OT SON

Hi Everyone,
I hope I won't get to much flamming, but I need to vent my anger to my friends. Well most of you know
I have only one son, Randy. I've been trying to get ahold of him for a couple of days now. Well he finally called me about an hour ago, he told me he got married this
morning. I hate the person he married, she's nothing but a lair, cheat, and thief. He was involved with this person whenhe was 16-17 and she got him into
"cutting" (where you cut tourself to get a high), stealing for her, girl panties, ect., running away from home. He left that situation and went to Iowa to live for awhile.
He came back from Iowa 5 months ago and was
involved with another person when he came back.
I found out from him that he has been seeing this person for three months as "friends". Then he woke up this morning and got married to this person. Yes, I told him "get your **** together" but that didn't include
marrying this piticular girl. I just meant for him to find a job and support himself. I told him this is what I meant.
He's not mature enough to care for himself let alone a wife. He's 20 almost 21. I know I can't run his life, but this totally took me and my parents by surprise. I'll gladly take any advise from any of you. Please help

Lorri, I know you don't want to hear this but sometimes all you can do is distance yourself from situations and leave it in God's hands. He's over 18 and there's only so much you can do. Trust me, I'd like to shake some sence into my son too! You just have to try to be patient and wait for maturity to come knocking on their door.  My son is 24..I'm still waiting. I had really thought that his bout with testicular cancer back in February would had woke him up, but so far, no evidence of that. It'll happen someday but in the meantime, Mom isn't supporting, nor excusing him and his laziness. If he does without, he does with out. I figure if he wants something bad enough, he'll go get a job and earn the money to get it. The only thing I can say for Jay is at least he hasn't married Alisha...and I hope he never does. huggs.. Sherri

At first I thought What... he married my DIL?? My youngest son has a wonderful head on his shoulders except when it came to my DIL.. she is the baby of her family and NEVER wants to grow up.. even after 2 kids she now has started having an affair and doesnt want to get a divorce because she can have her cake and eat it too... Sweetie you arent the first Mother with these problems and you wont be the last.. darn it.. but as long as we hang together and vent.. we dont interfere in their decisions.... and can still be liked by them after they grow up... Linda Kay

I KNOW HOW IT IS TO HAVE A CHILD THAT DOES SOMETHING STUPID BUT AS A PARENT ALL WE CAN DO IS SUPPORT THEM WITH OUR LOVE NOT OUR MONEY. HE IS OF AGE AND WILL HAVE TO LEARN FROM HIM OWN MISTAKES, JUST PRAY THAT HE DONT FIND OUT TO LATE THAT HE NEEDS TO GET HIS LIFE TOGETHER.

PERFECT EXAMPLE WE HAVE JIMS OLDEST SON LIVING WITH US WORKING PART TIME AT BURGER KING, WITH NO AMBITION TO IMPROVE HIMSELF. HE HAS BEEN TOLD HE NEEDS TO GET A BETTER JOB AND THINK ABOUT MAKING HIS OWN LIFE IN THIS WORLD BUT HE JUST DOESNT GET IT. NOW I AM NOT A MEAN PERSON BY ANY MEANS BUT I AM NOT ABOVE PUTTING HIM OUT AND FORCING HIM TO GROW UP. I THINK I DEAL WITH IT MORE FROM HIS SON THAN I WOULD HAVE FROM MY GIRLS ONLY BECAUSE OF JIM AND THE LIFE THEY HAD BEFORE M EBUT ON THE OTHER HAND ITS TIME FOR THE APRON STRINGS TO BE CUT.  BUT I WILL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS AND HOPE ALL WORKS OUT FOR HIM AND THE LIFE HE HAS PICKED

I ALWAYS SAY AS LONG AS THE KIDS ARE HAPPY I WONT SAY A WORD. AND NEVER WILL I SAY " I TOLD YOU SO " GOOD LUCK AND IF YOU NEED TO TALK WE ALL ARE ALWAYS HERE.  VICKI

I hate to mention this but when your mind is understress.. well it hangs onto every calorie it can.. it stores fat thinking you are in trouble...One of the reasons we can not harbor grudges or stay angry...added calories are not our friend.. What will be will be.. we may not like it but we may be needed to help pick up the pieces of a shattered life later..Like I am doing now..Prayer... Is it possible you could be in a future grandma position?? Dont cut any ties... there is not much better than being a grandma..IF she is in that condition... Linda Kay