Thursday, the morning after

I had a horrible day yesterday. Just before I posted yesterday morning I found out a dear friend of mine died of lung cancer....what really sucked is she never smoked and she left children behind. I went home from work and tried to sleep but was having a really hard time. Then Andy came in and said the water heater was leaking so we had to go to Lowes and spend over $400 on a water heater....money I would have rather put into the new house instead of the old one. As we were leaving to go to Lowes I got the mail from the box on the way to the car and I had a letter from the job I was wanting that they went with someone that had much more experience than I have... Well after my friend dying the job loss didnt really bother me...after all whats more important !!! Well last night I returned to a few bad habits. I was feeling sorry for myself and eating crap I should never have been eating..but we didnt have any water so I went to long and I felt like I was starving...so then I just started inhaling everything insight and then I hated myself even more.....WHY DO I DO SUCH STUPID THINGS!!! Well Im off of work the next three nights and I have my 9 month follow up friday...so I sure hope the week ends up better than it was yesterday!!

Don't beat yourself up too hard, Mariah. It was a rough day to say the least, and even tho we're post op, we're still learning a lifestyle change. At least now when we inhale food its not nearly the volume we once would have. At least now we can recognize the problem and move on. That really sucks about the job and your friend. I wonder/worry about that happening to me. I dont smoke, never did, but I grew up in a heavy smoking house, my brother smokes, a lot of my friends smoke. It would just be too ironic that I'd be the one to end up with it. Perhaps you'll find an even better job, tho prolly not as close as 2 miles. And it REALLY sucks to have to replace the water heater NOW of all times. I'm exhausted from being up all night with Gwyn. She still has her days and nights mixed up. Getting ready to take my ibuprofen and head to bed myself. It's amazing how something can kick you from the inside (which I miss terribly), require you to have stiches in places you didnt even want to think about, cause you to cry in pain for 20 minutes after everytime you pee, keep you up all night, require constant feeding/changing/consoling.... and you dont even mind because you love it so much.

Isnt she a beauty!!! THANK you for shareing... not that we dont like seeing your pretty face but come on ya got to admit it... she does have a special charm about her... :smile: We ALL do stupid stuff.. (except maybe Julie) (she still hasnt tasted sugar after 2 years), The thing like you said we dont do stupid in as big a volume but we can wait a half hour and do stupid again... I have started walking every break up and down in front of the government center and on Lunch I walk around the building.. about 2 1/2 blocks or so.. I dont think I have gained but my BUTT is getting bigger I just know it!! so I have to do much better.. I am getting freaked.. I am NOT going to get the next size clothes so I HAVE to chill and do this right!! It has been 2 years and I am NOT going to relapse to far!! Good morning every one!! Linda

Oh, I'm sorry you had such a rough day! Don't be too hard on yourself for eating badly after that day. Just remember today is a new day, and a new chance to do what you really want to do, foodwise. Linda Vicory

Hang in there! This too shall pass!!! I'll be thinking of you! Hugs Claudette

I am so sorry to hear you are having a rough time. You are in thoughts and prayers and you will get right back on track. We all get off track sometimes. Kylie

I am so sorry that things are rough right now for you . and if there is anything i can do to help just yell i am a phone call away. if nothing more then to lend a shoulder to cry on. the losss of a friend is never easy , you have to know that god has plans for us all we may not like it or understand why he took her but know that there is a reason maybe to watch over you or be an angel to someone who needs her touch. as far as the eating bad . dont beat yourself up its not like you sat and ate the whole bag of chips and a pound of dip and then went for ice cream. and everyone is right today is a NEW DAY. the water heater things is just par for life whit home ownership. we had to cancel vegas this year to put a furnece in our house . so i know how agervating (SP) it is. the job issue well it just wasnt ment to be is all. when it is right the job will find you. keep looking on anthem site we always have things open for med review and such. well time for this soul to get her self busy at work. have a blessed day all.. 10 more days and counting vicki

Mariah, First, take a look at your new avatar~ WOW~ what a change!! You are doing so well, and shouldn't beat yourself up for a slip- just get right back on track and take it easy on yourself. We all make mistakes:when I have had problems in the past I look at what happened that caused me to want to eat- lack of time, extreme hunger,STRESS, etc. then try to figure out a plan to stop it before it happens again. So sorry to hear about your friend. It is never easy to lose someone we care about .I will be praying for all of you. We don't understand "why" just know God does. She is no longer in pain, or suffering, and is at peace. Now let God's peace fill your heart. The right job is out there for you- hang in there, keep getting those resumes out, and it will find you! Have a sunshine on the inside day everyone, (((hugs))) Ellen

Good Morning ;) I'm so sorry to hear yesterday went from bad to worse for you. Today's a new day. I'm sure your follow-up appt. will be just fine. Please do keep us posted on how you are doing today. Tania

Sorry you had such a crappy day. Stress as we all know triggers our head. Today is a new day, and I am sure you will be back on the right track. You have done sooooo great and will continue to do great. We all have done this most likely.....Deb