My Life - repost from Main Board

It's been a while since Ive posted due to the holidays and other personal events. The most life changing event happened at the end of November when I lost 240lbs in one day. I made the decision that the 8 1/2 year relationship I was in was not going anywhere I needed it to go. I felt like a mother to a 36 yr old man and Im only 38 so that was impossible. It was to the point where I couldn't tell him that I loved him at all.... and come to find out he was out of love with me. It has been very difficult getting him out of my life even though he's moved on with his personal life. He actually signed up for all these "dating" and adult sites two days after we ended. How do I know.... I have axcess to his emails because of paypal/ebay stuff. He's already in a relationship and it hasn't even been a month. Maybe it's just us women who need a mourning period? Im sure that's not true... just strange thoughts Ive been having. Ya know... axcessing his emails have made me realize that my decision was the best for me. Am I still doing it... nope. Interestingly enough is that this new lady is very obese. I thought that our relationship would actually improve once I lost some weight... and maybe my desires would come alive again. Well, I've hit my 100 lbs mark two days ago.... and sex is the last thing on my mind. Well... it hasn't been on my mind for years. But I feel healther.... physically and emotionally. I guess I feel a little lost right now. Im not sad or lonely... I was sad and lonely when he was here. Confusion on the whole situation... yes. Why did I not see this coming? My entire self-esteem has changed so much in the past 7 month - for the better. I don't put up with crap like I use too. I guess it took the weight loss to improve my self-esteem... along with my support groups, family, and what friends I still have. I have yet to cry over this relationship ending. I guess because it ended a long time ago and I just realized it? We did have lots of good times in the beginning... but somewhere it died. Funny thing is that he has to rely on his own paycheck to survive.. which doesn't amount to much. I make over three times what he does so he's having to realize what a budget is and I won't be there to pick up the pieces if he over spends. He had it good with me and he now realizes that. And I am much better without him in my life. He's coming over tomorrow to get the rest of this stuff from my garage. I'm going to open the garage from inside so I won't have to deal with him one on one.

Congrats on the 240lbs loss. Sometimes you just have to make yourself free. It may be hard at first but this too shall pass. It sounds like you have come to the right choice for who you are now. I will pray for you to find happiness soon! Carmen PS Life is not all about sex!! Or is it?

I too would like to congradulate you on the HUGE wt loss last month...if only I could do that without getting rid of my hubby....lol. Also, congrats on the additional 100 lb loss. Sounds like you are getting your life together in so many ways. Keep up the good work. I so know where u are about the sex thing. Its not even the last thing on my mind...its never on my mind. My poor husband has been suffering for the last 4 yrs. I would say hes a virgin all over again. Im so lucky that hes even stayed with me knowing what hes had to endure. I guess he really loves me...any other man would have been gone a long time ago. Im hoping one day I'll get a sex drive back...but we cant all be animals in the bedroom like Carmen and Sam...LOL

Sorry I couldn't reply to this last night...I was a tad occupied!! Sam

Sam, Im so glad to see you finally came up for air. Im sure u were breaking in all the rooms of the new house. When u get time tell us all about your beautiful new home and all you have been doing to it. It was great to see you Christmas Eve, I only wish I had had more time....and didnt have to leave to get Andy at the airport......THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE BAGS. Cant wait to see you again, Your looking great.

I AM SOOOOO PROUD OF YOU....you are awesome, that was a hard thing to do i know...you work on you and do not even worry about someone else in your life...when it happens you will know and it will be so right....I know the self worth and things you had lost with the weight have resurfaced..........the real you has come out and thats wonderful...i know people say we change but for me it was more of the ME COMING BACK.........amazing what that added weight made us feel so worthless...I for one want to give you a big ole hug.....you are one strong awesome lady....

Sex??? Isnt that what the call the difference between boys and girls?? You mean there is more??? I have a disabled husband on MAJOR pain killers for years...Any activity has been out of the question for YEARS sigh... oh well... it isnt all life is ment to be... Sorry about the hubby.. even though it is a relief in a way it is also a big drain emotionally..sorry you have to go thru the grief period of a dying relationship.. Obease women are safe... that is what they think... no one else would want her... Hubby thinks I have a boyfriend..HA!! when would I have time I am taking care of him every minute I am not at work... sigh again... lIFE GOES ON... ENJOY YOURS!! lINDA

My sex drive never went away, even before surgery Now if i could just pop this baby out so my husband would get HIS back. He's convinced we're putting dents in the baby's head or that it will remember us having sex or something. He' so funny.