Please send me your prayers

Today, I am six weeks out.  And I am not proud of myself.
I posted a few weeks ago about being worried that I am not following the plan, and that was just because I snuck a corn chip...just one.  But that was just the first mistake....i have since made many more.....
I havn't measured my food, and yesterday, I realized how much over 2 oz. i was eating at a time....I also "try new food".  This started out honestly just seeing if I would be able to handle it (meat, various other things), but now, i just kinda eat what I want....not to any extremes, but i have eaten things I am not supposed to have for a few more weeks (Dr. Jones has a pretty 'exact' regime). 
I havnt gained weight, but i know that it has caused my plateu.  I know that people stall, but i am not helping things. 
On top of all this, I havnt drank my protein ONCE....I take that back..I drank it once and couldnt face it anymore.....that was 5 weeks ago.....and on top of THAT I dont get my supplements in.....
I know the only thing to do is start over......measure my food, drink my protein, take my supplements, drink my fluids....and that is what I plan to do...BUT! the hard part is, I meet with my NUT. and surgeon tomorrow, and I AM going to admit to everything, but I am soooooo nervous...strike that, I am downright SCARED......

I am not asking for sympathy, I know I did this all to myself, it was my choice to not do what I was told....I am, however asking for your prayers....God works wonders...(.hopefully he works one on my nerves )   I just hate that this is the "most wonderful time of the year"  and I feel so rotten.   And then I feel more rotten when people ask how I am doing and i give them a "Great, thanks!"  but I have found its easier.....I didnt have a lot of people's total support because they thought I was too young to handle it....maybe they were right after all 

I do have one question, I know the Surgeon's office uses the weight you were when you walked in the morning of surgery, but I count from what I wieghed when I came home (it was higher!)  I know that was just the fluids they give you, but does anyone else use the second number?

Much love and God's blessings,
Katie Ann

You have mail

I would say fess up and talk with your nut an doctor.  They have a lot of insight and may have some good suggestions.  I would really recommend some support groups.  They help keep me in line.  Good Luck
I have had my eating problems too and I'm trying the one day at a time routine.    

Thank you for your reply.
I fully intend to tell them everything, because i know thats the only way they can help me.  i also go to support groups, and i do find them helpful, but I get intimidated when I hear how well everyone is doing, I dont want to be the "young kid who couldnt handle it" becasue thats not what its about.  I go to a small support group so it would be less overwhelmed, but I attended with a friend last month and they go to a very large, not so informative meeting.
Again, thank you!
Katie

You need to get to support group when they start up again in January.  Let others help you.  And that is others you see not these avatar people that are on line.  That is why we have gatherings, we can know each other.  Stooing harm to yourself.  This is about obedience.  The plan works.  Eat all the wrong food and guess what 1 year from now you will be heavier then you were, that is just the fact.  Sorry if you think that is too heartless.
God won't help with repeated sin in your life.  He takes it away only if you accept it to be gone.  Don't let the devil win.

God did a work when He created you in your mothers womb.  Free will is doing a work on where you are at now.  God sent Dr. Jones to you to help but you have to follow the rules.

E

Katie, First of all.... don't beat yourself up about mistakes.  Everyone makes them.  Secondly, take this whole thing one day at a time.  You need to start over and do your best to get it right EACH day.  Don't focus on the past few weeks.  Move forward with the positive attitude and the effort to do it the right way.  I think you should read over the dangers that could occur and will occur if you continue the wrong path.  It is a very serious matter.  YOU COULD DIE!  That makes me so very sad.  You are one of the fortunate ones that had this surgery and you are young!  Make that an advantage.  Focus on your daily goal and try to take it in smaller steps.  Don't overwhelm yourself with the big picture.  Organize a bill box that you set up with your vitamins and supplements for each day.  Make a written plan for when you need to take your supplements.  Then make a daily goal to try to get more protein than the day before.  YOU CAN DO THIS!  It has nothing to do with your age.  It has everything to do with your attitude.  Convince yourself you can make it through each day.... small steps!

I am praying for you and I know in my heart you can do this.  I am proud of you for reaching out for help and asking for prayers.  Make it count... every day is a blessing. 

Huge hugs and please email me and let me know how you are doing.

Tracy

Katie,
I am new to this site and have not had my surgery yet.  But, my dear you have a whole life in front of you of mistakes and good things to come.  Don't beat yourself up!!.  Confession is good for the soul and you have a ton of friends who are willing to support you.  Let them.  Yesterday is gone, you can't change it, but you can change today.  You took the big step and had the surgery.  Now you have to take another step and follow the rules.  Guidelines were made for a reason.  The doctors know best.  Listen to them as if your life depends on it, it does!! You are a new person and you will become even better.  Just give yourself a chance.  don't push the rules to the limit.  don't walk away from a tool that you have been blessed with.  You will never regret making the right choices.
God Bless,
Becky

Beating yourself up only makes it worse.. I kinda agree with everyone. YOU need face to face support group. I love the speedway and Plainfield one because the leader has had surgery herself and she is good.

Heck I couldn't drink the protien... YUCK!! So I drank 5 or 6 glasses of milk a day and ate 5 cheese sticks. yes I munched and sipped all the time but I got it down... did I tell you I never have liked milk??

It is NOT to late to use your tool!!! Start back to basics... look at your yellowsheet and do the BEST YOU can.. Stressing on not following the rules will also keep you from loosing..

Linda Kay