Chuckle for the day!

Thougth these would put a smile on your face!  Hugs! Marianne WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.     Keep  reading-they get better!!!        WOMEN'S  REVENGE > "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding> items the woman wished to > purchase > As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote> control for a televi sion > set in her purse. > "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. > "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come> shopping with me, and I > figured this was the most evil thing I could do to> him legally."   UNDERSTANDING  WOMEN  (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) > I know I'm not going to understand women. > I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, > pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by> the  root, and still be afraid of a spider.   MARRIAGE  SEMINAR > While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with> communication, Tom and his > wife Grace listened to the instructor: "It is> essential that husbands and > wives know each other's likes and dislikes." > He addressed the man: "Can > you name your wife's favorite flower?" > Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and> whispered, "It's  Pillsbury, isn't it?   CIGARETTES  AND TAMPONS > A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down> the aisles. > The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can> help him. > He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons> for his wife. > She directs him down the correct aisle. > A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of > cotton balls > and a ball of string on the counter. > She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were> looking for some tampons for > your wife? > He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I> sent my wife to the > store > to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back> with a tin of tobacco > and > some ro lling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo> much cheaper. > So, I figure if I have to roll my own ......... so> does she. > (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)     WIFE VS. > HUSBAND > A couple drove down a country road for several> miles, not saying a word. > An earlier discussion had led to an argument and> neither of them wanted to > concede their position. > As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and> pigs, the husband asked > sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" > "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."   WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about howmany words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"   CREATION A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. "The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you.      WHO DOES WHAT ? A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and  then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can justwait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides,it is in the Bible that   the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says "HEBREWS"     The  Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning businessflight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence(and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she  would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn' t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. >  God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece