...and while I'm going off on a rant....

Here's another one.  How do you handle rude co-workers?  I really want to tell one of them that it is none of her freakin' business.

Now, I'm pretty open about my procedure - 3 of us at work (out of an office of 24) have had RNY.  I'm proud of what I've lost so far.  I'm down 85 pounds since December.  I've got about another 85-90 to go.  Most of you have met me - I'm only about halfway to goal.

I'm 5'3 1/2", so I'm not tall by any means.  I'd say I have maybe a medium frame.  I'm not teeny like Shanna.  (You're really petite sweetie!!)

Anyway, this woman has a loud voice anyway, and blurts out across the office "How much have you lost now?  What do you weigh?"  When I tell her what I've lost and that I want to lose (and feel I need to lose) about another 85, she flips out saying I'd look like "a crack ho" and that I'd be smaller than my size 6 boss - no way do I need to lose that much.  I'm "skinny" enough.  Oh please!  I'm over 200 pounds still!  Give me a break!  I've lost out on several promotions due to my size.  (and yes, I know that to be a fact - illegal though it may be)

Well, you know what?  Yes, I do.  Even with what I've lost, I still am not under 200 pounds yet, which by any stretch of the imagination, makes me still obese.  Someone 5'3 1/2" with a small size 6 1/2 - 7 foot size, obviously isn't real big boned.  I need to be around 120 pounds.  At 130, I'm still a little pudgy.  I look my best between 112-118, but now that I'm older, I figure maybe 125 max.  I think I am looking way better than ever before, as I'm the smallest I've been in 18 years.

Anyway, I'm rambling.  How would you handle this person?  I am so aggravated!!!

I would stop telling her numbers.  Just say "I am about half way to my goal" or "I have lost quite a bit, I quit weighing because it was making me crazy"  ...think of anything except numbers.  If she doesn't have a weight problem or never has she probably can not wrap her brain around losing 85 pounds and wanting to lose more, and if she is heavy she is probably jealous.  Remind her that you are under the close supervision of a doctor who specializes in weight issues and he will help you decide what your goal weight will be.  Tell her that you trusted him with your life so you feel confident in his ability to guide you through to the end..that should hush her up.


Jeannie

Thanks for the advice Jeannie!!

I think Jeannie is so right.  I would also suggest that you down play the weight numbers too.  Change it up on her and say.... You know, I feel so much healthier and so much more energy.  I really believe this whole journey is about far more than the numbers on my scale.  It's about having my health and happiness back.  So, I am gonna let my doctor monitor all that and I am gonna continue to enjoy this incredible journey.  I am truly blessed to be a work in progress.

That ought to make her think a bit too.  For some people they dont understand it, and they think its all about the numbers and even then.... they dont comprehend the numbers.  If they never have had over a hundred pounds to lose, they dont really understand.  And if they do, they wont accept it well when someone else is doing what they want so badly to do.  Believe me, I have a daughter that reminds me of her misery in all the hateful things she says. 

You can't take on stupidity and ugly attitudes.  But you can slap it back with a "yeah ME!" and go forward.  So, WORK IT BABY!   Use that attitude and knowledge you have gained and let it all out in a positive comment that will leave her jaw dropping and speechless.

Huge hugs to ya, Hot Momma!

Tracy

Christie
I have never been under 200 pounds(well since middle school) and i just say not enough when ask how much i have lost.
But omg a crack ***** i would have went over the tables or whatever after her and you are to beautiful to be a crack *****there is always going to be that 1 person trying to sabatoge your sucess,i would not dignify her with an answer next time.
I wonna lose alot more but i know at my frame i will look sick at 145...........
Love and huggs to you

I would say "jealous Much" and then SUCK IT!
Thanks for the compliment.....You made my day!
shanna

Wow..if someone said that yoo me, I'd have to be a smart a$$ and say something like 'I've lost enough to keep my hubby busy all night but you'll have to do you own'. LOL! Seriously, I'd just tell her that your doc says that you've got abit more to go and leave it at that. And the crack about being smaller than your boss? My reaction would be 'well cool! Maybe she'd wanna go shopping together some times.'. Yeah. I know. I can be a b*tch sometimes. The last thing I'd do is quote numbers or let her know that she's getting under your skin. Whatever you come back with, do it with a syrupy sweet smile. When I was a young girl I had a Sunday School teacher tell our class that the best way to get even with an enemy is to smile at them. It is so true. So the next time she says you look like a crack ***** just smile and tell her that thanks to you losing weight you went from being a food junkie to a sex feind and your hubby is having the time of his life!

Sherri

She may very well mean it in a complimentary way but, people don't think before they speak and so many do not have any grace or consideration in their conversation skills. I have had some of that from people too and I would say; well, thank you I feel great and am sure glad that I won't look like a "crack ho" when I get to my goal. And then next time she hollers you should make a joke to her about being subtle or whispering like, "UM...I'm sorry, I didn't hear you... could you speak up?". Derrrrrr that woman has no tact at all. I would try to embarress her back or kill her with kindness and make her feel stupid. You know everyone else in the office knows it too.
Get her girl, just do it in a way that makes her look ignorant instead of you looking angry.

Chiming in to say I agree with what the others have said.  Don't focus on giving numbers to others.  They just don't understand.  We are under the care of excellent professionals who know what our BMI is for our height.  You don't owe anyone an explantation that doesn't probably even know what BMI stands for.

I can relate to what Sherri says about the Sunday school teacher telling her to smile at rude people.  My ex-husband was so cruel to me and treated me so badly.....but one of my doctors told me that the best thing to do in those cir****tances is to show them that I am happy.  And that's what I've done.  There is nothing these kind of people want more than to see us miserable.  The best thing to do is just be who you are.  Be true to yourself.  As you continue on your successful journey of weight loss and being a happy, fullfilled person, which BTW, you already are and its only going to get better and better, this person will be "eating" her words. LOL 

Misery loves company.  What they hate more than anything is for others to be happy.  So keep being the happy person that you are.  Don't let anyone steal your joy! 

love and big hugs,
Kat 

 Crack HO! OMG!  Tell her that's the look your going for and turn around and leave the room!

Seriously Christie - we've all got ONE coworker from He!! to deal with.  I personally don't want to be 125 or even 130 you might want to be that weight but as I've dropped it I've discovered my goal of 150 was going to be too small for me and what I wanted.  I lost down to where I'm comfortable with me.   You'll know when your there.

I was thinking though -- maybe you should ask your coworker how much she weighs across the room a couple of times -- may be enough "love" to get her to leave you alone! LOL

Huggs,
Frankie