Re-post Emotional eating affects on me

I posted this in respose to a pre-ops post about questions to consider before surgery.  What do you all think of this, especially post-ops, has the emotional part of this surgery been hard for you?

 The relationship with food, is definately one that needs to be explored, before surgery.  When I had my surgery St. V's classes focused on aftercare.  No one ever mentioned that I may have emotional issues after.  I never realized how much I used food as my "drug".  I ate when I was happy, sad, frustrated, angry, stressed out , bored and especially at night when I couldn't sleep.  I used food as an escape.  The fact that I can't use food to cope with life, has been my biggest problem since surgery.  People always said  I was laid back, easy going, always helpful, never wanted confrontations.  Well that was because I could eat it all away.  Now I can't and I'm having to deal with issues that upset me, make me angry, stress me out.  People that have known me for a long time, say I've changed.  I tend to say what I think now, which doesn't go over well, when I've always been the "get along" kind of girl.  I have had terrible issues with insomnia since surgery.  I started to take ambien, and involuntarily got in my truck at 3:30 in the morning and hit a pole.  No more ambien for me.  I'm going to counseling now, have done it in the past, but now without food I have to learn new ways to cope, to handle stress.  The weight loss part has been easy for me.  I'm under goal,  a "success" story.  The emotional part has been hard.  I look at before pictures of me.  I was miserable because I was so heavy, but I was happy, life was good.  Now, I'm proud of my weight loss and don't want to go back to the old self, but learning to live with the new self is hard.   Again this is just me and my experience.  I don't here much about the emotional sides to WLS very often.  I used to laugh when I heard people talking about transfer of addictions.  I kind of did that with the Ambien.  I am not taking anything to alter my mood or to help with insomnia now.  I am facing all my "stuff" head on.  I didn't realize I had any "stuff" to work on before surgery.  I was so wrong.   If anyone asks me if I've had any complications, I am truthful.  I tell them "not pysically, but emotionally its been rough".  I think its important that pre-ops know this.  It isn't a "fun ride" all the time.  If you deal with emotional eating get help before surgery.  If your not sure if you do, start checking, become aware of when you eat and why.    Would I do it all over?  Some days I do think, man it was easier to live in a heavy body and not deal with life, but it wasn't fair to me, my family, or anyone I deal with.  People are just going to have to learn to live with the new me, like it or not.  I have to learn to live with the new me.  The old easy going, helpful, do anything for anyone, Sarah is gone.  The new " I need this, that is not o.k., stop, I don't want to hear all your problems, doesn't take crap from anyone" Sarah is here.    Thi****s all areas of my life, friends, family, job.  I have to find a happy medium.  I'm working on it.   My family has been really supportive, thank heaven for them.  i couldn't have made it through this without them.  Would I do it again? Yes Sarah  

Sarah You said that so wonderfully. I too think that the hardest part of this is realizing your emotional issues of eating. I knew i was an emotional eater beforehand and went through therapy for 4-5 months before hand. I faced ALOT of issues before surgery. I still face different ones now but thankfully I have tools that help me get through those times. And I think that maybe one of the hardest things that people that are prepping for this need to realize is that food is their drug of choice they just don't realize it. Go on with your bad self girl an take care of you... Being assertive is very healthy and I'm glad that you're becoming the "real" Sarah...

God Bless

 I have to agree ~ the emotional part is what started my journey to Obesity.  Thank God for good Christian councilors who helped me over the past 10+ yrs! I had a horrible childhood ( physical, verbal ,sexual abuse~ one that I worked hard on forgiving & was able to let go of . I was able to truly love & enjoy my parents for 2 yrs. before they both passed away-17 days apart).I never knew what it was like not to be the "protect yourself at all costs, easy going/don't rock the boat, let others walk all over you- it's ok, you deserve it-NOT!!" kind of person who never spoke up or out for fear of reprecussions.  With alot of support form myDH, family, true friends & Church family, I have worked hard on re-inventing &  finding myslef, the person God created, & meant me to be. It hasn't been a smooth or easy road to hoe. I have hurt feelings, lost friendships/relationships, let go of disfuntional family members  & people who  always want me to "fix their problem / get involved in the latest DRAMA." I have learned what true acceptance & forgiveness is- first to myself & then to others.For me, it was/is worth every tear, every heartache, every step from a disfunctional, emotional eater, to a healthy ,vital person who truly CARES about themselves and does whats needed to be done to be that REAL me! I could post for Hrs. about this- but want to say IT IS WORTH EVERY EFFORT, & SACRIFICE YOU DO- THE END RESULTS IS FINDING "U"-  the UNIQUE person you were meant to be!!! (((hugs))) Ellen  

Oprah had a show on this months ago... addiction transfer.  I was on another board and I remember how people were so upset that she would imply just because you had WLS you could become an alcoholic.  They thought she was picking on people for taking the easy way out instead of working out and eating right.... like she did.  But I think it has some merit. 

Does it make sense if I tell you I have no idea why I eat yet?  Right now, I think I'm just hungry all of the time.  But I wonder what will happen after surgery.  When I'm not "hungry" all of the time.  Did you know how you were using food before surgery?  It would not surprise me if I find I have tons of issues I will need to deal with once my food intake is drastically reduced.  I mean, I know now what my issues are, I just think I'm pretty good at dealing with them. 

I liked your post and its good for people to know before WLS that they need to watch for this.  Its important to have supportive family and friends to lean on.  It sounds like you do. 

Very insightful Sarah!!

AMEN! I look at my Avatar picture and say that is me.  I see the new me and pictures and am not ready to except that this is now me. I guess that is why people gain weight back.  It is a radical change becauseof the surgery but a constant mental change only happens if you make it happen. I struggle at work with what I now call idiots!  They haven't changed but I have and I don't go along with the crowd. More oftwen then not I express my ideas. I am only 4 months out and stressed over maintaining a good lifestyle.  I see others that eat 3 and 4 pieces of pizza at 1-2 years out and say no wonder they don't look like they had the surgery. The tons of people thjat come to support groups because they have to and then you never see them again after the surgery.  Support group keeps me going.  The attaboys and girls that is passed around helps.

This is the aspect of the surgery that is not discussed as much as it should be. (If you've heard this before feel free to skip it) My insurance company (M-Plan) required that I go to food addiction counseling as a condition of them paying for the surgery.  I did not want to go.  I only went because I had to. It was the best thing that could have happened.  I discovered "why" I ate.  I discovered "what" to do with emotions.  I learned "how" to deal with the fat me and the thin me. I am so thankful for the counseling.  I believe it is the reason for my success. 

Whether your insurance company requires it or not - it is worth the trouble.  Most insurance plans will pay for it under its mental health coverage.