deanna

Welcome Jami!! I fought my battles with insurance this past year also. Not fun, but worth it! I've been working on this since July and I finally have a surgery date for December. Any questions I may be able to help with, please ask! I stay motivated by reading 2-3 different profiles every day - keeps me inspired! Good luck, cherie

Cherie - Thanks for the encouragement. When is your surgery? Jami

Hi Jamie! I am so happy you attended the meeting last night and had the opportunity for you and your husband to meet everyone and hopefully get your questions answered! I know that when I went to my first JC meeting (a long drive from Dodge City!) that it totally inspired me and helped my husband understand that it does work and that it isn't some crazy thing that some crazy doctor does! It helps so much to have the support of your husband and family before taking this huge step! Your life will be so different post-op that it really is an adjustment for everyone in your life! I also want to wish you GOOD LUCK on your next medically supervised diet. I honestly believe that everyone should try everything they can before resorting to the surgery. I can understand why insurance requires some of the things they do. I understand that it is very frustrating when it is you going through it but have faith and do the best that you can. The surgery will still be here waiting on you when that one more diet doesn't work! And, it never hurts to lose some of your extra weight before the surgery! It sure makes the recovery a lot easier. I am also curious as to where you were sitting. I was sitting with Deanna on the left side of the room -- kind of by the side door to the room. I try not to talk to much in the support group meetings because I have come to understand that every person's experience with WLS is different and I am afraid of sounding "preachy" when talking about my experience but I did speak up a bit at this meeting. As far as telling the rest of your family. I just did it. I didn't worry about what they thought. The truth is that I was having this surgery for me and my health. It didn't matter to me if they didn't like it or understand it. It isn't thier decision to make! However, my family turned out to be very supportive and understanding. They all know that i've tried everything possible to lose weight before coming to this decision. I found that if you just lay down the facts and you are comfortable with the decision and they know you've done your research they will probably end up supporting you! Best of luck with whatever decision you make -- Sharon's advice is good too. I guess it is different for everyone! I hope to get to know you better over the next four-five months while your waiting for surgery! Dawn

Dawn - I think I was sitting right behind you and Deanna. To tell you the truth I didn't recognize either of you, I can't believe the difference!!! I made a pact with my husband to give my all to this diet over the next few months. I agree that every avenue should be exhausted before taking this drastic step. Even if it is a good one. Thanks for your advice. I hope to get to know all of you better over the next few months. Thanks for the support!! Jami