mixed feelings after consultation - long rant, sorry.
I had my consultation with Dr. Inman on Monday. I liked her a lot. She's from the south side of chicago - that's where my parent's grew up! Ha. She seemed to really know her stuff and I just had a good feeling about her. But I feel extremely overwhelmed with the process!
I have been calling all these doctors I've been to for the last few years to get the medical records sent, I've only gotten a reply from the ones that I have actually gotten on the phone with a person. The ones I talked to that said to fax them a letter, only about half have responded to the fax. So now I have to go back and keep trying to call them and not get voicemail. I know that it is part of the process, but I just get so stressed about it!
Plus I am trying to find a new place to live...my little 1BR is just getting too small for me, plus I live on the 3rd floor of a walk up downtown, and I can't even think about having to go up and down all those stairs to take my dog out 3 or 4 times a day after I come home from the surgery! And I have been looking for months and having a really hard time finding a 2BR in an area I want to live in that I can afford, but the thought of all those stairs post-surgery really has me feeling more anxious about it...
And the last thing is I feel like I am doubting myself because I haven't gotten the best reactions from most people I've told about my decision. My closest friend in indianapolis is very supportive of me, and so is my boss ( i needed to tell her what i was doing because of all the appointments and we are close anyway). My mom, she came with me to the consultation, even though she had to take a day off work and drive down from the Crown Point area, which I was so grateful about and said she and my dad will support my decision if this is what is going to make me happy...but after the consultation she was like "oh i could never do this" and "are you sure you want to do this" after the presentation and she keeps telling me to watch the biggest loser...i called my best friend and told her and she wasn't very into the idea either, she kept asking if i really tried everything i could to lose the weight and people she knew who did it had all these problems, but if it was what i was going to do she would accept my decision. ugh.
and THEN i met my new PCP on Tuesday because my old guy left the practice, and I give her the paperwork to send my records and all that and tell her i went to the consultation, and she was negative towards my decision as well. she thinks i have a big hormone imbalance, and drew all this blood to run like 100 tests, and so i will go back there next friday and find out what the results are.
i just feel like regardless if there is a problem with my hormones, its not going to cure my food addiction.
anyway, all of that has had me feeling pretty low, wondering if i am making another bad decision that i am going to regret. sorry for the long post, i just needed to vent i guess. thanks.
janet
I have been calling all these doctors I've been to for the last few years to get the medical records sent, I've only gotten a reply from the ones that I have actually gotten on the phone with a person. The ones I talked to that said to fax them a letter, only about half have responded to the fax. So now I have to go back and keep trying to call them and not get voicemail. I know that it is part of the process, but I just get so stressed about it!
Plus I am trying to find a new place to live...my little 1BR is just getting too small for me, plus I live on the 3rd floor of a walk up downtown, and I can't even think about having to go up and down all those stairs to take my dog out 3 or 4 times a day after I come home from the surgery! And I have been looking for months and having a really hard time finding a 2BR in an area I want to live in that I can afford, but the thought of all those stairs post-surgery really has me feeling more anxious about it...
And the last thing is I feel like I am doubting myself because I haven't gotten the best reactions from most people I've told about my decision. My closest friend in indianapolis is very supportive of me, and so is my boss ( i needed to tell her what i was doing because of all the appointments and we are close anyway). My mom, she came with me to the consultation, even though she had to take a day off work and drive down from the Crown Point area, which I was so grateful about and said she and my dad will support my decision if this is what is going to make me happy...but after the consultation she was like "oh i could never do this" and "are you sure you want to do this" after the presentation and she keeps telling me to watch the biggest loser...i called my best friend and told her and she wasn't very into the idea either, she kept asking if i really tried everything i could to lose the weight and people she knew who did it had all these problems, but if it was what i was going to do she would accept my decision. ugh.
and THEN i met my new PCP on Tuesday because my old guy left the practice, and I give her the paperwork to send my records and all that and tell her i went to the consultation, and she was negative towards my decision as well. she thinks i have a big hormone imbalance, and drew all this blood to run like 100 tests, and so i will go back there next friday and find out what the results are.
i just feel like regardless if there is a problem with my hormones, its not going to cure my food addiction.
anyway, all of that has had me feeling pretty low, wondering if i am making another bad decision that i am going to regret. sorry for the long post, i just needed to vent i guess. thanks.
janet
You have the right to rant.. Surgery IS a scarey decision.. but one I would make again in a minute because I was dieing anyway. I was so fat that my breathing wouldnt let me walk up and down those stairs you have.. let alone walk a dog after.. My knees were so bad they would just give out on me.. Falling is not a good thing... I couldnt chase and play with the grandkids..
Support??? Who gives a sh#@ you get it here... or with the new friends you make.. IF this is YOUR decison.. the people who love you will come around..
Some PCP's just dont understand the surgery and what a life change it is.. that of course is a shame... I had knee surgery a year out of WLS and they kept trying to feed me all kinds of junk...THEY SENT ME COOKIES!!! I Kept telling them I dont have but a 5 ounce stomach I cant eat that or just give me protien Ill be fine...And that was in a HOSPITAL...Unless they are schooled in WLS they just don't get it...
You will be fine... I dont push towards WLS and I dont push away from it I just support the decision made.. My DIL had the surgery a year ago and my son is in the process of trying now... I refused to get into the equasion until they made the decision..
Best of luck to you
Linda Kay
Support??? Who gives a sh#@ you get it here... or with the new friends you make.. IF this is YOUR decison.. the people who love you will come around..
Some PCP's just dont understand the surgery and what a life change it is.. that of course is a shame... I had knee surgery a year out of WLS and they kept trying to feed me all kinds of junk...THEY SENT ME COOKIES!!! I Kept telling them I dont have but a 5 ounce stomach I cant eat that or just give me protien Ill be fine...And that was in a HOSPITAL...Unless they are schooled in WLS they just don't get it...
You will be fine... I dont push towards WLS and I dont push away from it I just support the decision made.. My DIL had the surgery a year ago and my son is in the process of trying now... I refused to get into the equasion until they made the decision..
Best of luck to you
Linda Kay
Janet, let me just say.....slow down a bit and breath.
This is not a race no sense in trying to do too much at once and overwhelm yourself. Getting all the paperwork in line is a process that can be very frustrating. Sometimes you will be told stuff has been faxed when it really hasn't so stay on top of things and make sure you follow up.
My mom went to the orientation soon after I did to see about wls for herself. Her blood pressure got so high while she was there that they had to call my Dad and have him come and get her. It was not right for her, for me it was my only decison left. Its personal and definately not for everyone. I decided not to tell too many folks, I only shared with my best friend and few close family memebers. My mind was made up so I just didn't want to deal with any negativity while I went through the whole process. Once I had been approved and had a surgery date I told more people, by that time I was highly educated on the surgery too and able to answer most questions.
You have a new PCP since your old guy left, your not attached to him yet so switch. Find someone who is supportive of your decision and go.
Get educated about surgery and pray, decide what is right for you and keep your head up. This board is a wonderful way to learn lots of things about surgery and we are glad to have you.
Jeannie
This is not a race no sense in trying to do too much at once and overwhelm yourself. Getting all the paperwork in line is a process that can be very frustrating. Sometimes you will be told stuff has been faxed when it really hasn't so stay on top of things and make sure you follow up.
My mom went to the orientation soon after I did to see about wls for herself. Her blood pressure got so high while she was there that they had to call my Dad and have him come and get her. It was not right for her, for me it was my only decison left. Its personal and definately not for everyone. I decided not to tell too many folks, I only shared with my best friend and few close family memebers. My mind was made up so I just didn't want to deal with any negativity while I went through the whole process. Once I had been approved and had a surgery date I told more people, by that time I was highly educated on the surgery too and able to answer most questions.
You have a new PCP since your old guy left, your not attached to him yet so switch. Find someone who is supportive of your decision and go.
Get educated about surgery and pray, decide what is right for you and keep your head up. This board is a wonderful way to learn lots of things about surgery and we are glad to have you.
Jeannie
33 lbs lost prior to surgery!
I know the feeling hon. I had a random lady come up to me today in public and try to talk me out of it because she overheard a friend and I talking about it. She had surgery in the 80's and is having issues and just kept rolling her eyes when I said I had done the research, etc.
We are here for you, and you have to do what's best for you.
I will say that you mentioned a "food addiction", and you have to remember that surgery isn't going to cure that. Surgery is a tool that you have to work with. it doesn't do the work for you :) I highly recommend OA meetings :)
Stacy Walker
We are here for you, and you have to do what's best for you.
I will say that you mentioned a "food addiction", and you have to remember that surgery isn't going to cure that. Surgery is a tool that you have to work with. it doesn't do the work for you :) I highly recommend OA meetings :)
Stacy Walker
Janet,
It seems like everyone knows horror stories of someone they know who had the surgery and either gained all their weight back or had horrible problems. Most of the time, these folks don't know the whole story. I know a guy who gained all the weight back...one bag of M&M's at a time....3-4 bags a day...on top of bags of chips, plates of fries, boxes of pizza. I know a few people who died. But...by the time they have gastric bypass, their poor bodies were so worn out from the effects of obesity. And that was the killer...obesity. Not weight loss surgery.I also know people who had complicattions afterward. Speaking from personal experience, I would make the same decision. That extra weight was doing it's best to kill me.
BUT..that has to be a decision that each of has to make on our own. If you don't have surgery, it is YOU who will have to strugle with your weight. If you do have it, and if you have complications, it is YOU who will have to deal with those. It's not a magical cure. Anyone (even my M&M friend) can lose weight that first year post-op but if you don't make some lifestyle changes, you will regain the weight. Unfortunately, this surgery does not affect our brains. Only we can do that. Your food addictions? They will still be there. You have to work through those. Many people see a therapist before and/or after post-op to help them with this addiction.
With your paperwork, make a list of who all you need to get information from (I'd do it in excel). Indicate the date you contacted each of them AND who you talked to. Call them at least twice a wee****il you have the paperwork in hand. Then...put their name in a Paperwork Complete column and remove their name from the Paperwork Needed column. If you aproach this in an organized manner, it won't be nearly as stressful for you...and you'll be less likely to overlook someone.
If you need a referral from a pcp to get your insurance to accept you going to Dr. Inman, I'd switch. But...keep in mind that this new pcp doesn't know you. They have no clue as to how many efforts you have made to lose weight. They don't know (yet) if there is a hormone imbalance. Many pcp's are leary of weight loss surgeries (aka WLS) because of the complications they have seen us have afterwards. Since having mine, I've become hypo-gylcemic (opposite of a diabetic) and hypo-thyroid (on synthroid now). My endocrinologist considers both of these as post-WLS complications. I don't as I have had REAL post-WLS complications...lol. Remember that part of a doctors oath is to do no harm. They are just trying to be sure that it isn't a imbalance thing first.
Do you need to stick to a certain area in Indy because of job/transportation? If not, you might want to check out the south side of town.
Good luck..and welcome to the board...
Sherri
It seems like everyone knows horror stories of someone they know who had the surgery and either gained all their weight back or had horrible problems. Most of the time, these folks don't know the whole story. I know a guy who gained all the weight back...one bag of M&M's at a time....3-4 bags a day...on top of bags of chips, plates of fries, boxes of pizza. I know a few people who died. But...by the time they have gastric bypass, their poor bodies were so worn out from the effects of obesity. And that was the killer...obesity. Not weight loss surgery.I also know people who had complicattions afterward. Speaking from personal experience, I would make the same decision. That extra weight was doing it's best to kill me.
BUT..that has to be a decision that each of has to make on our own. If you don't have surgery, it is YOU who will have to strugle with your weight. If you do have it, and if you have complications, it is YOU who will have to deal with those. It's not a magical cure. Anyone (even my M&M friend) can lose weight that first year post-op but if you don't make some lifestyle changes, you will regain the weight. Unfortunately, this surgery does not affect our brains. Only we can do that. Your food addictions? They will still be there. You have to work through those. Many people see a therapist before and/or after post-op to help them with this addiction.
With your paperwork, make a list of who all you need to get information from (I'd do it in excel). Indicate the date you contacted each of them AND who you talked to. Call them at least twice a wee****il you have the paperwork in hand. Then...put their name in a Paperwork Complete column and remove their name from the Paperwork Needed column. If you aproach this in an organized manner, it won't be nearly as stressful for you...and you'll be less likely to overlook someone.
If you need a referral from a pcp to get your insurance to accept you going to Dr. Inman, I'd switch. But...keep in mind that this new pcp doesn't know you. They have no clue as to how many efforts you have made to lose weight. They don't know (yet) if there is a hormone imbalance. Many pcp's are leary of weight loss surgeries (aka WLS) because of the complications they have seen us have afterwards. Since having mine, I've become hypo-gylcemic (opposite of a diabetic) and hypo-thyroid (on synthroid now). My endocrinologist considers both of these as post-WLS complications. I don't as I have had REAL post-WLS complications...lol. Remember that part of a doctors oath is to do no harm. They are just trying to be sure that it isn't a imbalance thing first.
Do you need to stick to a certain area in Indy because of job/transportation? If not, you might want to check out the south side of town.
Good luck..and welcome to the board...
Sherri
AT GOAL!!
http://www.myspace.com/sweetsherri61
Never allow someone to be your Priority while allowing yourself to be their Option......
Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes It's Hell in the Hallway...
Thanks everyone for your advice. The reason I would like to stay in the downtown/broad ripple/meridian kessler/fountain square/irvington area is because a) i'm single b) i moved here after living in chicago for 6 years and most of indianapolis, while nice, is too suburban for me c) i'm "artsy" and there are more of the cultural things that i like around those areas. d)its where my friends live.
I know I care to much about what other people think, but you all are right, in my heart, I know what is right for myself and I need to believe that I know what is best for me. I have seen what being really obese does to a body when it ages...my mother, my aunt, uncle, and dad are all various levels of being obese and I know the health problems they have. I would like to have the best chance to avoid those problems, and that is by being at a normal weight.
I fully understand that this surgery is not going to cure my food addictions, I've been going to a therapist weekly for the past 6 months to work through those issues and my severe depression. going to the consultation was sort of like the culmination of all the work i have been doing on myself this year. i will continue to see her and the psychiatrist after the surgery if I do have it.
I just feel very overwhelmed, and a lot happened this week that kindof sent me over the edge. I'm a really type A person. I like to have things very cut and dry, and when I can't control the situation (ie with the doctor's offices not calling me back) I get super frustrated! there is just a lot going on.
Thank you again for offering all of your experiences and advice. I really appreciate it. I know I was just complaining and feeling sorry for myself when I posted, so I thank all of you for being so helpful!
-Janet
I know I care to much about what other people think, but you all are right, in my heart, I know what is right for myself and I need to believe that I know what is best for me. I have seen what being really obese does to a body when it ages...my mother, my aunt, uncle, and dad are all various levels of being obese and I know the health problems they have. I would like to have the best chance to avoid those problems, and that is by being at a normal weight.
I fully understand that this surgery is not going to cure my food addictions, I've been going to a therapist weekly for the past 6 months to work through those issues and my severe depression. going to the consultation was sort of like the culmination of all the work i have been doing on myself this year. i will continue to see her and the psychiatrist after the surgery if I do have it.
I just feel very overwhelmed, and a lot happened this week that kindof sent me over the edge. I'm a really type A person. I like to have things very cut and dry, and when I can't control the situation (ie with the doctor's offices not calling me back) I get super frustrated! there is just a lot going on.
Thank you again for offering all of your experiences and advice. I really appreciate it. I know I was just complaining and feeling sorry for myself when I posted, so I thank all of you for being so helpful!
-Janet
from what i remember...the ones that were so against my taking the EASY WAY OUT....heck one jumped so fast she had surgery before i did....lol...and one lost their weight on their own only to regain and have surgery...............DO NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE i was so over hearing horror stories i would stop them in their mid sentence, i was so over it and i would say this is my choice...i researched this for a few years wore out this site....fought my ins company....anyone who thinks this is the easy way out, needs brain surgery to begin with...bitter people is all i know...i can see some concern, but the on and on of it, no thanks i did not need it....i knew it was the right thing for me..
I would say get rid of your big plates and stock up on baby spoons and forks from walmart....use to find them at walmart for like 1.00 a package...
I would say get rid of your big plates and stock up on baby spoons and forks from walmart....use to find them at walmart for like 1.00 a package...
Janet,
be persistant girl!!! i know all the paperwork can be a pain in the @ss, but don't give up... i worked on having my WLS for SEVEN...yes SEVEN years and i had to overcome alot to finally have it...
i just had it this past monday and all the BS was worth it in the end...
you make this decision for YOU, not for you mother or your friends....it's YOU that wants to live a good life....
many ppl fear what they don't understand and you will come across those that are just jealous too...
soooooooo
you think about YOU!!!
hugs
p
be persistant girl!!! i know all the paperwork can be a pain in the @ss, but don't give up... i worked on having my WLS for SEVEN...yes SEVEN years and i had to overcome alot to finally have it...
i just had it this past monday and all the BS was worth it in the end...
you make this decision for YOU, not for you mother or your friends....it's YOU that wants to live a good life....
many ppl fear what they don't understand and you will come across those that are just jealous too...
soooooooo
you think about YOU!!!
hugs
p
pam 
"sometimes at night, i see their faces, i feel the traces they left on my soul.
those are the memories that made me a wealthy soul."
Bob Seger
1976
"sometimes at night, i see their faces, i feel the traces they left on my soul.
those are the memories that made me a wealthy soul."
Bob Seger
1976
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