Top O' the Mornin'

Happy Wednesday everyone! I hope that its going to be a good one for me. I think I just had the worse nights (4+ hours) of sleep (I us that term loosely) that I have ever had! I felt like as if I were awake all night, you know like semi conscious, going in and out. I kept looking at the clock thinking that I wasn't sleeping at all, but I must have at least snoozed some because about 4am David was in the bed and when I looked at again at 5 am he was gone. Ok well anyway I am up and ready to grin and bear it. Before I go to school this today I have to take Mom to Community east. She is going to have her coumadin (blood thinner) level checked. She has been taken off of her med so that they can do some biospies on some abdomenal masses. If her blood is thick enough she will be admitted for the tests, put back on her coumadin and released hopefully in a few days, as soon as her blood it thick enough. If she isnt admitted I will drop her off back at home, if she is my Sister will trade places with me at the hospital and I will go to school! Whew, so hows that for having to be at school by 10am? So please send up a pray for us when you read this. We already know that she has cancer and that it is inoperable, so I guess they are just doing all of this to give us an idea of how long she (we) have. I don't know but she is refusing to have radiation or chemo (we sont even know if its an option right now) she said she is too old to go threw all that and everyone she knows just got sicker for a few months and then died anyway. She says that she wants to live as well long as she can, as well as she can, so she is just taking pain meds right now. That may be why I had such a rough night the last thing I remember before dozing off was praying for her and starting to cry. We are very close she lives .5 miles from me and I talk to her twice a day ( at least), she is not only my Mom she is my best friend. She has stuck by me threw thick and thin. I cant even begin to imagine life without her, and every time I think about it I start to tear up. But it's still a good morning, she made peace with the Lord along time ago and is as ready to go as anyone can be ........it's just that I'm not ready!!!!! : Ok I am off to the shower. I posted a pic of Me, Mom and my Sis if you would like to start your days off with a smile, we are three sexy chicks! Sorry to go on but I gotta talk to someone and you guys are great listeners! Thanks for reading and for your support. Hugs Christine

First of all, big hugs to you! I know that this is a very trying time for you, as I have had someone who I love very much die of cancer. My great Aunt Ruth, who was more of a grandmother to me, passed in november of 2004 from pancreatic cancer. She fought and fought, and fought, but she just couldnt do it anymore. She too tried the chemo, but it did make her more sick, and was admitted to the hospital. The docs then told her it was her choice to stay on the chemo, or go off, and she decided to go off of it. This was in april of 2004, and she fought until mid november. I dont have any words of wisdom or anything like that for you, just thank god everyday for her, let her know that you love her everyday, and just cherish her. Sometimes I will be thinking about Auntie Ruth, and it hits me that she is gone. I am ok with it now, and I do still have my moments of sadness, but it does get easier with time. She was the only person who I allowed to call me Scottie. A couple weeks ago, at work, someone said "Scottie, hows that bueatiful car of yours", and it sounded so much like Auntie Ruth, it was scary. She loved my purple car, and even though I dont have it anymore, she would still think my current car is bueatiful (its silver) I will keep your mom in my prayers, and you as well, for strength. If you need anything, feel free to e-mail me. God bless, Scott