Maybe Not So Good

Feeling a little... odd... and I knew just where to come for support. Just earlier today I was elated because I could wear hubby's shorts (even tried on a size 42mens, and got them all the way on), something I've never been able to do. I'm about 10 pounds away from weighing the smallest I have ever weighed as an adult. Why do I feel like such a failure? Well, firstly, the weight loss seems very surreal. 100 pounds later I still look, well, fat. Just as fat as I ever did in my honest opinion. Don't you think after 100 pounds I should be able to see SOME change? So the number on the scale is different, true. But if you dont LOOK any different, what does it matter what the number on the scale is? The big discouraging thing is, I looked at the projected weight loss guide OH gave me for after surgery. I should be down to 250 already according to them... and I'm just now hitting 279. SIghs. I haven't been perfect about food, and I think i've done pretty good about excersise. I just feel like a failure. Darn that chart.

Get rid of the chart. I bet you look great! I have never been able to wear anything from my husband. My buts to big! I wish I was near you to give out a hug. So I'm sending one now!!! Everyone is different and who cares what some chart says. I bet your health is so much better. Think happy things!!! Carmen P.s. you have lost more than me!!!!

Carmen, I just saw your post and noticed you are from Greenwood. I live in Greenwood too. I am in my final month of supervised 6 month diet. Hopefully at the end of this month I will be approved when I submit my paperwork. I have Cigna, and am going to have the surgery at St. Vincent's. We have another thing in common. I have two adopted children! We adopted internationally from Guatemala. It has been the best thing that has ever happened to us!! Good luck on your journey!!! Tina

Tina, Hi! Glad to hear from you! I hope it all works out for you next month I will keep my fingers crossed for you! If you ever need a workout partner let me know. Congrats on your adoptions, kids always make for a full life! Take care, Carmen

Big Hugsss, Girl your doin awsome and dont go by what some chart says , everyone is different , your doing a GREAT JOB !!! Ive seen alot say the same thing they know they have lost but they feel and look the same , you look different ,your brain just hasnt caught up to all your weight loss yet.. Super Big Hugssssssssssss your doing great keep your chin up .. as for me im scared to death Wed is surgery day and im freaking out ..

Jenn, WE are almost there. Take some big deep breaths. Im still pretty calm....probably more so than my husband. I was talking to him last night and he couldnt believe how calm I was. Im so prepared ...my body needs this so bad. I look forward to hearing how u did. Keep me posted. Mariah

Darrah, Darrah, Darrah, #1 - Just as Carmen said GET RID OF THAT CHART. Seriously. Keeping a chart like that will always make you feel like a failure. And your NOT. You lost 100lbs. How does that make you a failure. Toss it away. Never look at it again or anything resembling it again. #2 - Girl I know exactly what you mean about the self body image. Here I am - 92 lbs and when I look in the mirror I still see the 317 lbs fart chic staring right back at me. Even though I posted those progress pics last week - in my head I haven't changed and I really don't understand nor comprehend when everyone goes "Good Job" or "WOW You Look Great!" I seriously don't get it. But I've been told countlessly that eventually my mind will catch up with my weight loss..... so hang in there because you aren't the only one going thru the mind turmoil. #3 - if you ever need a reality check - check in at this forum. You know we'll set you straight.. hahaha! Feel the love. Jodi

Darrah~ STEP AWAY FROM THAT CHART! Lol!!! Seriously though...you are NOT a failure. You had done a great job! This is not a contest for who can lose the most weight the fastest. I've struggled with that as well and when I look in the mirror I still see a 365 fat girl. There was a time where I could not wait to get under 350, then under 300, then under 275, etc. I expected to be so happy once I got under that certain weight but I didn't celebrate my accomplishments, I started focusing on the next goal. Take a moment to celebrate your accomplishements and think about all of the non-weight related changes (improved quality of life, energy, overall well-being, etc). That has really helped me....making time to stop and smell the roses on the way. ((Hugs)) Jaimee

You tell her Jaimee, Very good advice so I'll just ditto that and say I bet those flowers smell Damn good too. If u dont smell them while they are fresh you will miss out on all the blessings they can give you...dont let them die before u got a chance to enjoy those roses my dear. Wow...does Halmark need a writer ...LMAO...guess I better not give up my night job... Darrah, I think u are doing amazing...just look in the mirror girl friend. The one on the wall and not the one in your head!!!! Mariah

Thanks guys. I knew this was just where to come and that you guys would set me straight. SO much more comforting than a bag of doritos ever was! Just the motivation I need to get my lazy bum outside for a jog- haven't been in three days!