problem?

I went to my primary MD today to discuss gastric bypass with her. She suggested I "reconsider" since the four patients (of hers) that she knows that had the operation didn't do well with it (i.e. side effects, divorce). she told me she's only seen negative, long term problems with it. My question is....will this totally ruin everything for me when the gastro doctor's office finally sends in everything to the insurance company?! This really set me back emotionally. She stated she won't "write a letter to the insurance saying no or anything like that" but she wrote "reconsider" on my regular file of hers. The only other thing she said was that she favors that my husband and I will be going through the procedure together because then we'll understand what the other is going through. I'm confused......

gggrrrr ignorance speaking i believe....if you have a strong marriage, you will be fine...if not then yeah chances are not in your favor to stay together...for me, i became what i once was, and not weak and allowing to be stepped on.... should your husband need this as well, then go for it....i tell ed, my husband this is all about me and for him to quit butting in on it...LOL...but i am like 15 months ahead of him, he is just now about 6 months out...not so sure i would do it the same day...i would do each a couple of months apart, but your hubby may not want to do this...i know mine at one point did not...i will say things can happen, and did with ed, but, today even after all he went through..(though i feel i went through more than he did, since i was the one stressed and working and going to see him and blah blah blah) he will and has said he is glad he had this surgery.. it is life long changes and try to make a small amount of chili...LOL

thanks for responding. i spoke to the insurance lady at the doc's office and she said not to worry about it so i won't. things are progressing. i'm still trying to decide on what surgery to have. i'm getting excited thinking that a year from now i will once again be able to do so many things that i've missed out on. i didn't listen to my doc when she was talking about marriages failing. i've had a bad marriage and never thought i'd marry again. but, i did and this one is the right fit so there's no way i'm throwing him back. i reminded her that i'm a therapist (as in psychotherapist) and that i understand all that goes along with the post op stuff. i just don't get her way of thinking. each to their own i guess. i'll keep you posted. thanks and i'm happy for you!!!!

While I do love my PCP she is finally glad I did it.. she was a beliver that you eat less move more and that is the only way to loose weight... she is now very happy everytime she sees me!!! Shouldnt hurt but she was mean to write that in your chart she could have just said considering WLS... If you have marriage problems now you will have them after... if you don't then chances are WLS wont upset the apple cart.. My hubby actually got nicer to me... Linda

Put it in your surgeon's hands and allow them to handle it. Under/Un-educated physicians really are a pet peave here. If she has only had 4 patients to have WLS, I would question her knowledge of the procedure, etc. Perhaps she should try to find the time to go to a few WLS surgery seminars. WLS is NOT a cure-all for what-ever ails you....rather if that be weight, health, or marital. It is a tool to lose weight...and if you don't use it as instructed, it won't work properly. It's not a magic wand that will make any emotional or marital issues go away. To use 'divorce' as an excuse not to recommend surgery???? No. That couple was headed for divorce court anyway. I repeat, put it in your surgeon's hands and allow them to handle it. Sherri

Anna, I cannot understand why a MD would not recommend something that is going to make you healthier in the long run. My Family Doctor has been behind me 100% since I appraoched him with the subject almost a year ago. I am 3 1/2 months out and is over 70 pounds less then I was and doing things that I have not been able to do in many years. I no longer take some of the meds that I was on before the surgery and some of my meds are taking a little while before I am able to stop them completely. The only thing I had to get from my Family Doctor was my BMI and weight for the past five years. The rest came from the surgeron office. With my Husband he weighs 160 lbs and told me when I approach him with the idea of me having this surgery, that if he could go through it, he would so that way he would know exactly what I was going through, not just being someone outside looking in. If this decision is what is right for you, then leave it up to the surgeon's office to help you get the approval from the insurance.