bummed

hey everyone...not sure if many even remember me....only messaged a few times...but i read and keep up with everyone....i have been so sick for so long...after the surgery and the infection...it took so long to recover...i am blessed to even be here today....weight was comin off...i have lost a lil over 140 lbs...still heavy i am like 265....but weight is at a stall.....so i was feeling better getting out moving more...enjoying my kids....started having weakness issues and no energy....then i started not being able to use hand and feet right...like to pick up the telephone or peel potatoes...just lil things....well the docs started saying i should be gaining strength not losing...so i did a brain scan and cervical....showed some minute signs of white brain matter floating...not typical of ms...usually....well then i did the nerve testing and eyes...which  i basically failed those....the tech was wonderful...i have not went to the neuro for results but he let me know i have major problems and i am not nuts....so all i know is i have some neurological disease...we have to narrow it  down...i have to get a spinal tap done too...but at 35 i was just gettin my life back...now i am failing again....i am unable to do as much with the babies i am laying around alot more....i am miserable....i am crying now....i know i am just sitting here worrying myself to dealth...but they said what i have already loss i will not be able to get it back....i am not happy with this person....i want to jump run live...i was just months ago....oh geez sorry to unload its just i have no one...so i turn to you all for an ear....plus i have huge body issues ...like most of us do...but because i was so huge i have fat just swaying...it flops if i move to fast....i lost so much of my hair...its finally growing back....i just feel so ugly....my clothes hang off me....i know i should go get more...or get my hair highlighted or something to make me feel better...but guys...i can't.... anything i have goes towards my kids....my doc will not let me work...but yet disability will not go thru or even deny me the 2nd time...because nothing i have says permanent.....i just feel kinda lost.......i dunno maybe i just have WAY to much time on my hands.....

thanks for listening...and sorry to ramble....just had to get this out of my system before the kids came home...

hugs
Kim

Kim,
Hang in there! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you...I appreciate that...I need all the prayers I can get to get thru this...

hugs
Kim

Oh Kim,

I'm sorry for your troubles. Have you tried getting an attorney to help with your disability? We got one for my son Mikey's SSI claim.


Linda

Yes...but I was told I had to be denied the 2nd time...which they have not done yet....2 years now I have dealt with this....Started off ovarian cancer...then stomach...then the infection that wiped my body out....now this....The 1st time i was told I am severely imparied...but with education I should be able to do something....lol I dunno I feel stupid for saying this...But I feel like I should just give up.... Thank you for the support thou...it is much needed and appreciated...

hugs
Kim

Try a different attny. Ours took Mikey's case after the first denial.

Kim,

So sorry to hear of your troubles.  Thoughts and prayers are with you. 

Julie

Thanks Julie...

That means a lot to  me...I am struggling here...so I am very thankful for your kind words....

hugs
Kim

Kim, I am not sure where you live but maybe you could make the clothing exchange this Saturday in the Indy area.... sounds like you need a good dose of hugs and well wishes from the OH Family. I can't make this one but lots of people will be there. And, you could find some new clothes that fit and make you feel good. I always feel terrific when I get my hair done :o) If there is a beauty school close by you they have some good deals for clients allowing them to do hair so check it out. Most of all ......hang in there and know you are not alone. You have us on here to vent to any tiem you need and God will take care of you and see your thru this time.
Hugs to you sweetie! 
Marianne

I would love to come the the exchange...its going to depend on a few things....but it would be nice....i could use the hugs....and the clothes....but hugs 1st....lol

Thank you for the support...I just got alot of results back yesterday evening...and today they hit me hard....

big hugs
Kim