Am I just being Paranoid???

Ok everyone, I need some advice desperately. I work in a warehouse where there are a lot of people . I am in Loss Prevention so therefore I am around everyone and I interact with all of them. This is my dilemma. Before I had WLS I was very shy and would never think to just stop and talk to someone I never knew. Insecure I guess I would say. Afraid of what that person would think of me or say about me etc. now that I have lost the weight I do have a lot more self confidence and I am not afraid to get out and talk and interact with people. I also no that I look pretty damn good for a woman that is just about to turn 50 in about 2 years!! No, I am not trying to be conceded..The problem is I have a few guys that I feel like are hitting on me. they are quit younger than me and not at all my type. Actually I had one of them tell me I needed to stop going to another associates desk and talking to them. he then came up here later tonight ot my desk and said I told you not to make me jealous. And then laughed and walked away. Also when I was out on the floor earlier and he spied me he said there is my special girl and he also wants to bring lunch to me on Saturdday. I am now finding myself avoiding his dept. b/c of this. I don't want to make it out to be more than maybe what it is but I don't know. I guess what i am trying to say is I am not used to be treated nice like that where peoplepay attention to me. So am I just being paranoid or should I have reason to be concerned. I am not interested at all and I do have afiancee at home. Please help!!! Thank you so much I am getting very nervous and scared about this. PS I also don't want to start something and get someone in trouble if it is just me being paranoid...... Dawn 225/154

You could start off with a friendly.."Sorry buddy.. Offlimits..." Or just say not interested... maybe next lifetime.. they are getting the hint but not being to far put down. People are pretty frienedly to me but I have always been the clown.. seems I am withdrawing more now... being more choosy who I speak to. Good luck...Linda

I guess this is something I am curious about after I have surgery and start loosing. My question would be to them, "if I wasn't good enough for you to hit on me before the surgery why do you think I would be interested in you after......." I am curious to see what the "veterans" have to say on this one. Regina

I know exactly what you are talking about - as I was like you before surgery. After surgery, and losing the weight ... I felt I looked pretty good myself. NOW all kinds of heads turn, and look ... or try to come up and hollar at me ... BUT, you have to just take it as a compliment, and keep going. Let them know, "thanks, but no thanks!" (you appreciate the thought, but are not interested, .. in other words) Otherwise, this person may continue doing what he is doing, and may even get hurt in the process. So, let him know right now, that you are not interested. I dont think you are being paranoid. If you are like me -- you were not used to that attention before, so you dont know how to handle it now. Good luck! Susan 288/178 - was down to 158, till recently finding out I am pregnant. Did gain a little before finding out ... but still .... trying not to put too much on.

Hi Dawn, I recommend not being too defense (the "I wasn't good enough before surgery" attitude). Because as you said yourself, you were more shy then. However, as your attitude about yourself and your interactions with others changes, some people may misconstrue the attention you give them. I agree with the others, just let the guy know that you are flattered by his interest, but not interested yourself. You don't have to come right out and say just that. Use your fiance as an excuse. When he offers to bring you lunch, tell him that you appreciate the offer, but your fiance is a little insecure about how good you look now and would not understand that you two are "just friends". That way you are letting him know in no uncertain terms that you are "just friends" without accusing him of being more interested than he may be. You are safe both ways. And I'm sure your fiance won't mind taking the blame for now while you "get your sea legs" so to speak. As time passes, you will become more adept at side stepping unwanted advances. But like any new skill, it takes practice. Of course, that means you have to put up with receiving unwanted advances in order to learn how to gently turn them down! Good luck to you and remember that you have every right to be friendly without other people assuming that you mean anything more by it. They just need a little time to get used to the new you. Cindy