i want to know i am not alone

hey to whoever is listening i just finishing reading the memorial section and began crying, because i feel so hopeless like this will never change. i know that other people have felt this same level of desparation and i truly can not see a way out right now, i have a seven year old and i want more that5 anything to be around for her and i do everything i can to stay as healthy as possible but i know that this weight is going to kill me. i don''t have money for surgery and it is going to take a miracle for my insurance to approve because i have not had 12-18 months of medically supervised surgery since i was 12 years old. it feel really hopeless i worry so much about leaving my daughter here, her father was killed in a car accident 5 years ago and it make me so sad to think of her being without either of her parents. i have gained almost 100 lbs in about 2 years and my weight continues to increase, i can't stop eating i am so scared of what is going to happen to my baby. i am 41 years old and my body can't keep dealing with this kind of stress. is there anyone out there.

Try not to despair! I know how hard it is, especially with little ones, to look at your future and be so scared about your health and how it affects your loved ones... As for your medically supervised diet - do you see a doc regularly? They always weigh you, right? Do you ever talk about your weight with him/her? Many insurance companies don't require anything extremely stringent. Records of regular weigh-ins with discussion about diet options/attempts are often enough. Do you see any specialists, like endocrinoligists, pulmonary specialists, etc? That would count too. Get your insurance policy in writing and look at what they're really looking for. If it's not clear, call and ask (make sure you document your conversations, it comes in handy later). It took me a year to get approved, and a lot of finagling with the insurance company, but it can be done. If you have to start from scratch on your physician supervised diet, then start now, do it today! In the meantime, read lots of profiles on OH and come to us for support, that's what we're all here for. Lots of luck to you, Becky

I agree with Becky Sue... I just wanted you to know we are here.. We have been where you are.. yea, some of us got approved quick but we have struggled with the same fears you have.. leaving our kids at an early age.. dieing because we are j ust to fat to live in the body we have grown into. Please remember.. while you are going to the supervised visits you are learning how to live your life.. Even after surgery you have to learn how to live it healthy.. it is NOT a surgical miracle.. It is a tool to jump start your weightloss journey to a healthy lifestyle. However it is done it is done with education, determination and lots of lifestyle changes. Come often, Linda

one thing to remember is most of those had huge BMI's for the most part along with many other health issues....i will say if you do not feel right doing this then do not....i guess since i fought so long with ins, and the fact i read and studied this site for so many years I was soooo ready and nothing held me back..not one bit nervous...now had i felt any other way i would not have done it.... what you are feeling is very normal....

this is a fight worth fighting for. This really is your life. If you have not talked to you Dr. about supporting you in this, so ASAP. I didn't have the diet documentation my insurance company wanted and I was denied on my first request because of this. In my appeal I fully documented all my diet attemps and why they did not work for me. I listed all comorbidities and why I was afraid of dying young. You need to continue doing research. Research your surgeon and get feed back from others who have used him. If you don't feel comfortable with him, read the post and opinions on other surgeons used by people here. don't be afraid to switch. When you request approval for surgery from your insurance company be sure to be honest and say what you did in your original post about being afraid of leaving your child without a parent. Tell them how bad you feel and how hard it is living like you do. In one of the reports I found on the internet (with BC/BS emblem on it) there was a comment about it not being benificial for morbidly obese patients to pursue additional diet programs. If your doctor would put in a comment like that as well as the statement that they feel that your best chance of success lies in the ability to have this surgery. I researched the surgery for three years before I decided to do it. When the time came I knew it was right for me. Remember; the surgery is only a tool to help in weight loss. You still have to be ready to do your part with diet and exercise. Good luck.

If you are sure this is what you want...then I say go for it. With less than a 3% mortality rate (many of the people on the Memorial page died from non-WLS complications-keep that in mind), the rate of deaths from obesity related illnesses are much higher. Also....even if you DO have to do a 12-18 month doctor supervised diet with monthly dietitian counseling....then 18 months from now you will be that much farther ahead of the game and at least you won't be sitting there gaining yet more weight. This surgery is not a magic cure...you will still have to make changes in your eating habits to make it work and the 12-18 month supervised counseling will really help you with the changes you are going to have to make after surgery anyhow. So it's a win-win situation. Good luck to you on your journey...I am 47 years old with a soon to be 10 year old son....I was not living and he was paying the price. I thought the risk was worth it for him to get his childhood back with a mom who could take him places and do things with him...and at my all time high of 347 in 2001...I was developing high blood pressure and having trouble getting around....couldn't breathe....I hated myself....had depression. I never want to go back to that kind of life. RNY 7/28/04 HW 347 (2001) SW 296 (2004) Doctors GW 153 My GW 140 Current weight 147 Largest size 4X-5X, 30-32 Current size 8-10-12 Never thought I'd see the day when I wear a size 12 for my "fat" days!!!!