:help: Trouble with children and surgery

My surgery is a week from Wednesday, April 11. I am excited but my two older children are discussing my surgery between themselves because they don't think I should do it because of the risk. I tried to explain to my son that any surgery is a risk and I am not doing it for anyone but myself. He said he will be there on the day of my surgery. I don't care if he is there but I do not want to listen to any crap before surgery. His sister is in RN school and she thinks she knows everything. I have been a nurse for 10 years and I still don't know it all. What can I do without alienating the kids? Seems to me that I am old enough (58) to know what I am doing. Not going to let them get me down. I just need your help in this situation. Hugz, Alice

my kids are unsettled too. but we lived our lives for them ,now we must take care of our selves or they wont have us around to complain too .. ha ha....good luck on yur decision, and just thank it thur for you.....they are just nervous....

I know they are just concerned for me. I don't want them to be scaired. I will just have to remind them that I am not ready to quit gripping at them now! LOL. Thanks for the support. Alice

Hi Alice, My guess is that the kids love you and are just scared for you and themselves. There are risks but as we all know there are risks to continue living at the weight we are or were before surgery. Maybe letting them know about the risks of obesity will let them see that you are trying to do something to improve your health so you can be around for a lot longer. I guess my advice would be if you know in your heart this is the right decision then just be calm and quiet when they are negative. I really think they are just scared and need some reassurance. Peg

I know this is the right thing to do for me and I am satisfied with my discision. But I am anything but quiet. Still, I know I shouldn't argue with them and just try to assure them that it will be a hard journey, but one I am willing to take and I need them to be at my side encouraging and not pushing the other way. They are grown, Joey is 35 and Tracy is 39. Good kids. Just a pain in the ass sometimes. LOL>. Love them though. Hugz, Alice

Alice, If there is a support group meeting between now & the 11th, ask your kids to come with you. Then they can ask the questions and express the fears....and personally see post-op successful people. We have all heard horror stories. Shoot, we even know a few of these first hand. Your kids have heard these as well. They need to see the flip side. If nothing else, encourage them to come on here! They are welcome to come on OH, read profiles, ask questions. You want your kids to feel good about what you are doing..but it sounds like they are pretty much grown..yes? I think I would just tell them 'you know, I am doing this for ME, not for you. And what I need from you both is to be supportive of this decision so I would really appreciate it if you would stop with the negativity. You are not making me change my mind about the surgery. You're just making it difficult for me to be around you. You don't want that and I don't want that so please stop.'. Good luck with the kids and congrats on having the surgery on the 11th! What hospital/surgeon will you be having? Sherri

Hi Sherri, I am having surgery at the St. Vincents Bariatric in Carmel with Dr. Inman. I hope the kids get on board. I have 4 and the only one against it really is Joey, the oldest son. Tracy the oldest daughter hasn't said anything to me, just her brother. I can't wait. I am scaired and excited all at the same time. Getting closer and closer. Alice

Just say I have raised you.. it is my turn... MY Kids were afraid that Holiday dinners would end.. they didnt. They still get the Ham and noodles... I just add salad and veggies and spend more time helping the babies eat.. giving them more time to eat!! Worked out better than they thought!! Linda

You know, I did this for me of course, but also for my kids. The risks involved scared the hell out of me, but something kept sticking in my head. How many fat women do you see older than their 60's? None if any and there is a reason for that. Kids are very "in the moment" and they probalby don't understand that by NOT losing the weight, you are hurting your health dramatically, if not contributing to an early death. Hope they get on board! Belle

oh i know my daughter kept telling me not to do it...she would hear the horror stories from others and that is what her main issues were....my grandpa lives in winchester on elm street....he is like 95 years old...