11 Days, and counting.

I think the nerves have started to kick into high gear. Here are just some of the things I am worried about, and could use some prayers. 1) I am so scared I am going to lose my job. I had a rough day on Sunday, and wasnt very nice to a customer. Its not a recurrent thing with me, as a matter of fact, I have never once been written up for being mean. I just pray to God that I dont lose my job, and that everything is finally going to go as I have planned. 2) I am trying so hard to quit smoking. I am doing pretty well, but there are times that I just want to say screw it all, and light up, and just enjoy it. I know that I cant have the surgery if I am smoking, and I have gone almost 3 weeks without breaking. I did have a few puffs on sunday, after the horrible member at work, but thats it. 3) I need to make sure that I am doing the right thing. I keep thinking in my head that this isnt the right choice for me, and that I havent tried hard enough at other methods of weight loss. What if this fails too? Then what? 4) I just want to know that everything is going to be ok. I find myself crying, and just plain irratable (sp) to my family and friends. I am not usually a mean spirited person, and I have noticed here latley that people that I enjoy being around are really starting to get on my nerves. Is this normal? 5) I just wi**** was this time next week. We would be at 4 days, and I would be making the final preps to get ready to change my life. This next week, is going to be extremely difficult, and I just hope that I will be able to sleep with the worries of losing my job, making the right choice, and staying smoke free. Any prayers that you can offer, I would greatly appreicate every single one of them. You are all a great group of people, and I know that in my heart of hearts, its all going to happen, but there is just one single part of me, that fears its all going to come crashing down before my eyes. Thanks for reading, and I will stop babbeling now. Gonna try to sleep now. Thanks for all your support in the past, present and my future. You all rock my socks!! S.

Scott - Even though I am still 6 weeks away from surgery, I am having some of the same thoughts that you are. The one thing I can offer is a suggestion of a stop smoking product. But since you are so close to surgery, I would call your surgeon and see if you can use it. I know that there are certain meds you can not take prior to surgery and I am not sure if any of those on the forbidden list would be in the pills. The product is called Smoke Away. It is available over the counter. I got it at walmart. Dr Inman, my surgeon, does not allow any nicotine in your system. I quit the beginning of October and have been smoke free ever since. Quitting was definitely easier than I thought it would be. Good luck. You are in my prayers. Karen

There is always that little voice in the back of your head saying "what if this doesn't work either?" Even post op I find myself wondering that at times (though much less than before). Right after surgery, you really have no choice but to follow the eating plan. You'll find (or at least I have) that food itself becomes much less important to you, you spend less time thinking about it, and in general, it just won't mean as much to you as it used to. You'll be alright! Just think of the work you had to go through to even get approved, let alone the struggle to even get to the point where you decided to take this step to a healthier life.

Scott, seems pretty normal to me.. you are facing major surgery and you have quit smoking.. I remember when I quit 13 years ago...it is a major move.. a shock to the system.. If you need to tell people you are sorry then do it.. explain you have some major things going on in your life and you dont mean to be mean spitrited..Telling people you just quit smoking 3 weeks ago will have them proud of you and easier to overlook a little changes in your attitude. BUT remember to smile... YOU have chosen the right path for your new life.. It was the best thing that ever happened to most of us. The journey isnt always easy.. but I would do it again in a heartbeat. I would start all over with the 2 ounces and puking if I over filled my pouch.. Food just isnt what it used to be to me.. most things dont even taste the same.. and YEC the taste of a pepsi... just isnt worth the money... Being scared isnt wrong.. just dont let it rule you.. The wonderful man you are needs to shine. Take a deep breath...smile and say to day is the first day of the BEST of my life!! And MEAN it!! Love and Prayers, Linda

Scott You know that my prayers continue for you. What you are going thru right now is pretty normal. You are about to change your life for the better and fear is setting in. Think about all the positive aspects of weight loss surgery. I also had to quit smoking before surgery and that was probably the hardest part of getting ready for surgery. I know you can do it and please do not give up. Yesterday was my one year anniversary and I look back to where I was a year ago and where I am at now and stand amazed. Hang in there buddy. Dan

Scott, Take a deep breath sweetie! What you are going through sounds pretty typical really. I think we all have had the nagging feeling that maybe there was some other diet that could have been tried. 'Diets' aren't successful because they don't change the thinking process that goes along with eating. With dieting, you look at a 'serving' and think 'yeah, if I were 4 yrs old!'. Diets are hard to maintain, therefore, they aren't. It's too easy to see cherry pie, think 'I just want one piece', and then give into that temptation. Post-op, your pouch size determines how much you eat. Not your eyes. Not what the package says is 1 serving. You find that you have to remind yourself to eat. About everyone wonders if they will fail with surgery as well. Your stomach is going from ~30+ ounces to 1-2 ounces. 1 egg is 2 ounces. Between those 3 meals in that little thing and your protein drinks, you will get in all the nutrician you need (and because of the size, all you WANT to get in). A long as those 2 ounces are what you are suppose to eat and not liquid milk shakes (or some other sugar-laced, low in protein item), you will lose weight. I heard people saying that they don't dump. Dumping is an adverse reaction to sweets, high fats, or high grease foods. Best way to handle dumping? Do NOT try these foods. Do NOT find out IF you will dump..instead, always asume that you will and avoid these foods to keep that asumption going. In other words, do as your surgeon & hospital has instructed you, and you WILL lose weight. No doubt about it. I know smoking is a long road to give up. I quit July 19, 2004 after smoking for over 30 years. I loved my ciggarettes and was a 3+ pack a day person. I didn't care how much they raised the prices. But then along came the bigger issue of my weight. I used the patch & wellbutrin to quit. On August 19th, I was off the patch as well. There are still times that I am tempted to pick them back up. I suppose there always will be. Before my feet problems, I would get on the treadmill whenever those urges were the strongest. Now, I dive into my hobby wor****ep my hands busy. Most of the time when I am tempted, it's because I am bored. So..I work on not being bored. Many people react to surgeries...and especially this surgery...in different ways. Some doesn't think about past failures and just look forward to the future. Some actually do think that this would be an 'easy way' to get rid of the extra pounds. Some beat themselves up for not being able to lose the weight without surgery. Some are angry at others for being able to eat what they want and not gain weight...and some are angry at themselves because they aren't one of them. Some people cry and mourn the food friends they are losing. As you can see, people react in different ways. Perhaps the person at work really was just an ass...or perhaps the stress you are feeling from not smoking and your upcoming surgery is making him to be a really bigger ass than you would have thought him to be 2 months ago. Only you know for sure. Apologize to him if it was you. If it was him, apologize to yourself..for allowing an ass to take control over your life. Yes, he did. You gave into angry words and smoking because of him. Scott, YOU take control of your life. Your health with the surgery. Your lungs with not smoking. And your professional & personal life by not allowing people to get you upset. They AREN'T worth it. You have a whole future ahead of you. How do you see yourself? I hope you see the person who is wanting to come out...the healthy, not chained to food or ciggarettes, calm person. We are here for you on each step out your journey. Don't let the asses of the world get next to you! We have them outnumbered! Sherri

Scott every thing you posted above are things I thought before I had surgery (except the smoking thing.) I thought this would be so hard and so life altering etc. However, there are times I forget I have had surgery. Seeing the scars or when people compliment me are the reminders. You'll do great! Just hang in there and it will be over before you know it! Sam

Hi Scott, We all have traveled the road you are on in one degree or another. I've lost 100's of lbs. failed to keep it off. It isn't about "diets" -they don't work for people who are addicted to food, and if you are like most of us, you are. Remember why you wanted the surgery in the first place, how hard you have fought for it, & how important it is to save your life!!! A little tip my Step-Dad learned when he had to stop smoking-lung cancer-smoked 60yrs. -stick a cinnamon stick in your mouth & suck on it. It does work! I can tell you that your thoughts & feelings do change before & after the surgery. I have mourned my food buddies I use to hang out with & "binge" with, changed my priorities to include "self" time, don't crave food or even think about it most of the time,& had to let go of "toxic" friendships. I've learned to forgive myself when I make a mistake, found out that there is LIFE after surgery & a real "family" who loves ,supports me & accepts me-flaws & all. !!! Thank goodness for the support of our OH & WLS friends & support groups, they truley do understand! I will be praying for you- and Linda Vicory is having surgery the day after you- you'll have to get togehter & be "walking buddies". That is how I found mine! Hang in there Scott, it is almost over! (((hugs))) Ellen

The pending surgery and stopping smoking is enough to make anyone feel stressed. Is your employer aware of what you are going through? Since you have a good track record with customers, I can't imagine them firing you for one mistake. Sometimes the people that I love the most can get on my nerves the quickest. The amazing thing about loved ones and true friends, is that they love ya anyway!

Scott, I am scared too. I will have my date within the next couple of days. I worry that if something happens to me that I was selfish to my kids, I worry about everything! I know one thing for sure. I cannot continue to live like I am. I hurt all the time, can barely walk without pain and I'm not even 48 years old yet. I am putting my faith in my God and in my desire to do what is right to make this work. I quit smoking on November 3rd. I've had two full cigarettes since. I just can't beat myself up over it. Try to be strong. You can do it! I believe in you!!!! Again, as far as fear of surgery, If you think about it, it would not matter what type of surgery your having, you would be nervous. I know that I will be here to receive support, I know I'm gonna need it. It's a blessing to see that people meet outside of here, that there is genuine caring. I feel very fortunate that this surgery is available, and very fortunate that I have places to go, people to talk to to help me through it. This is my first time replying to anyone, but I felt I needed to just to tell you that you are not alone and I truly believe someone here will always listen. B Fox-Rude