Thx Secret Santa and Update

I got my little button and card from my Secret Santa!! YOU DON"T KNOW HOW MUCH THAT MEANT THAT DAY!! SO THanks!!

I haven't been on posting much simply because my life has been a chaotic mess. i have made some difficult and hard choices the past two weeks but they are choices that I feel are going to better my life. My husband and I have decided (or I say I shall decided he's still not got the whole jury in on this yet) that we are going to get a divorce. He is FINALLY wanting to try but it's too little too late. I've been trying for 8 years with a complacent man that didn't care enough about me to listen to what I had to say. I finally told him I had had enough and moved out and now all the sudden he sees the light. Well the light was dim for too long because I'm done. I feel nothing for him and I'm finished. I have realized that we are two very different people, that he has treated me very harshly over the past 8 years and of which some of the things he's done I can't forgive him for. I know God doens't endorse divorce ever, but I also don't think God intends for me to be unhappy for the rest of my life and that is what is going ot happen if i stay with my husband. He's really good at talking the talk but he never walks the walk and this time the talk isn't working. So I'm in the process of making all those changes so I can get my life and his in order to go our separate ways. I hope that we can remain friends because we have been together for 10 years and he is my best friend but I know that realistically that probably won't happen. I also start Grad School in 2 weeks and I've been preparing for that as well. I've been under a lot of stress... But doing well with it really. I feel a sense of relief about the divorce. I haven't cried once... what does all that mean? I don't know... I just know that it's time...

I am going to catch up on all the goings on and I hope all is well with everyone else.

I AM VERY SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT THIS BUT THEN ONE MUST DO WHAT IS BEST FOR THEM . IF YOU NED ANYTHING PLEASE LET ME KNOW REMEMBER THAT JIM AND I ARE BOTH HERE FOR YOU.  I AM GLAD YOU FEEL THAT WE ARE FAMILY ENOUGH TO SHARE WHATS GOING ON WITH YOUR LIFE. I THINK ( HOPE ) I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE HERE IN SAYING WE ARE FAMILY AND FAMILY IS VERY IMPORTANT IN TIMES LIKE THESE. WE SHARE OUR MEDICAL PROBLEMS AS WELL AS OUR PERSONAL PROBLEMS AND KNOWING THAT WE CARE CAN SOMETIMES MAKE THINGS A BIT BETTER. LIKE I SAID IF YOU NEED ANYTHING YOU KNOW MY NUMBER AND WHERE I LIVE. WE LOVE YOU HUN VICKI

Thank you Vicki!! You don't know how much I appreciate it.. :hugs:

This is not the forum to talk about divorce.  I will pray that you are able to see what God has in store for you.  I hope to get a chance to chat at you sometime.  I wanted to chat at the clothing exchange but both of us always seemed to be busy and talking with others. I sure don't want to give the indication that I know it all and you did say God does not like divorce which is true. Very few men are open to the needs and desires of their spouse.  We [men] are selfish and self centered and if we can ignore it we will. Grad school will bring great pressure on you.  I am concerned that you doing Grad school on your own will over task you. Becky and I will keep you in our prayers and would love to chat with you and be your friends.  We live on the west side of Indy and could meet for dinner with you. Please allow us to reach out and certainly not to judge but to get you to laugh to cry and to relax. God Bless E

E thanks! I have a great support system with my family and Grad school will be a relief (I love school i'm a big nerd) it will definitely take mymind off of things...

Dinner would be great sometime.

Jessyca

Dear Jess, You knows what best for you than you. Sometimes, divorce is the only way to go . And if you both agree to become just friends thats ok. The next level was just not there. You are going back school thats great. Sometimes we just fall out of love and the only why to fix it is to be apart. I hope you know I am here if you need to talk. And you what ? I didn't cry either, I  did most of the crying all years the marriage. I was all cried out. Love you, Hugs & blessings, Gail

Yeah Gail I think I'm all cried out... I think i'm past the point of tears and just ready to move on... Thanks I appreciate it! :hugs:

Jessyca, I too knew that it was over when there were no more tears. I personally don't feel like God is going to hold it against me because I removed a poison from my life. And more than once. Bill is my 4th husband. I don't think God expected me to put up with drug abuse or spousal abuse. I think God may have been disappointed that I wasn't wise enough to see it before I married...but as they say, better late than never. I know you'll be able to make it through Grad school or whatever you set your mind to. When I divorced #2, I eventually went back to school...with having 2 kids under 6 yrs old, plus worked part time (tutored & sat with an elderly woman). I made it...and you can too! Besides...you have all of us here rooting you on..that is something I didn't have in my life. Sherri

Thank you Sherri I appreciate it!!

Jessyca, I am happy to hear that you are returning to school! I hope that all is well for you with that choice and wish you the best! Divorce is a hard decision to come upon, but I truly believe that one knows when it has been enough! I have been divorced and it was not easy but I have overcome that and was able to make some better choices for myself which has let me be able to enjoy the family that I have now, with my husband and son! I was not able to stay friends with my ex, but then again, I wasn't really wanting to, to be honest! I wish you the best in all of the new decisions and choices that you are making and hope that you can stand tall and be proud of who you are wanting to be and becoming! You are definately on a new journey- you may face some bumps and challenges- you are used to that, but know that we/I are here for ya! Hugz  Dawn