Having a Fat Day

There are a lot of fat people, but not as fat as I used to be. As I sit here in my size 16 jeans I'm feeling just as fat as ever and maybe a little out of place. I love these jeans, I have other sixteens that fit, but not as well as these! Hand me downs are great, especially when they are broken in for you. Back to what I was saying. Before I was the fat girl, the fatest girl as a matter of fact, but I feel I've lost that... (what's the word *** status? I realize I am far from thin, but I am no longer THE fat girl, but rather A fat girl. It's weird, but I feel out of place when I realize that I am the same size as a lot of the people around me. I guess, before I used to hear girls the same size as I am now talk about how fat they were and how much they wanted to lose weight all the while thinking... wow I would give anything to just be your size. Well here I am and I'm still not satisfied. Right now I am at around 185, the scale keeps teetering... I think it's because I haven't had a period in a long time... and also because I've slipped into some old habits like eating quickly and snacking. That's a hundred pounds gone... like a giant weight was literally lifted from me. I want to be 135 or 145 at the most. Thats right 40 to 50 more pounds I want to lose. I've been careful with what I'm eating lately... not getting too much sugar or fat, getting in all my liquid. It's getting harder though because my metabolism has become acustom to the amount of food I'm eating and it's starting to level off. I haven't been exercising as much lately because I just haven't had the time... and I know it's a lame excuse, but it really is the truth. I called the nutritionist he said I'm doing fine and I just need to hang in there while my body adjusts. I don't want to hang in there though, I want this too bad. My goal, for now, is to lose 20 more pounds by the end of the year. I'm going to pick up the exercise and really watch the food. I guess we'll see how it works out. So time to put my work out clothes on... head to the gym... and kicking this fat days butt.

You know Brooke I think we all go through that fat day feeling, but I think its deeper, where we spent so many years identifying as "the fat kid" that now that we have lost that we mourn it in a way because that was who we were for so many years.. So now its a new era and we need to learn to identify as "the skinny girl" it takes time... The other "fat girl"

I can really relate to what you write! I resemble all your remarks. I also need to lose about another 50 lbs. I am limbo right now. But I am not giving up. I am going to go right now and put on my music and latin music and dance some cumbias for half an hour. I enjoy reading your insights.

Great insights girl and keep up the good work. Have a good week-end.