Telling family that I am going to have WLS

As I get closer to being approved for WLS, I am also getting closer to having to tell my mom and sister that I am going to have WLS.  My friends, dad, stepmother and coworkers all already know, but I have not told my mom or sister and don't plan to tell them until after I have a surgery date scheduled.  My relationship with my mom is difficult--I often feel judged and critiqued by her--also she has made several negative comments about WLS in the past when talking about a friend of hers that had it.  I don't plan on actually telling my sister--my mom will run (not walk--literally RUN) to the phone to tell my sister after I tell my mom, so I am not worried about that.  I don't want to be at my mom's or have her at my house when I tell her because I need an established time frame and when we visit each other there rarely is so I was thinking about telling her over a meal at a restaurant, but then I face the obstacle of being critiqued on what I am eating.   Any advice on how to tell her, where to tell her, etc would be SO greatly appreciated!  How do I bring the subject up?  What do I say when she asks why I didn't tell her sooner and when she asks if Dad knew before her?  HELP!

Maddie... Oh how difficult of a situation..I am so sorry you dont have the support from your mom and sister..is it a possiblity of writing her a very compassionate letter and also include your feelings about your relationship and how you feel she views you??? She may just need a rude awakening... It is great however that you have your other family behind you 100% take the support and hold on!!! Lisa K

FIRST AND FOR MOST REMEMBER YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR YOUR HEALTH NOT FOR ANY OTHER REASON AND IF YOU CAN SIT AND EXPLAIN THIS TO THEM IT MIGHT HELP THEM TO UNDERSTAND AND IF THEY DONT THEY ARE THE ONES NEEDS DEAL WITH IT. I HAD SOME OF THE SAME ISSUES WITH MY MOTHER SHE DIDNT UNDERSTAND TILL I TOLD HER THAT IF I DIDNT HAVE IT I MIGHT DIE WITH IN THE NEXT FEW YEARS. GAVE HER SOME INFO TO READ AND LEFT IT AT THAT. I FEEL FOR YOU AND UNDERSTAND HOW IT IS TO HAVE THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE. BUT SEEMS YOU HAVE A LOT OF PEOPLE ALREADY BEHIND YOU AND THAT WILL HELP YOU DEAL WITH IT. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS VICKI

I wouldn't tell her until I had the surgery date. You'll probably have to hear about it up until you have the surgery, and it's hard to have to deal with that on top of the stress of waiting. Maybe take her to one of the pre op meetings that St. V has. Dr. Evanson gave such a great talk about obesity being a disease. That would probably be a better way to tell her than over a meal. Bombard her with information. Make sure she knows you are trying to save your own life.

Have her meet you at a park... Go on a walk and bring a light snack if hungry... Show her you are ready for this... What is there for her to be mad about??You are going to be HEALTHY!! Yes, there are side effects to the surgery, but there are worse things that can happen if you are overweight... I wish you luck... I am lucky because my mom already had this surgery so she is supportive of me... Dont let your mom and sis get you down... Tell them if they dont love you for who you are and what you want to do then sorry... but this is something you have got to do not only for you but your health!

tell her you are doing something for you....this is all about you....and tell her you were not sure how she would take the news.....but this is all about you...you have done a great deal of looking into this and thinking and wondering if it was for you ....its all about you.....and being a loser....so you can  be my loser friend,,,,