mental body image after weight loss

This is probably something I'll be dealing with in a few months...but right now I'm asking for a friend of mine. She lost about 70lbs "the old fashion way" and she's having a very hard time picturing herself as she actually looks now. Even buying clothes that fit her is a problem because she feels that stuff that actually fits will look, to other people, like she poured herself into it. So I figured if anyone could help with suggestions on how to get a grasp on her new body it would be the people here. Thanks!

It's a good topic Leann and something I am dealing with too. Although it's not as bad as being 347 pounds and having NOTHING look right on me...it still takes some stradegy to dress. Even though I am now wearing a size 10-12...I can't wear spaghetti strapped tops or sleeveless tops, shorts or tops that cling to the midriff. Oh I COULD wear these things..but the jello body would find ways to jiggle all around them So I stick to dressing for my body type instead of trying to mourn what I can't wear to look nice. For example...I am still large around the hip area...so I go for wider, flared pants that help to compliment the hip area (Yes, I watch TLC's What Not To Wear ). I also try to wear things that fit comfortable...if it looks like I have been 'poured' into it..it's a size too small I can cram myself into a size 10 jeans and get them zipped and they "fit"...but if my stomach is hanging out over the top of them-THEY DON'T FIT And due to the extra skin around my waist and hips-which adds a good 5-6 inches....I try to go for short, fitted jackets that add a slimming waist appearance. It's a Trial & Error process....and a lot of shopping to find what fits....but I have started trying on clothes before I buy them-which is something I never did before. Hope this helps!!!

hard hard question and not sure we ever get over this, i see a size 10-12 and will think no way in heavens is that gonna fit me..and then amazed cos it did....i will wear a bigger top just cos i am more use to being COVERED and my upper arms require bigger as well...and most of these new styles are so dang short in length one reason i suppose i love the goodwill so much....but then also i can see a size 24 and think how huge even though i know at one time they would have fit....so not sure there is an answer, i think i saw myself even as a size 24-26 as an 18 maybe,, and hey whats up with these crazy new sizes 21?

greetings i don't have any advice on how to deal with this, just wanted to say that i have the exact same problems! my co-workers are constantly telling me that something i'm wearing that i think is fitting me well -- they think is WAY too large for my new size. it's weird how i don't seem to see what others see when they look at me. so no advice, but you can assure your friend that she is not alone in this misperception situation! best to both of you! deb -234

Thanks ladies! According to her husband she doesn't look poured into anything but in her mind she does. For example..she used to wear shirts at least a size too big to try to "hide" her belly so now any shirt she puts on if it touches her belly she feels it's too tight when in reality it looks great, it's just what she's accustomed to. Good to know it's a common problem so at least she's not suffering alone. LOL As for What not to wear....I've recently started watching it again too because I knwo I'm going to need some of those tips since I've never been good at dressing myself. At a size 26/28 it doesn't really matter, you get what fits because choices are limited...but in a 16 getting clothes that look nice on you seems like fun. So the fitted 4 button jacket flared at the bottom and the a-line skirt thing is something I know nothing about but would like to learn. Someone should create a show specifically for post-op people who need to know things like this. LOL

Try having her take pictures of herself in different clothes. Those that are too tight, those that are just right, and those that are way too big.....maybe if she could SEE herself not at that time and not in a mirror she would be able to accept it more. I know that for a lot of us, we never really saw ourselves as big as we really were until we saw a picture...maybe the same is true for when we lose the weight!!!! Just a thought!

I suggested to her to keep a before and now pic in easy view so she can see how much smaller she is. I like your idea about the different clothes though. I'll pass that on.

I was at the Frankfort support group meeting last night .... and I hear that St. Vincent is going to have some sort of group discussions on this. I'm not sure of the dates or anything ... but you might check with someone at St. Vincent to see when that will be. It is specifically for "body imaging" and that sort of thing. Susan