Where is your head?

20 months out here and yep have the same problem too.  I'm a stress eater, grazer, and a carboholic.  I thought that I had the whole carb thing mastered but have found in the last 4 months that I battle day to day with it. Some days are good and some are BAD!  If i'm bored well you better lock up the kitchen cuz that is where i will find myself.

Since having surgery, I dont like to chew things unless it is mushy, soft, or very crunchy. I ended up having issues with textures of certian foods. So thank goodness that has helped some cuz I was a pasta lover before surgery and now I cant stand the way it feels in my mouth. I am also a big drinker, I have to have something to drink at all times or I think I'm gonna thirst to death LOL yea i know silly, but when it comes to choosing a drink of somthing or eating well I choose the drink. So my problem is crunchy (which usually means a carb of some sort) goes down easy when you drink. So thats a bad thing!!

I dont really dump, although I have managed to do it, just normally takes alot. I so wished I would of been one that did cuz I cant handle being sick so I know for me I wouldnt eat it if I knew I was gonna get sick.  Lately though, I have found if I eat to much of the carbs, I feel like I'm drunk or something. My vision even seems blurry, but do I still eat them. Oh yes, so why do we do that, geeeeeez I wish I knew!!!!!  Sometimes  I wish I had some kind of zapper or something so when I would go to reach for something that I shouldn't it would shock me and I would think twice before grabbing for it lol.

I have also found that if I dont eat alone, then I tend to do better on what I eat or how much. Unfortantly I cant always have somebody with me when I eat.  My husband is a big "I wanna go out to eat person" well that is one thing that I do well at, I dont like to go out to eat any more. thank goodness cuz I sure did before!!! Now when he want to go through the drive through at McDonalds I dont order anything at all. So I know I can do this just some days are really hard.

Well I have rambled on enough here (which is normal, lol) I dont think its ever gonna be easy for us, that is why we were in the shape we were in. We just have to do our best to hold our self accountable and learn from our mistakes the best we can.  We are responsible for ourselves and are the only ones that can change the what we put in our mouths. Not an easy thing but we can do it.

Ulisha

ooh yea I have done my best to keep myself busy the last few weeks so that I dont get bored and wanna eat. So I have started stripping wall paper and paint but hmmmmmmm what room did I automatically start on.............THE KITCHEN !!!!! I'm really beginning to hate that room its like a magnet LOL.

I struggle the same as all the other posters. I am now 21 months out and I struggle the same as everyone else that has posted in this thread. I keep a food journal which helps A LOT!! That way I can see what I have ate and not have to go by memory. But the bottom line is I still graze at times when I think I shouldn't or after I have ate it I am thinking "Why did I eat that, I really wasn't hungry".  I can go to the pantry to get something to take to work for lunch and then the next thing I know I have 2 little crackers in my hand headed for my mouth.  I have gained and lost the same three pounds for the last 6-8 months, I exercise a minimum of 5 days a week at the local YMCA. I put my body through a rigourous workout and I struggle to maintain the weight I am at. I want to be 10 pounds lighter than I am but just can't seem to get it off. The one thing that has helped me over the last 2-3 months is I am eating  an enormous amount of sugar free jello. It does seem to help when I THINK I need something to eat, so I eat that. I feel I make smart choices for food consumption but even too many of the good choices are still a bad thing because it still makes you gain weight. I also have a fear of waking up like Tim Allen did in the movie "Santa Claus" and find myself that huge, overweight self all over again. I think that helps me to stay on track most days. If anyone has any pearls of wisdom I sure would be open to listening and seeing if that would work for me.

   I know I am late on this post....I have been avoiding OH a bit I think.  But then I get online and find this post and realize that I would have felt better to read this than avoid.  I am almost 8 months out.  I have only lost about 12 lbs in the last 3 months.  And it ****** me off...I know there are no absolutes but I was suppose to lose for 1 year not 6 months.  I am still at 254!!!! I thought it would stop around 200 and I would fight my way to onderland.  But that is not what happened.  So, now that I am stuck I just want to eat my face off.  I have started really fighting the grazing.  I had a couple of days earlier this week where I ate and ate.  Every 15 minutes I had something else in my dang hand!!!!!  Then I FREAK out b/c I think I have stretched my pouch or stoma. 

  Mainly, I am tired of thinking about food and WLS.  I seem to spend most of the day thinking about what I should be eating or what I shouldn't be eating or planning what I am going to eat.  I fight my head hunger.  Then I beat myself up for not exercising.  Then I have anxiety over my pouch.  GOD, I am exhausted.
  I don't feel restriction.  The doc says I am just "one of those people."  GREAT!  My diabetes also did not go in remission.Now, I am fighting dizzy spells due to low BP.   I know it is childish to compare yourself to others.....but it is also human nature.  I have a friend that had RNY about 5 months before me.  She doesn't follow ANY OF THE RULES!  She eats fried foods, regular soda, pasta, bread about anything.  She doesn't exercise or take her vitamins.  She is down to 190....and here I sit at 254.  This chaps my ass.  She has that FULL feeling.  I don't have that....and I want it!
  I am SCARED to death that I am going to gain weight back.  I KNOW that I have to do something to get my head on straight in order to be able to continue to wage this war.  But man, I am tired and just want a hot fudge sundae.
  Thanks everyone for sharing your feelings.  I was feeling even more freaked out b/c I thought I was just one of the big RNY failures.

*** Ulisha-my guess with your carb drunken feeling is that your blood sugar is going 
way up when you eat them.  That is probably why your vision gets blurry.  I could always
tell if my BS was up b/c I could focus right.
  
 

Jana your response hits on one of the areas I hope we can explore together and share some ideas and experiences.  What makes us eat things that are not only bad for us but will even make us sick?  We are all smart people, yet you eat pasta knowing you will be sick.  I eat a cookie knowing its going to make me go to bed feeling like I just took a handful of sleeping pills. 

Jeannie