When and Who?

When did you decide to tell people in your life that you had made the decision to have surgery?

I have only told my husband, son, mom, and sister.  My husband accidentally told his mom against my better judegement. (and of course she said "i wish I could do it" and "oh you don't need it")  It is so hard because the people in my life that know are trying to be supportive but would like me to reconsider.  My husband is the best support I could ask for, though.

Because I am not a social person, I don't have alot of friends.  I do hang out with the moms of my local homeschool group though.  I am torn when and whether I should tell them.  They see my twice a week so eventually they are going to know or my son is going to slip and and say something.  I just don't want to be judged...I deperately need to increase my support system, but these moms aren't people that I am close enough to reach out to for support.

Anyone want to be my surgery buddy??  I think I am going to need some outside support beyond that of my immediate family.

Stacy,

I understand completely. I only told my family about the surgery beforehand. Obviously, eventually everyone is going to know because you're going to be dropping weight like crazy! Before the surgery, though, I just didn't want everyone to know. Everybody knows somebody who had a terrible time with it, blah blah blah. You don't need to hear that stuff. You are intelligent enough to have done your own research and made your own decision, you don't need people trying to talk you out of it, most of whom have no idea what they're talking about.

The people closest to you are just concerned about you, I wouldn't interpret it as "non-support."  They will come around when they see how determined you are to make your life better. Just be confident, smile at them, and reassure them that you're comfortable with your decision.

You have chosen a wonderful surgeon and support team at Clarian Bariatrics...Ruthann is absolutely the best! You can call her whenever you need a boost and you can be sure you'll get one. I don't know what a surgery buddy does...but if you ever need someone to talk to, you can PM me. I will send you a message with my cell number which you are free to use any time.

I know our belief systems are a little different, but I'm gonna keep you in prayer anyway!

Jenny

Thanks Jenny!  I really appreciate the kind words.  I do love Ruthann already.  She let my son join hubby and I in the Nutritional part of my appointment, and she talked to him about nutrition too.  My whole family si doing the liver reduction diet with me, which is great for me and for them!

I have read your blog, and told my husband that I thought it was funny that the person one here who's beliefs are probably the farthest from mine, is the person that I seem to get along with best...LOL.  Funny how that works.

Yep! Just goes to show you that it can be done! People can disagree without being disagreeable.

Good luck, and keep us posted on everything that's going on with your surgery!

Jenny

Hi Stacy...

Telling people about your wls is a very personal thing for some.  I tell people all the time that I have had wls.  I have no qualms about it.  But that is just me.  I am very outspoken and am very proud what I have been able to accomplish so far.  It helps me stay accountable too. 

My family is very supportive of me and so are the people on this site.  Its something you have to look inside yourself and your comfort level to decide.  Its a priviledge to me and a gift that I was able to have this surgery. 

Please let me know if you ever need to talk or vent. I too have problems with being very sociable.  I have some pretty severe issues with anxiety and that contributes to that problem.  Just read my profile for more info on that.  We all need support.  And we all need friends.  You aren't alone and I will gladly give you my email and phone number if you would like them.

((HUGSSSS)) 

And Leah, you should be very proud!  You look mahvelous darling!!  Missed you today sugar!!

I never kept it a secret from anyone.  My coworkers all knew, and were rooting for me, and my family knew.

I don't have many friends other than the friends I have on here.  My one close friend has only spoken to me one time since my surgery, and didn't even bother to call and see how I was.  Jealousy rears its ugly head.

No one has yet said I took the "easy way out".  It's a good thing too!  This is NOT the easy way out.  It is the fastest way out - I'll give 'em that, but it's a life long major change - nothing easy about it.

We're all here for you whenever you need someone to talk to.  Hopefully, you'll feel comfortable enough to come to one of our events.  We should be having another clothing exchange in a month or two - good way to get some new clothes!

Stacy,

I think I let me know on what I felt was a "need to know" basis.  Started with my close family and worked my way out to friends and coworkers.  There were some people/family that I left for last because I knew it would create havoc and chaos for me when I told them.

What sux about the surgery and having it is a LOT of people don't understand it and are afraid to ask the questions they want to in order to understand.  I found it was easier to set them down and explain it then ask if they had questions.

Huggs,
Frankie