Time for me...

Now that things have finally calmed a little I need to take some time for me. The funeral was VERY hard. I stood at my great grandmother's casket before they shut it thinking that if I just stood there and cried all day they wouldn't close it. It was SO final. They closed the casket and the only thing that I could think of is that would be the last time I would see her again until the day I took my last breath. I just couldn't walk away from the casket. My mom had to come and tell me it was ok. I think what made it so hard was seeing that she had picked out everything she wanted to be buried in and in the box of things she had a bracelet I had made special for her. She wanted to be buried with MY bracelet. My grandmother asked me if I wanted it back to have as a rememberance of her, and I said no that I had made it for her and she must have loved it enough to want to take it with her. So they closed the casket with my bracelet on her wrist. It breaks my heart to know she is gone, but at the same time comforts me to know she is looking down on me, watching over me and taking care of me. I miss her and can't believe she is gone. The day of her visitation was exactly 6 months from the day my grandfather passed away. So, July 20 I lost my grandfather, October 28 I lost my uncle, December 26 I lost my cousin, and January 19 I lost my great grandmother. I do believe that after so much grief, I need to take some time for myself to mourn and then heal. Anyone up for coffee or dinner on Tuesday night with me to help me heal my broken heart?

Leah...I few all by myself several years ago to Idaho.. met up with some Aunts I barely knew and a cousin.. I loved dearly.. We buried my Grandma.. I had only seen grandma about 6 times in my adult life but I wrote to her and talked to her on the phone.. She was 95 when she passed and she was also ready to go.. she said no mother should out live her kids and she had already buried Uncle Don and My mom.. I cried and cried at her funeral.. I think i was the only one in tears.. but I did my grieving.. for her and my mom... I kissed my grandma and told her to give my mom a hug.. it was like she was the last link on earth I had to my mom... Now for an odd reason Aunt Lois and I have a computer connection... I think she needs the link to her sister (my mom) as much as I need her.. We email back and forth to idaho weekly... I cant meet you tomorrow I am going to be at the hospital all day getting classes and tests for my new knee but I did want you to know I know what you are going thru.. Cry and grieve and remember her with love.. then let her be in peace... and you be in peace knowing she is with God and in such a beautiful place.. Linda

Hi sweety....I'm available Tuesday (the advantages of not being married and of having a son old enough to stay home a few hours by himself ). Tell me where ya want to meet and what time and I'll be there.

ahhhh, i know alot of this pain what with the loses on eds side of the family this past year, 3 in a row..the one being his son and a close cousin and then his mom....do i see the word dinner and i know that means food...so i know i am there....where am i gonna eat at is all i need to know...LOL...i will give you a hug...i know i am already thinking about my mom being gone 13 years....and eds pain is still fresh...

Leah, I'm sorry that you have gone through this. Yes, you are a brave woman and very strong. You have gone through alot of loss lately. I will be thinking of you! Heather

Leah, I feel you pain. I lost my grandfather, great aunt, father, grandmother, brother and close family friend in a short amount of time. My grandmother was like my mother and I still mourn for her. I am in the process of planting a shade garden in her memory. She taught me so much about flowers I know your grandmother will be watching over you. Just remember you will see her again and until then she is happy and in no pain. Remember the good times and allow yourself time to heal. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Much love, Jessi