A real eye opener..

Ever since my surgery, I have noticed that myoldest daughter has been spendingless andless time with me. We used to go shopping on Saturdays to the thrift stores and yard sales etc. for several months now she has been either too busy, too tired, has errands to run etc. She doesnt call as much as she did either, and has been spending more and more time with her best friend, Thats all fine, I realize my kids have their own lives. After all, shes 41 years old, has two teenagers, a very demanding job and husband. But recently she told me about a conversation she had with another friend of mine, who had had the WLS a few months before me and has lost over a hundred pounds. She was telling this freind,,you dont realize the impact your weight loss ahs had on the people around you. The other person told her, yes I do, my 17 year old daughter is so jealous of me now that I have lost all this weight and am smaller than her! Shes so immature! My daughter told her,,,think about it, she doesnt know who you are now, how she should react. She has lost her "fat buddy", just like I have. Mom and I used to thrift shop and fight over the plus sizes, or hit the sales in the plus size stores, or compare sewing patterns, and go to Weigh****chers together. Not any more. Mom goes to the small sizes and Im by myself over in the plus. Mom dresses differently, we dont wear the same styles anymore, or go to the same fast food restaurants. And she looks so different,,sometimes I just miss my Mom! I think telling me about this conversation was her way of telling me how she feels. Oh, she compliments me all the time, and says she is happy for me because she watched me struggle and cry and be depressed my whole life. She saw her dad leave me for another woman and knows how my self esteem plummetted after that. But she is having a really hard adjustment to the changes now. I never really thought about how my family is seeing me now, or feeling the change. My daughter has a weight problem, but not a lot, shes a member of weigh****chers and is very beautiful, but she has dieted for years. Now she is the only one in the family with a weight problem, other than her oldest daugher. That may be part of the struggle. Just a thought provoking post, I wanted to share with you all. Blessings Betsy

That makes me sad. I hope she can get past that, but on the other hand I sort of understand where she is coming from. My sisters and mom are all small and always have been. When we shop, I always have to go to the plus size store by myself. I have always wished I could shop with them in the smaller sizes....so I guess I see it from another side. I am sure she is very proud of your accoomplishment. Maybe you can find some other activities that you can both enjoy together. Good luck and congrats on your weight loss. Linda

I know what you mean, but my issue has been with my Mom. She has been really giving me the exact same treatment as your daughter. It does hurt! I wish that I could figure out a way to make her feel better about it, but I have no idea how to. She had RNY about 2 years ago and did well, but never got below a size 18 from a 5x, and she wants to be smaller. I work very hard everyday, to get the size I am, and she never works out. It's like she is mad at me foe being smaller than her. My daughters love it, because we shop in the same places now. My oldest daughter is a little irritated about the fact that she is getting the pants that are too small for me, but she is happy for me. I think it may be helping her get in a little more exercise than she used to. I hope things get better for the two of you soon! Blessings, Carmen

I hope you both can find other things you like together. . . perhaps, going to the movies, bowling, book stores, your shopping doesn't have to revolve around clothing. Also this summer there is putt putt and visiting the zoos, parks, botanical gardens. . .even now you could go to museums, if you are close to any of these things. . .perhaps grocery shopping together. Find things to do that don't focus on your clothing and her clothing sizes. Good luck and don't ever regret your decision because of her reactions. I worry. . . my oldest weighs 188, 5'6, and only 12. She's got a lot of muscle, but one of the things she asked me was. . .you aren't going to be smaller than me are you mom? I told her. . .I don't know. I would like to at least be your size, but I don't know how much I will lose. I know that if I do get smaller than her, we'll adjust. I hope you and yours can too. *hugs*