stress/eating/issues

Hi everyone. I haven't had time to be on here much in the past 3-4 months and feeling pretty stressed out lately. My youngest daughter left her hubby & sons for 3 mo. to go to a man she met on the internet, was in an abusive relationship, came home the 18th of Dec. & and has gone back to that person on New Years Day. We took her to St. V's for help,(medical & emotional) which she refused.We are now are trying to help the grandsons cope. (18-13-12-6) They had thought that she was home for good,and now are going thru depression/anger.It has been constant turmoil for the past 2 weeks. I have noticed I am wanting to "eat" for no reason- I'm not even hungry- just "feeling feelings". I find myself wanting to eat crackers,salty/fatty items, which will make me ill. I don't want to focus all my attention on what has/is happening. I have taken up knitting scarves, watch uplifting movies, reading, listening to music and reading my Bible everyday. I do have a great Christian councilor who is helping me with my daughter issues. I just don't want to mess up my recovery - and I know stress eating will.Thanks for listening- I needed to vent, & get this out of my head. Any prayers you could send my way will be grately appreciated. ((hugs)) Ellen

What a hard situation! Good for you to have a counselor, so you can still take care of yourself through all this. Thank heavens those grandsons have you involved with them to help them with this horrible thing that's happened. Take care of yourself, and I will keep your family in my prayers. Linda Vicory

Hello Ellen, Honey I know what you are talking about. I have been there. With all the problems I had medicaly and then dealing with my oldest, well you know. Ellen I am not a big reader but I couldn't do anything like walking ect. to help with the hunger felling and strees . And well you know the problems I had with my surgery and not being able to do anything, so I took up reading and it helped, but I ended up going back to eating the sugar free pop sicle and drinking more tea. It helped, lol belive it or not I was at a few times eating 3 popsicles in a row. And do you know what I am back to eating them I am trying so hard to get the 7 pounds off I put on since Oct. I went crazy I wasn't really getting sick so I was eating way to much and to often and eating stuff I shouldn't of. Well, you know what ? I have been sticking to my meal plan and NO MORE STINKY GAS..... Wow the people at work are happy no problems since I have been back to work since 2007. Ellen call me if you need me or Lois you know we will be there for you. You two have been there for me Oh and Dan and Ann were a big help also. We are here for you. Lisa B

I am soo sorry!! It is hard to be a good mother/grandmother and NOT worry.. we don't want to interfere but we cant help worrying.. I can see why the kids would have anger issues.. who is abusive? the New guy in NY or the hubby?? Are the kids ok??? If you need to vent... I am here Linda

Ellen, I know. Right now is when you are wishing it was summer and you guys could jump in the RV and get out of Dodge. I would recomend your getting all that munchie stuff out of the house and stock up on the sf popcycles. I love them when I need a munch. And like Lisa, eating 3 in a row is a norm for me. I think it's the 'crunch' need. And you know what I noticed? I eat them most often when Bill is being a butthead. (Yeah, he's sweet most of the time, but we ALL can be buttheads!) I read it that it's your daughter's bf that is the abusive one...right? Is the kids staying with you or their dad? How did their dad react to her coming back? Was your daughter a responsible wife & mother before this man entered into her life? I think your daughter is much too old to behaving like a wild teenager. I know, I'm being nosey, and I'm sorry. It sounds like your sil needs to find a good family couselor for him & his kids to go to. As to your daughter, it sounds like if/when she comes back, ALL of you need to give her a little bit of tough love. Don't let her back into your hearts and your lives until she does seek out help. It sounds like it wouldn't hurt for her to get a job and an apartment...and learn to earn the right to be in her kids lives again. Coming in and out of those kids lives whenever she pleases is unfair to the kids..and unfair to everyone who cares about the kids. If it were Tiffany and I had her 3 kids living with me and saw the heartbreak they went through because of her actions, that's what I would do, for their sakes. Actually, for Tiffany's as well. In the meantime babe, plan on coming to the clothing exchange & baby shower. I think you could use a double dose of Hoosier Looser! Huggs! Sherri

Ok, here goes. In August she started "internet dating" some guy she met on MySpace. She was doing this at work, coming home later & later,not at all, and finally moved out & left. (She lost her job and moved in with him.) She said how ""I didn't have any fun" before marriage-partying,drinking,out all night, etc. HUH????Gee, I seem to remember things differantly. She gave her husband temp. custody of the boys and we didn't hear from her for 3 mo. She was suppose to have them every other weekend ,pay support and keep in touch. None of that happened and the boys thought she just didn't love them. Of course we told them she does, and was just going thru a bad time.I have held the boys and cried with them . My heart has broke for them & we tell them it is none of their fault. Then- On Dec. 12 she called hubby & asked him to come & get her- the boyfriend supposedly beat her up. ( She had no bruises and ended up saying it was all a lie to get back her car & see the boys. She told us she chose not to come & get them/ talk to them. The guy called on Jan. 1 and she ran off to be with him in the middle of the night. We have since found out she was on the internet the whole time with him. I did go down when she came to get her things & try to talk to her. She said she really loves this guy, and doesn't care what anyone thinks/says. I really do think she has lost all sense of reality. She told me that if I wanted to put her into the stress center I could forget it. It is hard to see her hurt her sons, and do this AGAIN. We are all showing her "tough love". At this point there really is nothing we can do/say to her.We are all standing behind the kids and making sure they are cared for. The final hearing for the divorce is Jan. 17th. at which time the final custody of the boys will be determined. Of course my SIL is seeking full custody of them and is going to allow her visitation. At this point it is all up to the courts. My SIL is a great Dad & man, and is devistated . He really was thinking things were working out between them. He is seeking counciling for them all. All of your prayers and support mean so much to me. It has been hard to even talk about it, since she is my child. I am doing better today, I think finally talking about it has helped. (I did go get sf popsicles today, and paln to go to the baby shower & clothing exchange. See you there. Thanks again for letting me share my heartache, Ellen Ellen

Ellen, I don't know why some people behave so badly. I do know that you are a terrific person. I hope that one day your daughter will realize all she has done. In the meantime, it's very good that your SIL is the man he is. At least your daughter did choose wisely when she married him. Sometimes, it does help just to get things off your chest. Sometimes, it helps just to be among friends and away from the problem...even if only for a few hours. I'm so glad you plan on coming to the shower & clothing exchange. Sherri