Having 2nd thoughts about surgery

I am really starting to have 2nd thoughts about this surgery.I really don't have a lot of support here at home and I am really getting discouraged.I have been heavy allll my life and I am sooo tired yall. I am starting to believe maybe I should stay heavy just to be cared about.My boy friend is saying he might not be attracted to me after the WLS because he is attracted to heavy women. My friends are saying I might die and a shole lot of other negitive things like that. I NEED SUPPORT

Veronica, If you are happy where your at then don't have wls! The people who love you now will also love you after wls! Hopefully your boyfriend loves the person who you are on the inside! You have to go for what is in your heart! If you want wls BE Strong don't let others get in your way! You have to live with your body! You may not believe this but if your boyfriend doesn't love you as a normal size women well guess what there is other men out there! When I had wls surgery 2.5 yrs ago, I was at a time in my life to where I needed to do something for myself! I had a boyfriend, he didn't care one way or the other, he was not supportive. Getting my stuff together to have wls gave my mind something else to focus on besides him not loving me. We broke up before wls and got back after I got thin, it still didn't work! I am so glad I had wls with or without him! It was without! Now I see if a man makes fun of heavy women, I don't date him! I had many family members against wls, but I had to do it for myself! They do not have to live in my body! You have to get a wls Dr that you trust and believe in. Support groups do help before and after wls! Don't let others talk you out of wls! There are many people out there that if they had the insurance or $$ means they would die to have wls! Now do whats in your heart, be strong! Do research, if you can live with the way you are now then don't have wls! If you decide on wls DON"T listen to negativer people! Blow them off! You dont even have to discuss it! Skip the subject! Go have your surgery and let them all watch you being the shrinking women! You can do it! Put your mind to it and believe in yourself! Good Luck! See ya lighter! Cyndi -130lbs

Thank You sooo much for those kind words. I will stay strong.

Veronica I can understand your fears.. and boy lack of support at home can make it really tough... Your friends saying you might die.. I can't lie to you and say no you wont.. cause its a fear we all have when going into this surgery... I think for me my greatest fear was dying fat.. and believe me I would have.. My health was rapidly going south and I decided to have the sugery because I had to take that chance to be a healthier mom for my kids. As far as your boyfriend.... he'd rather you be fat miserable and unhealthy??? His fear isnt that he wont be attracted to you its that you wont be attracted to him when your weight comes off. Lets face it when we lose weight we have more confidence and men see that!!! When you fear death with this look at all the success stories here on the board... THOUSANDS of us did not die... we are living testaments that this surgery works ... Don't let anyone talk you out of it IF you want this surgery.. you either want to be fat the rest of your life or you don't... Tell your friends to educate themselves on this surgery.. give them the link to this website and to all those who have had surgery and are here today ALIVE and LIVING again!!! You have all of us for support, I hang out mostly on the Singles board but feel free to email me privately if you need too. Veronica what this all comes down too is this.. what do you want... not family, not boyfriend, not friends... How do you want to live the rest of your life.. because thats all that matters...follow your heart... Good luck with your decision Debby

yes, debby you are sooo right. I am going to have the surgery. I can not continue to live life at 380lbs. The reason I decided to have the surgery is because I need to be healthy and BE HAPPY . thank you debby so much

first of all merrry x-mas. i had surgery may of 2004 it was the best thing i've ever done for ME. this may not be for you. but for me sweetie i'll never go back i was 270 at my highest a size 24 now i'm 160 and a size 9-10 some 8 honey i'm having the time of my life yes its hard sometimes but i quickly remember where i was before and i get a reality check fast. please make sure it's your choice whatever YOU decide

Thanks Rushaun, You are a doll!

there is only one reason to have this surgery, and it is all only about you! Your health. If someone cares about you only for your size that is quite a message isn't it? I would like you to make a sign with a note to your self that you are a person of worth and value. Hang it on your bathroom mirror or someplace where you will see it every day. when you are feeling good about you and your worth, you will make the right decision for YOU.