not a good day!!! need a total clean House..........

Today I have decided all with shedding my weight after surgery I am going to begin shedding my deadbeat friends as well. I am beginning to think I have use and abuse me written on my forehead. I know you all know about my friend and the jail situation. now I had a friend who was supposed to have a grils day with who stood me up. she left me sitting at the melting pot for an hour looking like an idiot. I cried the whole way from Greenwood home to brownsburg. I tired to call her several times to see where she was but she wouldn't answer my calls so then she finally calls me back a few hours later drunk off her behind. she stopped for a beer on the way to meet me and it turned into an all out drinkfest. now mind you I don't drink.... my ex was an alcoholic and I went through hell and back with him and I decided then and htere to refrain from it all together. so why are all my friends alcholoics? and why do they all think they can treat me bad. Well I know why think they can because I let people walk all over me and I give give and give and get dumped on all the time. I need to make some new friends and say good bye to the ones who drag me down time and time again.... it really hurts.....

Hey Mendi, Im so sorry u had such a bad night. Sounds like u really do need some good friends. I cant believe how badly your friends have been to u in the last 2 weeks. I sure hope things get better for soon. I was looking forward to hearing all about the melting pot from you...guess u didnt eat alone??? I know when I started shedding all my wt I also shedded alot of crap. I did house cleaning and closet cleaning....I had to clear alot of clutter out of my life. Im sure it will be the same for you. Now that u are taking care of yourself and respecting your body....u should expect others to do the same...and if that means getting new friends... well out with the old and in with the new. I know at work...the really encourage ppl to get rid of friends that bring them down. They teach them they should improve their life and move on to ppl who help u be all u can be and not drag u down in the gutter with them... u dont needed that crap!!! Well at least u wont get stood up tuesday night. I can assure that!!! Looks like we have alot to celebrate....right Vicki....lol Hope your day gets better.

Thanks for the encouraging words it really means a lot. I am really glad I have met some new ppl on here. it really helps to have friends who have been through silimar situations.... and helps to not be so lonely at times. thanks again, Mindi

yes we do ..lol oh mindi hun i wish i had magic words to make all the crap in ones life just go away. this will be the second time in my life i have had to sit back and look at the friends i have as well. the first time was when i got divorced. most of the friends took his side and after his death they all found out that in the end i was the true one and it was a little to much to late. i have connected with one frined from when i was married and things are ok . she actually worjks at anthem and was in the same class i was in. . now i think i have a lot of new friends that i have a lot more in common with and feel that that is what i need at this point in my life. so i say to you mindi even tho we never want to rid our selfs of ppl we have known for year sometimes its like dead skin we just have to wa**** away and let the new shine ...now i know thi s might not make a lot of since to sme but if it does just just one thats all that matters . the funny thing is i KNOW a lot of people but the FEW i call friends are very dear to me.as women we are complex creaturs. some are hard some are soft and some just are,,,,and when we can be all 3 then in deed we are special. and so far the ones i have met are all 3. soft because we are ladies , hard because we have been there and back again with the WLS , and we just are . we laugh , cry , and share ourselfs with each other. be srtong in what you need to do mindi, be soft in the fact it will be ok to cry when you let that so called friend go , and share the hurt with all of us so that we can pick you up and get you going again. vicki

YOU GO ....i lost a couple of friends but oh well...i have my loser buds and thats all i seem to need any more..other than one or 2 left and one of the gals i had known since high school never did find out what took place but oh well...her lose sure not mine

Thanks for all the encouraging words!!!!! Vicki you are very poetic....lol FYI..... For those of you who know that I am Darrahs husband chris's first wife. I was not alluding to him in my previous statement about hell and back with my ex.... I was referring to a very toxic reltaionship I was in after Chris which lasted 2 1/2 years too long with a verbally abusive alcoholic man

My mom always told me growing up that if you find one true friend you are blessed. Many people in our lives are aquaintances that are in our life at that moment for whatever reason. Alot of times people use us. BUT remember, we can only be used if WE allow it. You are at an important time in your life where you are changing and improving yourself. Unfortunately this is a time when you will learn who is supportive of you or not. Don't feel bad about shedding bad relationships. In the long run it will be better for you and you self esteem will grow. You will meet others that are supportive, others who you have things in common with and that's all part of moving on to different stages of your life. Don't allow yourself to be treated with disrespect. Remember, people who believe they have power over you do not like it when they start to lose that power. No one likes to lose power. Set the stage for what you will accept from others--YOU have that ability!! Good luck, Stacy

I lost a sister... sigh... this surgery can do strange things to you.. I am sooo sorry about what happened to you at the melting pot.. you were looking so forward to going Linda

Mindi, I am sorry to hear about your friend doing that to you. You are right you don't need friends like that in your life now. You always have friends on here to help you out. Keep your chin up things WILL get better for you. Bonnie

i'm sorry to hear about your evening. pfffft....who needs fairweather friends. I agree that you should set some boundaries. A great friend would not have dis-respected you like that. I had to do major analysis of my friends about 10 years ago when I got sober. I used to one of those kind of friends, and I know that the alcohol had a lot to do with my decisions. I have nothing in common with friends that like to go out and get drunk for a good time. Like someone before mentioned it's great to have a lot of aquaintences but someone that chooses alcohol or men before their friend is not a true friend. I'm involved in many online groups with Yahoo. Several chihuahua groups (yep I have 4 fur kids-3 are chi's) and I'm involved in graphic arts groups too. I've been in these groups for years and the woman I've met online are some of my most supportive friends. I've actually met quite a few of them and talk to a lot of my cyber friends by phone. I think you're making a great decision. Judy