Did you make a "what if I die letter" pre-op?

I saw on someones page that they wrote letters to the family if they died to tell them what they thought of them and life in general... Is this a common thing??? Did you?? Did anyone read them that was not supposed to? I was just wondering.. Has anyone on here past away from the surgery?? Were they in "ok" health or were they very ill?? I am sorry I ask ALOT of questions as you can tell!!! Meg

I wrote letters to everyone in my family before I had surgery. telling them things that I thought that they needed to hear and how I felt about them. It helped me be able to go to surgery with a clear conscience because I knew that if something happened I had cleared the air. I left them at my desk at work and if something happened my co -worker (good friend) was going to give them to my husband to pass out so that way no one could get a hold of them that wasn't supposed to when I was ok. The first day I went back to work I shredded them all. I only know of one person that has died from this since I've been on the board for a little over a year. Mary brown, I didn't personally know her but I asked a lot of questions because she had my surgeon and I found out that she was ill before hand. Statistically there is a 1% chance of death with this surgery. I was goign to therapy before surgery to start working on my eating issues and my therapist and i decided on the letters. They really helped alot and you may decide to go ahead and pass them out. I didn't but my therapist and I had talked about going ahead and passing them out anyway... I decided against it.

No. I didn't. I verbally spoke with my kids, told them the possibility was there. I shared hugs from my family and went into surgery knowing that all was in God's hands.

Nope.  I never  say good-by to my family and friends without telling them how I feel about them (good or bad).   So I didn't feel the need to write letters.  Either that or I'm just too lazy. I went into the surgery fully expecting to come out wide awake and on the top side of the grass.  You will too!

My children (3 daughters) didn't want me to have surgery, so I did write letters to them, my husband & my grandkids, letting them all know one final time how much I loved them & how important it was to have this surgery so that I could have a life with them. (I lost a dear friend who had an open RUNY at Wishard 5 yrs. ago, who had a really bad heart, was a bad risk, & went ahead & got the surgery done even though her Dr. refused to ok it--just pd. for someone else to do it! I still don't understand how or why.) My daughters were so afraid it would happen to me, & would rather have a sick, fat Mom, than none.It was hard to stand up under their pleas, but I knew this was the answer for me.I had taken the time, made the inquires, attended 24 SG. meetings, did all of the research to make sure this was right for me- & it was!!!!  Like Jess said- there is a 1% chance- just like getting into a car, going across the street, etc. You have to decide what is best for you~your health, your emotional state your life.I had a wonderful therepist who I worked with, read the letters to, and left them with- they were in envelopes, addressed to be sent ONLY if something happened to me-and gave them back to me at my 6 weeks checkup, and we shred them in her machine together & she cried tears of joy with me!!!!  My daughters are thrilled now that I had the surgery- we laugh more, do more, enjoy each others company ,I cana play with the grandkids, aren't "sick~~" leave Grammy alone- she's not feeling well".Oh, life is so good, and I don't regret my decision one iota- it saved my life & gave me a healthy life that I can share with others, & serve God with better! ( I was on 16 meds. before surgery, walking with a cane, & in constant pain~ now I'm on 4 "maintinance" meds. for thyroid, arthritis, allergies and trigiminal neuralga.) Do what YOU  feel is best for yourself, it is so rewarding!!! (((hugs))) Ellen

I DID write letters to my loved ones.  It can't hurt.  You might have enough courage to say things to them that you normally wouldn't.  (hopefully good things )  I personally took the opportunity to express my love for them.  IF something would happen, even though I didn't anticipate it, I wanted my kids to "have in writing" the love I feel for them so they know, in my own hand, that they are the most important thing and that I wanted to do everything I could to be around for them, even taking a risk to do so.  Not to say that I didn't verbally tell them.  But, just another way of expressing it.  I wrote letters to my Husband, kids and parents.  All individual letters.  Needless to say when I wrote the letters I sobbed like a baby.  It was a very emotional process.   Happily everything went well for me.  However, it the event that it didn't, I know I had my final expression of love to my family.  To again let them know that it was not a sudden decision and I did it for me and the love for them. There is no right or wrong answer on whether you should write a letter(s) or not.  Do what is in your heart. Best Wishes Claudette