Signs-or Am I losing my mind...

Hello, I know this may sound weird, but lately I have been consumed with so many different emotions and feelings, that I have had a hard time remembering things, concentrating, and getting good sleep. My Lap RNY is scheduled for Feb.14th, a day before my 35th birthday. I know that this is what I want to do. I have researched, and have read about the worst possible horror stories that I can imagine. I want to improve my quality of life. I want to live life to the fullest. I am not a religious person, I do not practive religion in a church, but I try to live my life right, and I do believe in God. I have been praying lately, which I have not done in years. When I try to think of my surgery in relation to God, I think that by getting aproved so easily, that God must have paved this path for me.... What "freaks" me out is this. It seems like I am looking for "signs" I left the t.v on the other nigh****ching a show, and woke up in the middle of the night, a religious show was on, and he was talking about a person passing, as in dieing, and I though Oh my gosh, is this a sign??? Then a few days ago, the alarm clock went off to music, and the first words to the song that I woke up to were "I lost my wife" I'm thinking is this another sign..... I turn on the t.v., and there's always a show on about a death of a mother......(I have a 5 year old daughter, who is attached to my hip, and a 13 year old son, and I don't want to leave them motherless) I know I may sound crazy, and maybe it's just these jitters that I have. I get so emotional at times. I only have 6 days left til surgery, and I would really life to have more of an inner peace with my decision, and not worry about these so called "signs" that I see/hear. Did anyone else think this strange way as I am?? Thanks, Melissa

Melissa, I'm not in to reading something in everything I see or hear. If I were, I would have went out and got drunk today instead of going to work (Tequilla makes her Clothes Fall off was playing on the radio on my way in this morning). My dh and I just had this conversation last night. He saw on the news that low fat diets won't prevent cancer afterall. Now, I am a lab technician by trade (think 'scientist') and I fully believe that a person can make any statement true...it just depends on how the data was collected and interpretted. Just as it's up to each individual on what they make out of the data they come accross every day. You can look at a story about a mother dying and think 'poor woman' or you can personalize it negatively and think 'that could be me if I have this surgery' or...you could try another spin and think 'wow, that could be me if I don't have the surgery'. I would opt for the first choice myself. Quite honestly though, this is a serious surgery and deaths do occur. They aren't very often but they do happen. Most of the time when they do happen it is because the person was in such bad health that any kind of surgery would have probably killed them. Another fact....morbid obesity does kill people. To make yourself a little more assured, I encourage you to use the internet (and surgeon/PCP office) to gather your own data. Find out the mortality rate for post-op WLS. Keep in mind that as these procedures are used more and more, the death rate decreases. Now find out the mortality rate for co-morbidities of morbid obesity: Heart, high blood pressure, diabetes. I would hazzard a guess that you are going to find the WLS mortality rate much lower than that of the co-morbidities. Try not to read messages into coincidences....or put it on cartoons. They make just as much sense. Good luck. Everything will be fine.... Sherri

I agree with Sherrie...don't read too much into what is on TV..gather your facts and make your decision based on your gut feeling. Ask yourself how your quality of life is today and what you can do to correct it or make it better. With less than 3% mortality rate connected to WLS...I opted to get my life back. I was not living anyhow. I could die tomorrow in a car wreck and leave my 9 yr old orphaned...but today when he asks me to play with him on the floor or go to an amusement park with him..I can do these things...something I could not do 19 months ago. 19 months ago, if he was in need of me running to save his life...I would not have been able to do it...now I can. Things to ponder.... Good luck on your journey

I think you should contact the Doctor you saw for your psych eval. He or she will be glad to talk to you. That is partly why they are there. It is normal to be afraid. This is going to be a life changing event. But that doesn't mean that is has to be a NEGATIVE event. Personally, I am still pre-op. I get nervous and question whether I should do this. I have an eleven year old and a four year old. I don't want to leave them motherless either. But I also have diabetes, high blood pressure, and a family history of cancer and heart disease. If I don't have this surgery, any one of those could take me away from them too! I chose to take my chances on the surgery! Good luck to you and I will keep you in my thoughts. Cindy