Board dynamics...

Let me start by saying that I am not trying to point the finger at any given person with this thread/post. This is just some of my own observations....

I've been a member on this board for over 6 years. In that time, many if not most of the messages had very little to do with actual weight loss surgery..which I give a big YAY! to seeing how the name of this site is ObesityHelp NOT weight loss surgery help. There are many, many factors which contributed to our being overweight. Sadly, depression is a very big one for most of us. Therefore, we try to do something about that in a constructive way...telling our friends here on the board rather than filling our mouths with our 'food friends'.

Lately, there has been alot of depressing things happening...especially deaths. Yesterday made the 4th wake/funeral that I have been to since Dec. 29th. Some young...some old. All loved. I know that my FRIENDS on here understand that. I cap friends because there are many on here that I have yet to meet. To you, I'm sorry that these depressing posts don't hold a personal touch for you. By all means, don't read them if you don't care to. That's ok. But there are many on here who was/are concerned about how their fellow friends on here are coping with the lost of a loved one. Those posts are intended for those who want to know. Actually, that is what all the posts on here are intended for.

Quite honestly, I do not read every single post on here. Considering all the problems I have gone through with my weight loss journey...and still am going through, I just don't have alot of patience for someone who wants to complain about the limited food choices the first initial weeks. If that is all you want to read, then by all means, only open up the threads that are from newbies. If you want to see threads that are only about your weight loss surgery, perhaps you should go to the surgery specific boards instead. The Indiana board is a full-support board. It doesn't matter what kind of surgery you've had..or if you've chosen not to have the surgery at all and are trying to lose weight by making lifestyle changes instead. We don't care if you want to talk about your vacation, your kids, or your dog. Whatever is on your mind, that is what we would like for you to share. If you are sharing it, you are getting it off your chest. And if it's off your chest? It's not getting next to you to get you to pick up that food. You see, for the obese person, there is NOTHING in our lives that hasn't been connected to food. Happy? Eat to celebrate. Depressed? Eat then. Anywhere in between? Yep, eat then too!

Lastly, it was said that it should be posts from newbies and the start of their journies that should be posted. Where does that leave someone like me? I am 4  1/2 years out. I suppose newbies wouldn't want to know what kind of problems CAN happen further up the road? Stick your head in the sand and ignore my posts if you wish. There are others who want to go into this with their eyes wide open. You see..had I known:
I'd end up hypoglycemic
My pancreas would quit feeding enzymes to my intestines
I would have a blind loop that is harboring/creating a bacterial infection
I'd have to have 20 endoscopies
I'd be in a coma and almost die
I'd wind up taking 50 pills a day instead of 5
My problems would warrant me having to go to Mayo Clinic for resolution
I'd have to have SEVERAL surgeries and procedures

I just don't know that I would had gone the surgical route. It's why my daughter has chosen not to.

I'm sorry, but after 6 years on this board and seeing the dynamics change many, many times..I will not stop posting what is on my mind & in my heart. Those who have met me are interested. Those who haven't? Block me & my messages if you'd like. I'm ok with that. Besides, I haven't met you yet so you definately would not be hurting my feeling. Shoot..those who want to lurk and only pop up to say 'yeah, too much depressing things'...if you aren't going to contribute to the board any other time, don't then either.

This board will continue to be a full-support board. We will ask for each other's prayers. And like I said, if you don't like that, ignore anyone's posts that aren't newbies..or go to a different board. I think it is horrible that the dynamics of this board had to be addressed at this time. There are way too many illnesses & deaths right now. I agree. But I want each of my OH friends to know that I for one want them to feel comfortable to cry on my online shoulders.

Sherri

Sherri,

I have to say - -

I'm only a "newbie" myself considering I'm only 4 months out.  I am so sorry that so many of my friends on here are having problems.  But from each post, I learn something. 

I learn how each of us copes with something serious in our lives.  I learn that it is better to come here and post the information, ask for prayers, swinging chickens, etc rather than soothing ourselves with food, as we all used to do.

I have met many of you.  Some of you have had so many tragic things happen lately.  Seeing how you've handled this makes me so proud of all of you, and teaches me how to handle tragedies, disappointments, illnesses without undoing the wonderful tool I was given.

This is a board for support.  And I think that's what we do - support.  No matter what the issue.  Right now, unfortunately, we've had some devastating losses in our OH IN family.  And like a family, we support each other in the good and the bad.

At the risk of being rude and crude (both of which I'm real good at though - and usually go to the R&R board to express), I'm going to say this particular board represents real life - we aren't going to always blow kittens and sunshine out of our asses.  Life happens.  And it usually happens when you're busy making other plans.

Gotta say - love you guys! 

I know I could cry on Sherri's online or real shoulders if I needed to - or Shanna's - or Lisa's - or Jeannie's - or Melissa's.... etc.

And mine are available to any of you as well.

Very well said Sherri, I have been a member for the past 3 years and we have always been there to support each other no matter what the issues may be.  I have gone through a very rough time lately and if it had not been from the  support of my family, (including OH family) I would not have made it through. 

I thank God that he has brought each and everyone of you in my life, and if people cannot understand that we are here for more then just to talk about wls stuff then they need to go someplace else.  That is not who we are, we are here for each other through the good times and bad. 

I will keep posting as I have been, because if I don't then I will not have the support system I have.  I turned away from this family and allowed depression to pull me back into the food system, and it is harder now then ever to get back on track.  But with the encouragement and guidance that I receive I am taking one step at a time in joining everyone back on the losing bench.

I have meet some of the most wonderful people I will every know right here, and there will be more that will join us that feels the way we do, and those that don't can either get on board with us or jump the plank. 

Hugs

Peggy

I need to say if i would have had this board years ago i maynot have ate my way to over 500 pounds.
I have no support groups in the area i live in so i come to the board .
I learn new things all the time even from the newbies but also i like knowing that if i need to talk i can come on here and post and someone will have an answer for me or a shoulder to lean on.
I feel like the board is my second family i cant wait to get on and see what everyone is doing and whats going on in their lives and to share my news good or bad.
I love to read the wow moments and sometimes i laugh at the post and then there is the post that tear your heart out and make you realize we are all human and that life is unfair sometimes and we need to be there for our oh family and beleive me when i say i am so blessed to be on this board and have made some wonderful friends and also ive made some new sisters and i know that they understand that at any minute i could dive into that bag of chips like a vaccum cleaner and they arent judgemental about it.
I never knew what depression was and was told after surgery i could get it(no not me) well i did and if not for this board sometimes i dont know what i would do .
i hope noone trys to change this board from the way it is now because the surgery is a tool and it makes weight loss some what easier but we are still going to face everyday issues and its helps to see how everyone deals with them since the surgery.
Its sad that not everyone can be happy  i was a newbie 13 months ago and i could not have done it without the help of this board if i had a question someone here had an answer.
I am a heavyweight and i was excepted here i now weigh what most of the newbies are starting out at.
But this board is like anything else you get the good with the bad and life isnt all good news and rainbows and sunshine .
But i agree with the others if you think it will upset you or depress you dont read it but please understand we need to be there for each other and just because a few dont like it dont ask it to change to a board where you have to pretend to be someone you arent.
love you guys and thanks for the shoulder to lean on.

Like Christie said... "I'm going to say this particular board represents real life - we aren't going to always blow kittens and sunshine out of our asses.  Life happens. "   But after swallowing a few things it has felt like a kitten claws and all alllllll the way thru those intestines!!

I am 4 years out April 26th I haven't gained or lost a pound in 3 years. Nope some of the posts I glance at and go on and some inspire me to say something... but believe me I learn from ALOT of them.. Do I only learn about eatting?? No I learn different ways to cope.. I learn how to rejoice and I learn how to just admit I have failed, pull myself up by my bra strap and keep on going. I have laughed at the funnies posted cried with prayer requests and gotten HOT with some of the put downs by people who dont seem to have a clue.  But I am not going anywhere...

Families dont always get along.. we are family I think we wouldnt be real if we agreed 100% all the time. But as family we will fight the BIG Fight together. Health...Mental ,Physical, Spiritual. It is just sometimes nice to go where you are accepted.

Linda Kay

Ok, let me start by saying... I LOVE THIS BOARD AND THE OH FAMILY!  That being said.... here goes:

Candy coating is not on the WLS patients diet.  You wont find it here.  No one to hand out flowers, and blow bubbles in your face to make you think life is grand.  If life was so grand, we wouldn't have gotten obese in the first place.

Let me also tell you, I have been thru HELL in my life.  My own kind of hell that put me in a position of needing WLS to deal with my wrong way of coping with it all.  Since then, I found this board and met other people who have been thru the same HELL that I have been and I no longer feel alone.  I feel connected, supported, and loved by these people. 

We have real lives, not just a life about WLS.  We lose jobs, we have tragedies, we have joy, and we have sorrow.  But all in all, we share in it together.  If you dont wanna pray for someone, dont open the prayer post,  if you dont wanna know what we do with our days, dont open the daily posts.  If you want to stick to surgery info only, go to that board.  If you want recipes, theres one for that too.  But all in all, this board had a huge variety of things to offer.  We are more than a board on a website.  We are true friends here.  Friends that laugh together and friends that cry together,  But that's what true friends do. 

So, if you dont feel this is the place for you.  Im sorry.  But it is the best place for me and many other OHers that find this board very uplifting.  I know in a heartbeat that my friends here would be by my side if I needed them.  THAT IS VERY UPLIFTING!

So, yes we are going thru a rough spot.  Look outside your window!!!  Get real!!! Have you seen the news on TV?  This whole country is in a mess.  At least here, we can join together and have someone to talk to about REAL LIFE!

Sorry they cant remove our ability to have bad things in our life with this surgery.  But as Sugarland sings..... shhhhhh!    IT HAPPENS!

     "Oh crap!  She's up!!"    

LOL - good morning Tracy! 

Sherri, I don't know what prompted this post but I applaud you for it. I also am 4 1/2 years out and feel the same as you. At this point in our journies we are struggling different than the newbies but still struggling. I love hearing what is going on with everyone wether it be in a personal nature or WLS. I feel that it is all connected in one way or another. I have always been an emotional eater and I struggle with that everyday. I will continue to enjoy your posts. Jana

PS Good luck at Mayo. I have faith that they will find out the answers that you so desperately need.

"Sherri, I don't know what prompted this post ..."

Jana..it was posts put on the Fridayyy thread yesterday which prompted me to say what I did. I don't want any of us to ever fear of being off topic or anything else when we come here. Everything which affects our lives, affect our obesity. We are only lying to ourselves if we believe otherwise. It is the love and support of God and each other that is going to help any of us to achieve success with weight loss..or any other aspect of our lives....

As we go through our further out struggles, I think it's only fair for the newbies to learn, as we do, that we will always have struggles and must learn how to cope with these.

Sherri

I haven't met anyone except on the board. I think you are awsome strong women,and men, I hope I will be able to meet you in person. I would consider it an honor. Keep on being you! I like it! Wendy