just had a couple of disturbing phone calls....

Got a call from St. Francis.  MIL is going downhill fast.  She is in congestive heart failure and is having trouble breathing.  She is going into renal failure as well.   She is being moved to ICU, and is extremely combative.  They asked about her advance directives.  She is a DNR.  The nursing staff is not sure she's going to survive this.  We suspected as much.  Hubby is on the way to the hospital.  I hadn't dressed yet, so didn't want to hold him back to wait on me.  DH is doing ok - his mom was a raging alcoholic for years, very verbally abusive, and now is severe non compliant diabetic with heart problems.

So - today is my dad's birhday.  I call Dad - they're in Kokomo.  My mom has to remind him who I am, where I live, and my relationship to him, and that I am calling because it is his birthday.  He did not realize it was his birthday.  Very brief conversation with him because he doesn't know who I am or why I'm calling - he forgot again already.  Mom said she has to get off the phone right away as I can hear him yelling at her in the background.

I have a feeling this is going to be the weekend from hell in more ways than one.  The fireworks that are going to be going off are not going to be your run of the mill pyrotechnics as I imagine my 3 SIL's will decide to come to town early.  I still want to kick their collective asses for dumping all of this on their baby brother's shoulders.

Sorry - needed to vent.

I am really sorry about your MIL and your father.  Its so hard to watch our parents age and become ill.  God Bless you and your family.

Jeannie

Loosing contact with a parent or even a parent in law is rough.. Ive lost both..(all 4 + a step). I wasnt close to a couple of them but the family dynamic changed when we lost them...Mom H went into a nursing home and forgot who we were and my dad was the one who lived under a bridge for 25 years until we put him into a nursing home..

I Feel for you... My prayers for you and  your family are on their way...Been there done that and wouldnt want to do it again. May God give you strength and compassion during this time of need.

Linda Kay

thanks to you both for your prayers and concerns.

I'm sorry you and your husband are dealing with all of this. I will pray for peace for your mother in law and your entire family.

Chris, I feel for ya.  I know how hard that is with the calls to dad.  Mine is kinda like that too.  It's heartbreaking.  As for the MIL... I know its hard but it sounds like her quality of life is gone.  I hope Wally does ok with it.  It really is a hard thing to go thru.  As for the SIL's .... kick away girl.  if you need back up... I have some agression to work off!  LMAO

Love ya and hope you make it thru the weekend without too much more stress,..

Tracy

I'm sorry to hear about your family.  I KNOW how awful it can be to deal with everyone being sick and nearing the end of their life.  However, it might be a blessing in disguise that your MIL is not going to suffer much longer. 

I myself go into business mode when something like this happens.  I took care of my mother for 4 years and now take care of my grandmother (lives with us) and my dad (dialysis).  Then when it is all over I FREAK out. I hope your husband finds serenity with his history with his mother and the situation with his sisters.

 You know , everyone always asks me if I didn't wish that I had siblings or cousins to help out over the last 10 years I have been caring for my parents/grandparents.  And the truth is that even if there is more than one child it always seems to fall on ONE.  I've only seen a few families really shoulder the responsibility equally.  I'm sorry it's your husband that has this burden.

Well Christie I am sorry you are having such a time of it. I know how hard it is to deal with mom's in laws and also people with alzhiemers. It is very hard to think that a parent can't remember the child they gave birth to. This is a very hard to see the one who you used to depend on have to depend on you. I wish you didn't have to go through it but most of us will have to become the parent in our life time. God will help you if you just pray for guidance on this matter and with your husbands mother.
 I also am sorry that your husband has to have the burden of caring for his mother with all those sisters you think they could take turns taking care of their mothers. That is sad to think that only one has the responsibility of this parent. Of course someone has to do it and it always seems to fall on one childs shoulders. It usually falls on the female shoulders so it is nice to see that sometimes falls on the male siblings shoulders. Your husband will look back and think that he did the correct thing and that his sisters missed out on helping their mother. He maybe the baby but he is a grown man and will be the better person for it. I know that you will not like it that I posted much less said this.Michelle

Michelle, I do not mind that you posted this.  Thank you for your kind words.