The surgeon changed my date!!

THe surgeon's office called today and they are moving my surgery. Dr Evanston is assisting Dr Kaderabek and he is having hand surgery, and Dr Kaderabek is going to be out of town. So i'm not talking about a couple of weeks they moved it from February 14 to MARCH 28TH!!!!!!! That's exactly 6 weeks... i know some are saying... that's not that long, at least you're still getting it... blah blah blah.... DAMMIT I WANT IT NOW... I'm tired of having to lay in bed next to my husband and not be held. He won't hold me because I'm bigger than him, he won't sleep with me because I'm bigger than him, I was hoping by March 28th I would be small enough for all those things to be back in my life. I hate sleeping alone, it hurts.... Today is an I hate life day... Jessyca

Oh sorry to hear that Jessyca. That does seem like a long delay. I feel for you. Linda Vicory

Jessyca- I don't think your weight is the problem! If he doesn't love you now than you shouldn't give him your love! Love is not something you base on a size it is something you feel. I will pray that God gives you the courage and strength to see clear about your marriage. I will also pray that you soon find love for yourself and from others!! I am so sorry that you are being treated like this, it does seem so heartbreaking. I would never wish those feelings on anyone! Friend of foe! Just my thoughts not trying to be hurtful because it sounds like you have enough of that! Blessings and hugs, Carmen ps sorry about the date change that has to suck! But your right it will be here soon! But not soon enough!

Oh man!! That does suck! I'm so sorry. So, HE has a schedule conflict and YOU are put at the end of the line!! That would **** me off too. I would be very down. I hope you can pick yourself up soon. Okay, about the hubby thing. I'm sure you have seen the multiple talk shows where the husband and wife go on there and the husband treats his wife like crap because she has gained weight....yada, yada, yada. Well, one show I saw several years ago....................this is the best ;) The husband was ranting and raving about how he was going to "leave her if she didn't loose weight". So, she turned to him.................finally...............and said "just how much weight to I have to gain before you finally leave"!!!! I about fell off my chair laughing. Your hubby needs an attitude adjustment. I'm afraid you loosing weight will only improve a syptom of the real problem. I know you are getting help for yourself and I applaud you. That is the way to go. You need to make some decisions totally based on what you need and what is best for you. If he falls in line, great. If not................................... Take care, Tania

I am so sorry that your surgery date was rescheduled, I know that that is a bummer. Mine was rescheduled due to the fact that i had an infection, I was ready to go into the ER when the surgeon came and took a look and said no way, mine too was 28 days later. i know it is for different reasons, but maybe God has another plan for you! Keep strong! I have to agree with the others, your hubby should love you no matter what, I am so sorry that you are having this treatment, I wish you the best, but as they say, generally WLS does not make a differnce in the marriage, other than good gets better and the bad often end! I am sorry, hopefully, you all can work on this together, i am glad that you are working on improcing your health, but agree that your hubby may need to work on some things himself! Hugz Dawn On the brighter side-- YOU will have a GORGEOUS surgeon with Dr. E, everybody thinks he's a doll!!!

Jessyca - What a bummer! Your mind gets psyched up for this and you count down the days. I know how worried I was when some my pre-op test results were a little shaky and had to be repeated. I was concerned that my surgery would get rescheduled. But I am confused....Which Dr. is having hand surgery? Evanston? or Kaderabek? If I am reading your post correctly then Evanston is supposed to be covering for Kaderabek, but since he (Evanston) is having surgery himself, and Kaderabek is supposed to be out of town on Feb 14, that is why your date got switched. Right? As far as your husband is concerned.....is he using your size as an excuse? He should love you for who you are on the inside, and should not be basing his affection for you on your size. I get your not feeling real sexy when your self-confidence is shaky with the weight, but that would be different. I am sensing that he doesn't want you due to your size. I feel for you. Karen

Jessyca, I dont know your situation and I say this with love but if your husband cant love and accept you now as you are maybe hes not good enough for you. You deserve better and maybe its time to shop for a new husband???? Just a thought. I was lucky enough that my husband always loved me...when I was 400 lbs and now that Im 250....he loves me for me and will hug me, kiss me and sleep with me no matter what my size. I would hope u would be loved and treated like that by your husband. I think everyone should be loved unconditionally. Your post made my heart sad to think that your husband wont hug or sleep with u becouse u are larger than him.

Jess, WLS will NOT save a marriage no more than having a baby will. Are you dependant on his insurance or his income? If not, don't only kick his butt out of your bed, but kick it out of your door! You don't need that garbage. He's the kind of man who is going to end up blaming WLS for the end of your marriage because once you lose weight, you are going to FINALLY see that you are worthy of love...true love...not his BS! You are worthy of it NOW!!! And if he can't see that, then bye-bye to him! As to the docs...sounds kinda screwy. Sure you don't want to try to switch to Dr. Cacucci or Dr. Gupta? They'd probably be able to get you in before March 28th. You have the approval, so it shouldn't matter to the insurance. huggs... Sherri

I know, I know! Be patient as they might move it up again. Same thing happened to me.

OK, I tried to ignore the husband comments because I tend to be a little bit of a meddler sometimes. No one else ignored them, so here goes! I agree with all the smart beautiful ladies on this board. YOU deserve this surgery for YOU! Not to please him or to get some attention from him that he is holding out on you because of your weight. You are a sweet, pretty lady, so don't settle for that! I think you might need to put your foot in his a$$.