Musings

Today I'm writing in pink, for Maggie , instead of blue, like I have been, because I've been feeling blue.

I have been severely contemplating getting a Maggie tattoo with a Tinkerbell. I really want to. On the other hand, I donated blood on April 21, in honor of Maggie's donation 2 months earlier, and was planning to do so again in June to mark the 4 months anniversary. You can't donate blood for a year after tattoos or piercings. I face a dilemma. Any input from my friends?

I was commenting in my counseling session Monday, that I feel bad in a way, for not feeling so bad. After Lucy died, I was pretty much non-functional for about 10 months. I would do only want absolutely had to be done. Otherwise I would cuddle up on the couch and be depressed. Even showering was a chore. Here I am after Maggie, functioning, working, living. It somehow didn't seem right. We talked about it. I am older and wiser now. I have the responsibility of being the breadwinner for my family. I know from experience, as hard as it is to believe sometimes, that grief does ease. I feel I am honoring Maggie by living, caring for myself and her daddy and brother.

I am working harder on taking care of myself. I talked to the NUT at St. V yesterday, and she sent me out some food guidelines to get back on track. I have been going this week to the Y to exercise. This morning it was lap swimming. I am talking to God and even went to church (1st time since the funeral) last Sunday.

It's hard to believe that four months ago my life was so different. You never know what the next day may hold for you. I am going to choose to look at these experiences how I did the flood last year. I told myself then, this has some purpose, there is something for me to learn from this. I need to look for it. I know one thing that I already know from this spring. If I ever had doubts as to how many people care about me and my family, I cannot have doubts now.

Love,

I think donating blood is wonderful, just be careful in doing so.  I was not thinking and starting going to our local hospital and donated as often as I could, before I knew it my iron levels were really low, and now I have to take iron tablets with Vitamin C.

I would say donate in June and then get a tattoo, giving your body time to reblemish your iron levels.  I love tattoo's I have 5 and I want more.  I have a large cross on my left leg and it says "Gone but not forgotten" through the banners it says Mom and Daddy.  I have a panda bear on my left shoulder with each of my grandkids name going around it.  I have a yellow rose in the lower part of my back, I also have a black panther w/yellow rose on my right shoulder, and on my right leg which was my first one ( a divorce present to myself) it is an eagle and through the banner it say Freebird. LOL.

I think a tinker bell in honor of Maggie would be wonderful.  My next one I think will be in honor of my sister, but I have to wait until Jeff comes back to Indiana from New York. 

Keep us posted on what you do.

Hugs

Peggy

I agree to be careful because of your iron levels. I think that giving the blood is very important to you and you can choose to wait a bit for the tatoo but, what a beautiful thing to think of. You could actually do something that incorporates all three of your children. My son has a tatoo on his inner arm just above his wrist that has his sons footprint from the hospital when he was born and he has his name, Jacob right above it. We have a grand daughter due in Sept and he is going to do the same thing with her foot print. He said he hopes to have the foot prints look like they are walking up his arm. I asked him, "My gosh, how many footprints (children) do you expect to have?" LOL. He just laughed at me.
Life is a gift Linda. No matter how long or short, it is a gift from God and you said it best when you said this:  I feel I am honoring Maggie by living, caring for myself and her daddy and brother.
Maggie is with you in your heart. I believe that her and Lucy are keeping watch over you and they help to ease your pain. Do not feel guilty for you are a wonderul mother and a wonderful human being. I know I don't know you personally but from those I have spoken with, from being at the funeral home that night and from reading your posts, I can see how It is easy to love you and yes you are blessed to have so many do so. I wish we could all feel that way in life.