NON - Supportive Family Members/Friends

What do you say to people who you love that do not support WLS? My brother is adament that I not have it because of the risks of surgery. I need your input.. Thanks Kristi Surgery 8-1-06 296/282/goal 150

I will tell you to tell your brother what I told my mom, and she has been on board since. "I would rather die trying to be heathy, than die from being fat" Thats really all it took. Good luck to you.

I went through the same thing and still hear about it some, I think it is because : 1. They are afraid something will happen to you. 2. They are big them selves and don't wont to be left out when you lose all yours. 3. Lets face it most of our families always have big meals and get to gethers, and they will think you won't want to be around all the food. 4. Some are jellious. And don't want you to out do them in complaments. I am sure there are alot of other reason why they don't support. But these were the ones of my family. 5. I heard you don't need that surgery, your sister and brother need it more then you.(which they do weight alot more then I and they are already diabetic) BUT I knew that this was for me and I live for my self and my kids. I want this and I was going to do it.... With or with out them. Hang in there. Lisa B

someone always knows someone who knew someone that blah blah........i was ready to slap the next person who told me anything..........send him this site and let him read up on it...i think most is he really knows nothing

I told my family only after I had a date and was approved by my insurance company, because I knew they wouldn't be too supportive. Surprisingly if they had too much to say about it, they kept it to themselves, but when I did tell them, I didn't say *I* requested it, I told them my DR requested it, and told me I was three times more likely to die an early death from ibesity complications than having surgery (which is true).

Family and close friends that don't have a clear educated clue as to WLS are scared. So their scared feelings turn into bitter hurtful comments. Like Angie said - people hear horror stories from someone that knows someone that blah blah blah blah. But you have to remember while they are verbally slashing your dream of gaining control of your weight issues that it's not about them at all. It's all about you and only you. What they think, say, or feel shouldn't hinder you at all into following something that you honestly believe will better your life, your lifestyle, and your health. Yes, it's so hurtful to have family and close friends feel the total opposite of something you feel so adamently about. My mother said I was wasting my time and taxpayers money (because I was on Medicare and Medicaid). My bf at the time said I was just to lazy and unmotivated to do it the "right" way and go to a gym. My son was fearful I was gonna have complication like his step mother and be sick after the surgery. Other family member conveyed to my mother that it just wasn't worth it and she should talk me out of it because they knew someone (that knew someone) that had wls and they gained back all their weight and blah blah blah blah. Don't listen to it. This is about you. Do what you gotta do to get yourself on the track to where you wanna be. If it involves have WLS then do it and don't let anyone stop you. Jodi.

I agree with all the others: This is about you. It would be nice if you could change his thinking with a little education, but even if you can't, you have to do what is best for you. My stepmom was very uncomfortable with the risks of the surgery, but I told her that my diabetes was only going to get worse (it's a progressive disease no matter how tightly you try to control it) and I didn't want to wait until it had caused permanent damage before I took this step. Better to take my chances while I was still relatively young (46) and relatively healthy (diabetes & hypertension controlled with meds). Since my surgery, she has been able to see not only the weight loss, but the reduction of my meds (no more diabetes meds and down to just one bp med), the changes in my activity levels and my "happiness quotient". I always considered myself an upbeat, optimistic person before, but now, I can't stop smiling! Ok, I'm not smiling when my 5 and 11 year olds are fighting, but the rest of the time...look out I'm at a hundred watts! Do what you think is best for you. Your family will probably come around. If they don't, then you will know that these are their issues to deal with, not yours. You can only change yourself, they will have to work on themselves. Good luck to you. Cindy

Thank you all for emailing me & giving me great advice. I think the same things as you all did & just going to tell him. He will have to deal with his own feelings. Thanks again. Kristi