Having a very sad day.

I just feel sooooo down today. I miss my dad horribly. Sometimes I hate the holidays because that was his favorite time of year. Then comes to the buying gifts for people. I should be buying gifts for my own children not other peoples. :( I just wish I'd gotten the chance to carry my pregnancies. I just don't know what to do. I feel like all I've done most the day is cry. :(

Oh honey!  Wish I was there to give you a big hug!  The weather today doesn't help.  Dreary and gray days are going to make you feel down.  Best thing to do is to get yourself together and do something - decorate for the holidays, organize a closet.  Blog your feelings.  ... And come here often for a hug!

I'm so sorry you have not had the chance to have children of your own, as that is something you obviously want very much.  Will you be able to carry a baby in the future as your weight comes down?  If pregnancy is not going to be an option for you, is adoption or foster parenting a possibility?  Or perhaps being a Big Sister?

Hang in there, the dreary days can drag the best of us down. 

I'm hoping pregnancy is an option. The problem is I've had recurring miscarriages and they always blamed my weight and diabetes sooo the true test comes when I'm healthy enough emotionally and physically to try to get pregnant. :| The thought of losing another baby scares the crap out of me, some days I don't even know if I wanna try but then I know thats the one thing in this world my hubby wants is a child of his own.

Everyone has their bad days, weeks, months and years.  And there are times when I have found that being an adult just plain sucks.  Losing the ones we love can be very painful.  Sometimes we just need a good cry.  But you have always seemed like a very positive and encouraging person, from the posts that I have read.  And you have so much to be positive about, like the fact that you have taken a huge step toward a happy and healthy life for yourself. 

Try and focus on the positives in your life and know that the sadness helps us appreciate the great blessings in life.  Tomorrow will be better. 

Lately I've not seen a lot of positives round me. :( This depression stuff is the pits. I still have 10 days til I get to see about adjusting my meds. Plus today was my last day with MY therapist for 5 weeks while shes on maternity leave and I don't know how comfortable I'll be with a different therapist. It's just piling on top of everything else going on.

Look at how well you are doing.  I am so impressed with your success.  Plus you have been so supportive of others.  That says so much about you and your character. 

I'm sorry that your typical therapist won't be available but you will have support here too if you need it.  Sometimes you have to just take it one day at a time.  Sometimes, one hour at a time.  But I have faith that you will come out the other side in a better place.  And you are right, depression stuff is the pits. 

Thanks..

I have really been putting off making a phone call I know I NEED to make too. I've been having ulcer like pains for like 3 weeks now and I know I need to call up to Carmel but I'm afraid to because of the eating disorder stuff.

Okay Misty Lynn81.  Step one... Call the doctor.  You have got to take care of your health.  The longer you wait, the worse the situation gets and the more stress you cause yourself.  Step two... Do not assume the worse, just get it checked out and follow the doctors orders.  You deserve better.  Step three... Do not beat yourself up emotionally.  Give yourself a break.  But call the doctor.  We want you healthy!

My therapist made me promise I'd call tomorrow. So I will but I'm just stressed out bout doing that. :|

Misty hun, I know how you feel about losing your babies.  I lost two before my son was born.  It took me nine years and two losses to carry a baby, so there is hope.  When I carried my son I worried every day and he moved weird in my belly, I thought every day something was wrong with him.  He is now a big strong 14 yr old doll.  Keep you chin up, we all love ya and understand

Jeannie