My rebirthday has come and gone

Hello Everyone. My rebirthday came and went last Saturday. I have held off posting, if you've read Carmen's post you may understand why: I don't have a huge list of "great" changes. It isn't that I haven't had good changes, they have just been more subtle for me. I'm not yet at goal, still about 37 lbs to go. As a matter of fact, I'm just now coming off of a 6 month plateau. (I did loose 2.8 lbs last week, the first weight loss in 6 months! YEAH!!) I am off of my diabetes medicine, but have been ever since I came home from the hospital, so it kind of feels like old news to me (I'm used to it now). That doesn't mean that I am not thankful, believe me, I am! I can move around much better, don't have the lower back pain that came with any type of yardwork and that sort of thing. Again, it isn't that I'm not happy about these things. I guess it is just that as I've gotten "better", I've also inherited more responsibilities. Consequently, I don't feel that extra energy that I know I have now (I must, because I'm able to handle these extras and I don't think I could have before losing 78.8 lbs!). So, much like my regular birthdays, I've grown a little complacent about all of the changes that are occurring. It kind of seems like my life has moved into overdrive. The year passed so quickly, my daughter just turned 6 yesterday, my son will be 13 in August. My job alternates between hectic deadlines and slowdowns on a weekly basis! I've read several rebirthday posts and feel like I'm missing something....like I've let something get past me without noticing it and it makes me sad. I'm sorry this is sounding so depressing. This is exactly why I've put off posting. My wls is the first truly selfish thing I've ever done. I didn't really do it to make sure I would be with my children or husband. I didn't do it so I could do housework or yardwork without pain (they're always a pain because I hate them both! ) I did it just for me. I wanted to feel better, be healthier just for me. Maybe that is why I feel like I've missed something. Because life has gotten in the way and forced me to take the focus off of me yet again. Oh well, life happens to everyone as all of you know only too well. Sherri with her son's problems over the last year, not to mention her husband's eye issues; Ellen with her daughter's issues; Dawn and her son; Dan with his back and neck pain. I won't even go into what Jennie Biggs has had to deal with! When I think of all that so many of you have had to go through, I know I sound very self absorbed. And for that I appologize. But even knowing that I really haven't had it all that bad, I'm still sitting here in tears as I type this. I don't know what I expected, but I just feel like I haven't gotten to quite where I thought I would be by now. Maybe I'm just a "late bloomer" and need a little more time to get where I need to be mentally in order to appreciate all that I have achieved physically. But I appreciate all of you very much. I am slow to make friends, but have really enjoyed meeting so many of you at the clothing exchanges, Sherri's Tub N Tea party and support groups. I look forward to seeing you all many more times in the future. I read your posts, both happy and sad, and it helps me to know that this is a neverending journey. Just because I'm not where I want to be today, doesn't mean I will never get there. You are all testimonies to that! Thanks for reading this extremely long post. And I wish you all a great day! Cindy

Cindy, I think we need to get together and cry in our beer together. I never did post at my 1 year date. For many of the same reasons. I've been so disappointed in how I've been doing for the last 6 months. I've only lost 7 pounds since January. I know I shouldn't complain- it is a loss after all. I can blame no one but my self. I've found that most foods don't bother me so although I don't eat much I do eat some things I shouldn't. I'm 15 months post op now and down 118. I'm 7 pounds from being in onerland and want so badly to be there by the time I got back to Indy in May for my next Dr. appt. I guess we just have to look back at how we felt before and how we would be feeling now if we hadn't accomplished what we have already. Things will get better. It is so nice to have this group to vent to. Who could understand us any better. I hope you will be at the clothing exchange. I haven't had the chance to meet you yet. I'm really kind of a quiet and shy person also. It is easier to get on here and put my thoughts down. I think a lot of us are kind of like that. It comes from so many years of being overweight and having no confindence in ourselves. I've suffered many years from low self esteem and it will take a long time to get over it. Just keep you eye on a goal and it will keep you going. I've found if I don't set a goal I don't work as hard.

Thanks Jan. Yes I plan on being at the clothing exchange. I look forward to meeting you too. I recently switched my follow-up care to the Clarian Bariatric group. I credit their nutritionist for breaking my plateau. It's not so much the advice she gave me (go back to protein first - 4 to 6 oz per meal - and veggies if I'm still hungry, the same if I want a snack, protein, then veggies). I probably would have gotten the same advice from the Community Hosp. Bariatric people if I would have asked them. It was the Clarian people's genuine caring attitudes. They made me feel comfortable enough to ask for help. I hope your weight loss revs up for you too and look forward to meeting at the clothing exchange. Cindy P.S. My weight loss last week was actually 3.2 lbs (I'm only an accountant, I can't subtract!

Cindy and Jan, I think you guys are doing better than you give yourself credit for. All those pounds lost are nothing to sneeze at. Please don't be so hard on yourselves. Keep moving forward! Linda Vicory

Thanks Linda. Most days I'm happy about all the changes. I guess I was just a little hormonal or something! Cindy

Cindy, Congratulations on your rebirthday. One thing I've learned about WLS is that people handle foods differently than others, certain smells affect people differently, and weight is lost differently. I know it's still hard not to get discouraged at times, but you've done great, look great, and have a great personality. I've really enjoyed seeing you every month and sure missed you last month. Hope to see you tonight since Brenda and I will be out of town for the clothing exchange. Floyd

Thank you Floyd. I missed going to the last support group, but will definitely be there tonight! I'll miss you and Brenda at the clothing exchange. Thank you again for all of the encouragement. Cindy

Cindy, I am so sorry that you are feeling so down! You have accomplished so much! It is ok to choose wls for yourself, it is about you! Yes, some of us also do it to be there longer for our children or to do things with the grandkids, etc, but the bottom line is we are all doing it for ourselves- to make us feel better, and be healthier! Still being around to share things with family and friends is all an added bonus to the accomplishments that we achieve by choosing this for ourselves!(OOHH that was long winded, I hope I am making sense!!!) Anyway, I too am shy, and feel that I can be more open here on the board! I however have enjoyed getting to know you at group as well at the tub and tea! You are a wonderful person, and deserve to feel the wonderful rewards of your accomplishments! Make a list- what have you lost? Can you name 3 or more things that you couldn't do before wls that you can enjoy now? You are eating healthier and going to support groups, helping your family with their choices as well, all of this counts! I hope that you are able to grasp anything out of my ramblings- I am so proud to call you a friend and hope that you know that I mean this from the bottom of my heart! You are worth doing things for and know that it is ok to be proud for choosing this for yourself! WE all have chose this for OURSELVES!!! WE deserve it!!!!~ Hope you have a great day! Happy late surgeriversary! Hugz Dawn See ya soon!

I too was a little disapointed on my one year birthday. I had hoped to be in onederland by then, but due to baby, had to work really hard to MAINTAIN my weight. NOthing more frustrating than 9 months of looking at the smae number on the scale (unless that number goes up of course). Some of us just have to take our sewwt time to get where we;re going. 37 pounds from goal is totally wonderful- and totally achievable. THink of how much more realistic is sounds to have to lose 37 pound instead of however many you needed to lose to get to goal to start with!

Thanks so much Dawn. I must say that I have felt so much better after getting this off my chest. I think, sometimes, I just need to "say it out loud" (so to speak) and I can't think of a better place than right here on this board. I have never met a more supportive and wonderful group of people any where. Darrah, I can appreciate your impatience. It is hard enough just waiting on your little one to arrive, let alone having your weight loss put on hold too. But at least she is here now and you should start shedding those pounds quickly! Thank you all again for all of your kind words of encouragement and support. You are truly a great bunch of people! I hope you have all had a wonderful day! Cindy