I am just plain scared

Hi, I have read all of your posts for a couple of months, I Have read back posts and have found answers to most of my questions. Now my surgery is just a few days away, Tuesday and I am so scared. I guess what bothers me most is that it seems that everyone that posts prior to surgery does not seem to be nervous, they just say things like they are excited about starting on the loosing side and that they are so anxious to be done. I am kind of afraid to be going through this. I am afraid of the surgery, I have only met Dr. Gupta once, she seemed nice and competent. I have had all the pre op stuff of course and I am sure she has gone through all my pre op stuff or I am sure that she will. I don't know, just wi**** was over with. I hope that it all goes smothly prior to surgery, what will they do? Have they already determined that I am a good candidate? Are my EKG and blood work all OK? did anyone else ever feel afraid before surgery, am I maybe just making a mistake. Instead off feeling lucky that I have this opportunity, I feel ashamed that I have gotten to this point. I have sure tried everything else throughout my life, the whole diet roller coaster for years and years. I don't know, I guess I am just looking for some reassurance. thank you, post-ops for the support that you have already provided and any support that you might have now. Beth

Beth, Its perfectly normal to be nervious. I wish u all the best and you do have a great Dr and will be in good hands. You couldnt be having it done at a better hospital. Dr Gupta wasnt my dr but I have talked with her on the phone. I think all the women in that group are excellent drs. Having this surgery was the best thing I ever did. Im sure in 10 months u will be saying the same thing. Sometimes those first few months can be very hard. I personally have not had any physical problems but its still been an emotional rollercoaster but weighting 400 lbs and not having a Life was no picnic either. I'll take my raging crazy hormones over not having the energy to get out of my chair and walk to the bed anyday!!! Im riding my bike for an hr everyday...I would have never thought I could do that 10 months ago....I would have been short of breathe just thinking about it. Pamela

Beth.. we were all scared of the unknown.. We were excited that the chance we had been waiting for for so long had finally come but Yea, we were scared.. It is normal.. I am scared of needles (IV's) I am always afraid they are going to hurt like they did 20 years ago.. but the needles are so much smaller and actually sharp enough to penatrate than they were it seems.. Pain, yea, we went thru that too but like Mariah said, what we went thru was worth it.. I havent had any horrible issues with my surgery ether.. I feel like I get kicked in the stomach sometimes but that is from eatting to fast, eatting to dry, or eatting to much.., or to big of a bite.. We learn and adapt.. I actually weedeatted the entire acre and a half of my yard yesterday..BY MY SELF!!! That is something I couldnt have done.. and wouldnt have tried in the past.. Its ok to be worried but you DO have a good Dr. and I had only met mine once too but did well.. she is in the same group of Dr.s Linda

Beth, Dr. Gupta was/is my surgeon. I think she's the greatest. I did have complications but none of them were due to any incompetence on her part...just my body being stupid. And Dr. Gupta has gotten me through every one of them. If I had to do it all over again, I would, and I would with her being my surgeon. You cannot know ahead of time if your body is going to be complication free or not. No one can. So yes, there is an element of fear of the unknown. But that is also why they call them 'risks'. There is a risk you may have complications. BUT...'risk' also means that it is a very small portion of people who experience it (otherwise, it would be called 'side effect'). The best you or anyone else can do is acknowledge the fact that risks happen and that they may happen to you, and then ask yourself 'would dealing with any risk be better than what I am dealing with now?'. I would never advise anyone to ignore surgical risks. Notice: I did say 'surgical' because many of the 'risks' are risks regardless of what surgery you have...even if your appendix burst or your gall bladder quit (would you NOT have those life-saving surgeries because of fear of the surgical risks?). It is never a good idea to stick your head in the sand and say 'it won't happen to me'. On the other hand....just as in my example of the appendix, at some point you have to have faith that your surgeon will do their ever-loving best for you and that everything will be fine. As the axom goes 'Prepare for the worst, hope for the best'. So..what the heck do you do now...pre-op???? Many people 'prepare for the worst' by writing letters to their loved ones. In the letters, they explain why they chose to have the surgery (medical/physical issues) and what they hope to get out of it (ability to see kids grow up, play with grandkids, fit in a corvette, etc). They also use these letters as a way of saying 'good-bye' just in case the absolute worst outcome occurs. These letters are given to someone they trust who is instructed that none of them are opened unless you don't make it. I did not do the letters. Now, assume (and this is a great time to assume this!!) that the surgery goes well. Prepare yourself mentally now for what you will go through then...head hunger! These last few days, as you eat your old stand-by favorites, explain to that food why it cannot remain your friend any longer. You will find that the more you explain, the more you realize why this surgery is good for you. This will also serve as a food funeral. Sound silly? Food has been your best friend for years. It no longer can remain that way. The best way to ensure that? Consider that friend dead...and bury it by telling it good-bye. This I did do and have advised many to do. My favorite was a Rally's deep sea double fish sandwich along with an extra large order or their seasoned fried and a banana shake. I have not had the slightest desire to pull into a Rally's parking lot. I am 2 yr 8months post-op. Dr. Gupta and St. Vincent are wonderful. You are in terrific hands. Please feel free to post on here as much as you'd like. When we have get togethers, please join us. The more you can be around others who have gone through what you are going through, the better you will feel. You are not alone in this. And you are far from the only person who has gone through it...no matter what 'it' may be. Do not feel ashamed. Diets do not work. Period. We have all been there. We do call ourselves the Hoosier Losers...but that is for weight loss. In all other ways, we are all winners! And you will be too come Tuesday! Sherri

It's normal to be scared. Hey if any of your tests show anything they well contact you and get it checked out. So no news is good news. As far as meeting your surgeon goes, I met mine at the initial conference 1 time at St. V before surgery, then not again till just before we went into surgery. The surgeons at St. V are all great and have a great support and back up systems. You'll be in good hands there. As you will here from about everyone on here. This surgery is the best thing we have ever done for ourselves. I'd do it again in a heart beat. It was reading comments like that on here before surgery that gave me the confidence not to be afraid. Another point is that a positive attitude is very important to healing. The mind is an amazing thing and I feel that if I believe I can do something I can do it. Be confidant that what you are doing is going to make you a healthier and stronger person. We have a nice support group in Ft. Wayne. If you haven't been to one of our meetings yet I hope to see you there soon. Good luck!

Beth, I have heard good things about Dr. Gupta. I think you should know, you are perfectly normal to be scared. I was excited about surgery, but also scared too. It's a big step! Just the idea of surgery is scary, and then there's life after surgery, it's an unknown for you now, and unknowns can certainly be fear-provoking. I think it would be a little odd to not have any fears or concerns prior to such an event. Linda Vicory

Hi Beth, I was excited and scaired also. But I just kept thinking about all the cute clothes and stuff I could do after that I couldn't do before. You are in good hands so best wishes and don't forget to get on here first thing you can after the surgery and let us know how you are doing. I didn't have much pain at all. I didn't have to take any pain meds when I can home except at night. I will keep you in my prayers. Hugz, Alice