Back from court

Wow! It didn't take long at all and it did go to my behalf. The judge raised the support by only $10 a month but, he told them that he was only working 8 hours a week and the judge grilled him so very much about why only that much and that you can't help support your daughter on that let alone live on that. He was ordered to inform the courts once he find full-time employment so that they can evaluate the case again and raise the support once again. My husband was there with me and his wife wasn't even there with him. They don't get along much so, I wasn't suprised. I'm glad thats behind me now and hopefully in the near future it will be evaluated once again.
Thank you again to all for your prayers, I took them with me!

HUGGGGGSSSSSSSSS 

At least he knows you are serious about more support.  be sure and let the court know when he has full time work.  i am sure he will not inform them.  I had a job interview this morning so please say a prayer that I get the job.

HUGS
Deborah

Good Luck to you and you have my prayers. Jobs are so hard to come by these days. I found out that mine will most likely be cut down from 40-32 hrs a week. Thats going to hurt me alot but, I may have to look for other work on that day off. You will get this job, I just feel it!!

I wish I would know when he gets a full-time job, heck the kids won't even know for sure. I am afraid the judge just gave him permission to stay on part-time status forever. 

Hey Joanna

That likes like a MIRROR image of what I had to go thru w/ my ex husband.  When I was going thru it, ppl told me just to be patient and don't let your mouth overrun your head.  Well. there were times when I did just that, but that aside..."karma" came and bit my ex right in the @!!! and it all worked out in the end.

It did take a while b/c my ex keep hem hawing around like he couldn't get a job more than 10 hours a week and him w/ MULTIPLE degrees.

So babycakes, you have a friend in me!!!  Us girls gotta stick together in situations like this!!! Like you I have had the support of my AWESOME husband...altho' there were times, when I'm sure he wanted to kick the crap outta my ex,but he's been there thick or thin.

Good Luck!!!
pam

I apologize for the length of this but if you choose to be patient enough to read it you will get to know me at a deeper level and how I've used adversity to help me be the strong person that I am today and be successful in my new, healthy, happy lifestyle.  It does not, in any way, reflect on any of you and what you should or should not do concerning your ex's and your personal situations regarding your kids.   
 
I don't ever want to step foot in another court room ever again to even try and get fair support compensation from my ex husband.  I spent 5 years trying to fight for fairness through the judical system.  The only compensation I got was a 5 figure bill from my attorney until I got smart enough to stand up and say "I'm done with this! I'm walking away with my head held high and I am happy with WHO I am." In the courtroom, he put his hand on that Bible and swore to tell the truth and then in the next breath told one lie after another for 5 years.   I never found fairness in the justice system. But I believe in a just God and we will both stand before Him someday.  

I was a stay at home mother trying to get spousal support----Yeah, right!!!  Married 24 years to the same man who said I was worthless & w/o him I'd be living in a cardboard box in a ditch & he'd take our boys.  I finally had enough and filed for divorce.  But he and his hot shot attorney picked me apart in the court room for 5 years like a bunch of vultures eating road kill.  He wanted me in that cardboard box.  He wasn't about to part with HIS money.

I'm not talking about divorce court.  This was 5 years proceeding our divorce. I'm talking about spousal support hearings.  It is paid by the week just like child support and paid in the same office like child support.  When he didn't pay, I had to go thru all the same BS that you gals do.  His attorney kept filing for a change of venue.....trying to get a judge that was sympathetic to their favor.  It was passed from county, to county, to county all over central IN until a suitable? judge took the case.  This took months & months & $$ & $$.

The case was continued over and over again.  The burden of proof was always on me....I had to fight and claw and document everything (even when I took a crap)and what I wasn't getting from him even tho it was in the support documents!!!  My ex just showed up and whined about how "poor" he was and that he didn't have any money.   He made $80,000 - $90,000 Yr. What is the annual income of a housewife???  $00,000  Don't even get me started on that!  I don't know of any judge in the state of IN that is supportive of a "housewife" getting a divorce; not with no fault laws.  Adultery doesn't mean anything anymore.  The words 50/50 split of assets is BS too when your ex refuses to do what the court orders & I have pay to take him back to court to release it over & over & over.

The support clerk testified with the documents in hand that he was behind  on support and his attorney objected during every other word of her testimony!!!  I kid you not.  The judge finally got wore down & continued it , continued it, & continued it...  you get my drift.  Each time it cost ME more money, more stress, more evidence, more time I have to be in the same room being humiliated by my ex.   His atty would argue that the sky was green and the grass was blue and on and on.

I really sympathize with all of you trying to get child support but please make SURE that you are NOT just lining the pockets of the lawyers to get what your children deserve only to have it continued over and over again and /or pay your attorney much more than you are awarded. 

I kept telling myself, "I deserve this" until I finally figured out that what I really deserved was to put that all behind me and move on with my life and truly be happy. I am so stickin' poor now but I am so richly blessed and happier than I've been in my whole life.  I've found out that by voluntarily walking away, living a happy, healthy life, and not caring what he and his bimbo wife does with his money. that bothers him 100 times more than if he knew he was succeeding in making my life miserable and unhappy.  I won't give him that satisfaction. I won't let him steal one more day of my happiness.  

And how does this relate to my bariatric journey?  I've learned to turn so many of my negative experiences in my life into something positive.  Those years of abuse that I went thru with my ex have made me realize everything I don't want to be today.  I hit my bottom. I surrendered it all to God.  I now walk thru the storms instead of taking the short cuts or the detours.  I face my fears.  I stood up & decided not to be a doormat anymore.  I learned to like who I am, have confidence in myself, self respect, inner strength, energy, a good attitude, & to be positive.

It's like the light bulb finally came on It was divine intervention.  I've been divorced 12 years now.  I'm not a victim or a survivor.  I am living life to the fullest - happy   All those scars that I carry from my past have molded me into the strong, positive, perservering person that I became 1 day at a time.  Having bariatric surgery and losing 225#  the first 2 years has only reinforced my positive energy.  I am like the energizer bunny now.  I just keep going and going and going....... I won't quit.  I struggle, I fall, but I get back up and keep going.
8 yrs. later I am still learning, growing, listening, and energizing myself  1 day at a time.   

I'm sorry this is so long.  Those of you that have read to this line, I hope you got something valuable out of it to help you on your journey.
hugs,
Kat  

Kathy,

Now I am even more proud of you, you are truly and inspiration.

Lisa

Pam, I identify with you fully! My husband now is such a strong compassionate man and to say, "kick the crap out of him" is putting it mildly. My hubby use to have dreams of doing damage to that man because he had hurt me so badly. But hubby has fixed my broken heart and mind and he loves me through any pain now. God has shined his love down on me through this man.
I am so fortunate and it sounds like you are too. Thats great.
and... I love being called babycakes!! Thats so cute.

Its not much but its a start $10.00 now $100.00 later
I cannot imagine what some of you ladies have gone thru and im happy you are now strong women and im so proud of you all.

Thank you, I'm proud of me too. I hate to even look at that man with his black eyes and his crappy facial expressions. I hated going into the courtroom yesterday but, my silly husband is so funny and he makes me laugh and cracked me up before we walked in. I was told once that the best way to get even with someone is to show them that you have succeeded them and I have certainly done that.