Support Person?

My surgeon requires that I have a support person to go through this process with me.  My husband is obviously supportive, but my therapist is recommending that he not be my official support person due to his own issues with his weight.

How would I go about finding a support person for this process? 

Stacy Walker

Stacy, did your therapist give you any ideas as to if you should choose someone who is going through the process the same as you, someone who has "been there and done that" or even someone who hasn't/isn't going to have surgery? I'm sure you could find someone on the boards here or maybe ask a friend who is supportive of your choice.

She just feels like I need to depend on someone besides hubby as support, so to take some of the pressure off of him.

I don't have any friends that I think would be good support, and haven't found anyone in Lafayette who has been through or who is going through the surgery.  I am at a loss....

Stacy Walker

Stacy...

Where are you in relationship to Indy??? People on here have a tendency to get together very often besides our clothing exchange every 3 months. There are several around Mooresville where I live and we have even gotten together for Goodwill shopping..

Linda Kay

I am in Lafayette, but have yet to find anyone in my area......

Stacy Walker

I didnt have A support person.. I went to support group sponsered thru the hospital and I had THIS group of fantastic people who helped me every step of the way.. WE will help you, answer questions, some of us will pray for you and depending which hospital, which day you may even get a visit or two..

I agree a support group is needed but besides my husband I really didnt need A person...

Hopem  this calms your fears...

Linda Kay

WOW.  I find it hard to believe that a therapist would leave you in a situation like this.  I agree with Linda support comes from those you are around the most.  You are not using a St. Vincents surgeon but I would ask if they have groups that meet regularly that can help.  The st. V's program has meetings all over the state and are very valuable.
My wife was my support and was obese.  She was great through the whole time/  She waited 2 years before she had the surgery and can testify that knowing what to say is different then living it.  She went to 2.5 years of support group with me and knew all the answers.  Heard it all seen it all but did not feel it all until she had the surgery.
She is the first to say it is YOUR JOURNEY IT IS DIFFERENT for all. 
This board can work A LITTLE.  You can not understand what it is like to lose 100 lbs in 6 months until it happens.  I am watching Becky and it has been good to see her go through her WOW moments.  We were setting in church Sunday and all of a sudden she realized that her hands when folded were resting on HER LAP not her belly.
Joy unspeakable.
It is this and other WOW moments that gets you through.  Rejoice in them and cry when the hard times come as they will.  The weeks that you lose no weight and you think YOU ARE THE PROBLEM and then realize you are not it is your body holding ON to the weight to SHOW YOU are a failure.
Fight through it.  Support can help but IT IS YOU that has the control

IN His Service
Emil

Stacy,  my husband is my biggest fan and is a great deal of strength for me but, I have a monthly support group meeting and this OH site has given me daily support. 24 hr round the clock support to go to with questions and information and I have met friends on here. There are activities and your husband can be involved as well. It is a matter of building the friendships that you make on here. That doesn't have to exclude your husband. When you have friends and share your lifes experiences with those that completely understand what you are going through then you have support. This place gives me that. I share my stories with my whole family and in turn it inspires them, I inspire them. Perhaps and I'm sure you are being a sort of inspiration to your husband. Come here and cry, scream, ***** complain and laugh and celebrate. That is what support means and you can move at your own pace here. Get to know people and like I said, just share your life. You can add me as a buddy and count on me anytime to give you support. 
Good luck to you.

Johnna-

Is your husband Obese?  Does he have food issues?

My husband weighs almost 400lbs, and has compulsive eating issues, so it is hard for him to help me.

I guess that part of it, is that my expectation of what I want from him may be too high....I am almost to the point of giving up on this whole thing....

Stacy Walker

Don't give up!! Lafayette isnt that far!! We could meet in Lebanon from time to time and Ellen lives in Thorntown she would enjoy having someone closer I am sure.. and Believe me I have had some of her support and she is one of the greatest.. so just know we arent that far if you need  us. By not listing until now where you were it was hard to let you know who is close to support you!! There will be more now to let you know how close they are if you need them!!  Excet me for a little while while I get these DArn TEETH PULLED.. (HEHEH)

Linda Kay