SO very confused,tired from thinking so much....

Hello, I initally started out w/Dr.J.Mandelbaum. A few people that I know have had him, amd they absolutely love him, and they think he is the best. I met with him, and I thought that he was very nice, to the point. But I didn't really have a connection with him, or I guess my comfort level was not there...I don't know what it is. I have been approved, and I just found out that my surgery date is scheduled for Feb.14, Valentines Day, and a day before my b-day) Not so sure about that date. Well, I have been researching, and reserching, etc. I've ready so much about St.Vincents, and that they have the state of the art facility, and that people come from all over the country just to have ther surgery their...and I have researched Dr.RoseMarie Jones - who made me almost feel like crying because she was so compassionate. St.V's is about an hour drive from my house. St.Francis is about 5 min. away. I am so confused. Dr.Jones makes me feel so much more at peace. I hav ready so many testimonals from people saying that the rtes her a perfect 10, that they drove hours just to have her....etc,etc. Has this happeneded to anyone, having second thoughts about your surgeon? Do you think that I would have problems changing providers with my insurance company? Does anyone have experiences with either Dr.Jones or Mandelbaum? Then I have second thoughts again. I know both doctors are great, but one has quite a few more years in Baraitrics, and her practice is 90% bariactrics, where his is 20%. I know I am going to have this surgery, I guess I am just so scared or dying, and/or having major complications, mostly of dying. And when I think of a surgeon performing over 3000+ surgeries, it makes me feel better. Sorry for rambling, I just feel like a basket case, and it is wearing me down. I need to somehow find peace...... Thanks for listening, Melissa

Melissa you need to follow your gut! If you have that strong of a feeling about doctors postpone the surgery and change doctors. Our minds and bodys warn us about things for a reason. I know that when my conscience tells me something if I dont follow it I usually get screwed.. I dont know either doctor, but from how your typing sounds/looks I would change doctors.. Just my opinion! There is a great doctor that works with Dr Gomez at Wishard. I had Dr Gomez, but Dr Simons is great. He is sooo very outgoing and always smiling and makes you blush..lol 630-7978 if you want to look into it Good luck with whatever you decide.. Just remember that if you feel really strong about something, there is a reason beyond cold feet! Michelle

Hi Melissa, I understand your "fears". I think we all have had some ourselves. I had a daughter tell me" I'd rather have a Mom in a wheel chair, than no Mom". I had to decide for myself what is best for my health. I didn't want to be in a wheelchair some day, cause my back continued to break due to my weight!!!! Some Drs. aren't "social".I have found that to be true. I did change my Physicologist for testing. I just couldn't "relate" to him. I know in my case, I was thinking of changing my Surgical Dr. about 10 weeks before surgery, & was told" you will have to start the process all over again" by my Ins. No way was I going thru that again!! I love my Dr. She has taken the time to see me when I had problems, taken my calls, & supports me. She is one of the top rated in Indiana. I went thru a " am I going to be ok? Will she help me?" phase, right before my surgery.It was my nerves & "fear" getting to me. Follow your instincts; call your Ins. & find out IF you can change Drs. now, & I wish you all the best, whatever you decide. (((hugs))) Ellen

What m ade y ou choose the first Dr in the first place??? St Francis is good and they have done several... Have you gone to any of their support groups and asked about the Dr?? I do suggest too that you contact the insurance and ask them how approval will be affected. Or call your first Dr of choice and talk to his nurses,... Level with them and say you are having second thoughts and need their opinion.. They will tell you his track record..

Melissa, I strongly feel that you have to feel comfortable with your surgeon. If your insurance will pay for St. V's & Dr. Jones, then ask yourself if you're willing to make the drive not just this one time, but repeatedly if needed. Some of us do have complications and have had to go to the hospital several times. Chance are, you won't be one of them..but what if you are? I had initially checked with going with another surgeon. I was with MPlan back then. They denied me. In the time it took to get switched to a different insurance carrier, Anthem, I had heard about other surgeons and got my approval with a different one. Since that time, I have heard horror stories about the 1st one. Only you can weigh the many factors involved in making your decision. I would say though that the first step I would do is contact the insurance and explain to them that you were approved for WLS and that you'd like to know which facilities were covered by them. It's good to know your options. Good luck, Sherri

I used Dr Steven Clark from St Francis...the connection was there from the beginning..he is wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!! Dr Mandelbaum has been doing laproscopic surgeries for a long time...and he has done thousands of other surgeries. Not sure what he is like as a person though. I have only seen him a few times at support meetings (like the Christmas party in 2005 at St Francis...actually that's the only time I have seen him). He didn't speak...just Dr Clark spoke for the most part. The choice is yours...but you will have to start over and get on Dr Jones waiting list. The aftercare at both facilities is good...considering you are only there for 1-2 days and both hospitals are Level 2 trauma centers with excellent surgical staffs (for possible complications). Whatever choice you make...I am sure you will be safe in God's hands and if it's not your time to go...He will keep you safe and make your journey a sucessful one. Let me know your decision though so that we make sure you get a gift bag from The Melting Hoosiers!!!

For me, the choice was to go with a doctor I felt would do the best work. I know that sounds basic, but there is a difference between that and a doctor I'm completely friendly with. I'm not going to recommend my doctor or facility over any other, because it really needs to be a personal choice. I knew what I needed (or thought I did) and selected the surgeon, type of surgery and center that would best meet my goals. That may be entirely different for others. I personally feel it's good to be aware of the potential issues with surgery. This is major surgery that's going to be done and comes with major risks. I'm not saying that to be scary...rather, I'm saying that you need to be aware of the risks and balance that against the benefits. For me, the benefits far outweighed the risks. For me, I couldn't see existing (not living) more than a couple of years at 500 pounds. I could honestly say that existing for a couple of years versus the risk of surgery and eventual benefits was an easy decision for me. It paid off tremendously. The surgery itself went terrifically...although I wa**** by the proverbial bus in a bizarre and unrelated complication that could have ended VERY badly. But for all the pain I went through, the actual risk that did happen, the nerve and muscle damage...it's been 100% worthwhile. I would go through the same pain again to get these results. Eric C.

Hi eric...funny...I was just thinking of you this morning (in my shower of al places ). I was thinking of the clothing exchange tomorrow and I was thinking back to the first one and all the people who were there and I remembered meeting you and how far you had come since your surgery and it gave me so much hope for my own WLS journey!! Hope your journey is going well....keep up the good work! You continue to be an inspiration to me.

Thanks, I appreciate it. I still think of it as a bit strange to be considered an inspiration, or role-model...it seems like I just got started on this merry-go-round! Part of it is the mental issue of not quite seeing the reality. I was talking to a new guy at work who I consider a slender or even small guy...he started talking about clothes and mentioned his 38 inch waist. My thought, "How can I be a big guy and wear smaller clothes than this little guy?" Weird... Eric C.

Well I never knew you as a 'big' guy...but I know what you mean...suddenly there is 20 inches between my tummy and the steering wheel instead of having the tummy ON the sterring wheel. Or trying on clothes that in your mind you know will not fit, only to have them fit loose. All I can say is that being 150 pounds sure beats my all time highest weight of 347