Help!!!

I am sitting here an emotional wreck and don't know who to talk to. I just told my boss I would need next Tuesday off for endoscopy. As usual she let me know how inconvient this would be for her. I have all kinds of thoughts going thru my head. Should I just give up on the Rny. Should I try weigh****chers again. Should I find a new job. I am just in need  of emotional support. My boss will really hit the roof when she learns I will also need to be off for my dghts. surgery. This is something we have both dreamed of for years and now that it is hear I feel like every turn is a struggle. I do not work in a kind environment. Since I work in a jail I feel the staff has come to expect the worst of everyone. That is just not who I am. I am a nurse, so could easily get a new job, but don't want to add that stressor, especially at this time before surgery. Help! help! I need some TLC. Thanks, Wendy

Wendy,  I totally understand where you are coming from.  My ex supervisor was very ugly with me over my surgery too.  Another girl in my dept had it done a year before me and blew off all the rules and had serious illnesses and was out all the time sick.  She would dump at least twice a week and have to leave early.  (after eating a cinnamon roll with carmel.... doh)  So my supervisor assumed I would be doing the same thing.  I am proud to say I never missed work once after my surgery except for my scheduled appointments.  However, she made me feel like crap for even asking.  So, I just started putting in vacation days and didnt tell her what they were for.  I still got the axe eventually when they decided to downsize. 

You should probably use your time off from surgery to pursue another job.  You dont need to be treated like that. 

Keep your head up and take these little speed bumps in stride.  This journey is sooo amazing and worth every one of those bumps in the road.  Don't give up!!!

Huge hugs,
Tracy

Thank you so much. I just needed some words of comfort. I am definately going to see what is out there job wise after surgery. Wendy

Wendy,

I know you're stressing out right now but you and your health are more important than any job.  They should be treating you better than they are because most people won't work in that type of environment.  They are lucky to have you.

Pray about it and if you're meant to look for a new job then God will let you know.  In the meantime pray for your BOSS because...because... well just because we don't know what's going on in her mind and its a nice thing to do

Huggs,
Frankie

Thanks! I am praying. It is hard to pray for someone who makes us angry, but you are right. It is the right thing to do. I am taking one day at a time and leaving the rest in God hands. Wendy

Wendy
How long have you been at this job?  If you have been there a year.  Go directly to HR and apply for FML.  Your boss can't brow beat you for any of that.  This is your right and this is exactly why FML laws were created.  There are certain restrictions and rules that apply though.  But please please look into it. 

Hey!  I am so sorry to hear about your frustrations.  I know this whole WLS journey can be a big pain in out big butts.  I won't lie to you and tell you that this is going to get easier.  There are a million different things that could cause you issues on this journey.  But I will tell you that even when I get down and frustated I never regret it.  I haven't found too many people that do.  You have fought for this surgery. You and your daughter have a partnership....it's worth it.  Just keep going.  The FML idea is a GREAT!  I hope that you have that option.    And then when things are less stressed and you feel ready/better maybe you can find a job where you are treated better.

wendy
i can totally relate to what you are going thru...
when i told my boss on this past tuesday she got ****ty w/ me and smarted off and said.."you know you have to use your sick time and vacation time first, right?" and this is after her being gone FIVE weeks...to europe on a "walk about"
WTF!!!!i was soooooooooooooooo pi$$ed!!!!  so i also told her that i needed the 23rd off (this was prior to telling her i was having surgery) so i could take my son to his all day annual appt @ riley..and i knew i had to talk an entire day for my nut class b4 surgery i had to lie and say it was for preop testing...so now i have preop testing on 04/21..when i tell her about that...she's gonna freakin flip!!!!
i told her that i would be off 3-4 weeks...i may just be an @sshole and take 6 weeks off...screw it!!! by then i will have had my surgery and right now...that's all that matters...

watch the flma stuff... they don't have to offer it to you if there are under 50 employees (but it sounds like you may be employeed by the county or state..so you should be OK in that aspect)...but you can only use fmla ONCE a year... you can use this for yourself or a family member....if you use it for you, you won't have anything to fall back on when you daughter has surger (i went thru this when my mother had hip replacement surgery and subsequent MERSA infection)... so be careful... if it were me.. i would use sick time and vacation time for my surgery and then play the FMLA card for my daughter's surg.

remember..you are one of the fortunate ones...you are a nurse...and can get a job like "that"...so i wouldn't let that part worry ya.

just my opinion...
ill be thinkin about ya!