Tired of being sick and tired - Confused!!!!!!!!!!!!

I could use some help. Some motivation. I am doubting myself. I have just been given appointments to see a cardiologist, my surgeon, and a hospitalist all to take place within the next few weeks. I am to have some testing to see if I am fit enough for bariatric surgery. Back in March I was ready to go to these appointments but, there was a death in the family and I had to put my surgery on hold. I put some weight back on.  I am now restarting things and I am very nervous. I find myself trying to talk myself out of things?! I am asking myself how do I know if I am doing the right thing by having surgery?? I am very unhealthy right now. On oxygen, insulin, steroids for asthma, major pain meds for pain & mobility problems, depression, anxiety, sleep apnea, restless leg, high bp, high cholest, ostroporosis, on and on..... I am weighing 279 I lost 30 lbs on liver reduction. I should be weighing about 135 so, I am actually carrying around another person. I am so sick. I want it to stop. I want to live. Is the surgery really the way to change things and make the health better?? Why am I so afraid? I know I cannot continue to go on like this much longer. Last week I was in the hospital for angina and some heart problems now. If I wait is my health going to get so bad I can't do surgery? Can someone let me know if they doubted things? Would  you do the surgery over again? Any doubts? What would you do different?  I need to meet someone that could help me feel more confident. I have had so many things go wrong with my health if is hard to believe that something actually will help you know?! Thanks for your time and consideration. Dawn

 Your worries & fears are normal. Let me tell you this I weighed 355 lbs & had gastric bypass on 1/25/11 I have now lost 100 lbs, in 4 months & am living again. It is worth it all, all the appointments, worries, everything. I was able to actually ride a roller coaster in Las Vegas 2 weeks ago! And ride on 6 different airplanes with no seatbelt extender. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I have video blogged my entire journey before & after they might help you or answer some of your questions its http://www.youtube.com/karasjourney I hope my reply helps, if you need anything just message me.

Thank you for getting in touch with me so quickly. I appreciate it more than you know. So you have no regrets of having the surgery. May I ask have you had any complications or set backs? Also, are there any things that are the hardest as far as changes in lifestyle that you have had to make? Was there anything special that you did to prepare yourself for the surgery? I am on the liver reduction diet. I lost 30 lbs but, put about 12 back on. I am just concerned because I am going against my immunologist, and a internist that I have only seen a couple times. All the other doctors seem to be ok with me having the surgery. Some are excited and some just so so. My surgeon is making sure I can withstand the surgery. May I ask did you have many medical problems or disabilites before you had the surgery.? I don't mean to ask so many questions. I cannot get to a support group as I cannot drive and my husbands work hours are when the groups get together. I am so impressed with you amount of loss and speed by which you have done it. Is there something special that you are doing? I will get on line and look at your utube site. I think that is cool that you documented it. I am so impressed. I appreciate you reaching out to me more than you know. I just pray I am doing the right thing. I had family talk me out of the surgery back in 2003. I cannot tell them what I am doing as they will try again and probably succeed. My husband and daughter are supporting me whatever I choose to do. I just I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired and living at drs and taking meds and just being sick. I don't have a life right now. I hate it I feel life is passing me by and I am missing out. Was it that way for you? I just pray the surgery will help loose my appetitie and help me to loose so that I can be mobile and active again. Sorry, I have really rambled a lot here. Thanks again I hope to hear from you again soon. Take care. Blessings. Always, Dawn

 Its no problem, I remember having a lot of questions too. I have absolutely NO regrets about having surgery, I only wish I could have had it sooner. I have had no complications, I did go to the ER 5 days out due to being dehydrated, but have had no problems other than that. I think the hardest thing throughout everything is just that my head tries to take over, when my stomach is only 3 oz, like I will go somewhere & order something horrible then get it & realize oh I can't eat that what was I thinking?! lol I was on the liver reduction diet also, but I actually gained weight on it. Before surgery, I had to see a pain doctor due to back problems which were made extremely worse due to being obese. I could barely walk or go anywhere because it hurt too much. I was about 98% house/bed bound. I also had horrible sleep apnea, high blood pressure & was taking 4-5 pain pills per day, now I take 1/2 pill before bedtime & no more wheelchairs at wal-mart & no more paying someone to clean my house or take care of my yard. I can do it all now. I have a 3 year old son & I am a single mom, so it was very important to me not to miss out on not only my future but my childs future. I wanted to be able to go to all of his sports events & not be worried about getting too hot or people staring. I definitely felt like life was passing me by & I had no hope, surgery was my only hope. Once the surgery was done, I was in some pain when I came out & was thinking "oh god what have i done", once that pain passed I realized "Wait a minute I'm not hungry!!!!!!" I had never NOT been hungry until now. I still have no hunger (thankfully) & my body tells me when I have ate enough & I try not to eat anymore than 1/2 cup of food per meal. It can be challenging, because our minds have to learn a new way of living, but every pound I loose on the scale is worth every cupcake I cannot eat. I hit -100 lbs today and I DANCED!!! I would have never imaged at 355 that I would be 255 now. And it feels great! I also went through Clarion Bariatrics, my doctor Was Evanson though. They are a great team & the hospital staff was wonderful to me. I hope that answers some of your questions, Take care! 

Congrats on the 100 lb mark! I am so happy and proud of you! WOW! Thanks for sharing! Thanks so much! I can relate to almost all that you said. Made me cry. I made my appointments with the Cardiologist, the hospitalist, and my surgeon. Only problem is that when I started this process in Jan originally I lost the 30 lbs and should have been on track to have surgery in March. I got sick and then my grandmother passed away.So things were stopped.  The problem that I have is I hopped on the scale and I have put back on 12 of those 30 lbs. I see the surgeon on the 7th and I am afraid things will be postponed for me to loose the weight again. I am trying hard. With the liver reduction I just cannot get 3 meals in a day and I feel so sick all the time. Probably my body having withdrawls from no bread or junk?! lol Thanks to your help I am feeling a little more confident that this IS a MUST for me if I am going to turn my life around. I too am sick of the multitude of pain meds and meds. I am tired of living in bed. My chihuahuas love cuddeling but, being in bed needs to stop. Was there anything special you did to prep for surgery? I am having trouble getting water down. I am trying to take vitamins every day. Do you do any special exercise? I know taking care of a 3 yr old little boy is exercise as it is. I raised 3 girls 2 boys. After your surgey were you on a liquid diet for long? Do you have to eat protein drinks or anything special that you have to buy? I just want to make sure I do what I am suppose to so as not to have any problems.How long did your surgery take? Sorry more questions. i have been on different sites and been reading different stuff. Maybe I am reading too much? lol I wish I could get to a group meeting. I think I have to go to one before surgery or something?  The folks at the Clarian Bariatric Center are awesome! My hats off to you. Being a single parent is a lot of work. And again Congrats on the weight loss! that is super! What is your goal?

 Sorry for not replying sooner. I was just on the liver reduction diet prior to surgery, nothing special I did, but I did join a gym & met with Erin Light the fitness coach for Clarian, she did a full body analysis which was very interesting & worth the $25. As far as exercise, I swim a lot & was able to buy season passes to Holiday World this year & have been walking all over that place at least 1 time per week. And let me tell you, it feels AMAZING knowing that I can fit on all the rides! - After surgery, I followed the Clarian manual (as best as I could) I barely could get my water in & I do believe I started pureed foods a little early. I use the Bariatric Advantage protein shakes, but they are quite pricey $50 for one tub, so I recently switched to Nectar & Whey Protein from walmart.  My surgery only took 45 minutes, I went in around 8 & woke up at 9, I expected to be out 2-4 hours & was worried something went wrong, but everything was great. You can never read enough before surgery, make sure you get some Gas-X chews to take with you to the hospital, it will help with the gas pain which is worse than the actual surgery, at least I thought so. - My goal weight is 145, I am currently at 246, so another 101 lbs & I will be in wonderland! lol. Hope you are doing well. Do you have a surgery date yet? 

I totally  understand where you are coming from. From the time of my decision after reading, talking to people and attending Bariatric seminars it took 8 months til my Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass Surgery on July, 27, 2011 at Johnson County Memorial Hospital with Dr. Dana Lindsay.

I had Type 2 Diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, PCOS, hypothyroidism, urinary incontinence, varicose veins, osteoarthritis in my right knee, fluid retention, aches and pain just being obese everyday.

AFTER SURGERY--I am NOT hungry! right now I am on 2 ounces of liquids per hour until I see the dr on Thursday.

I didn't have any problems with the RNY surgery except the dr found a hernia under my C-section scar that I didn't know I had--she had to remove some fat from around that.

It was all worth it and would do it again.

Hope this helps and wish you a great journey to health.

Thank you for sharing your story with me. everytime I hear from someone it just helps to validate just how important the surgery is and how I MUST do this for ME! I wish you much success and great health! Dawn