WELL I CANCELLED MY APPOINTMENT !

OK I MIGHT BE CRAZY OR I JUST WOKE UP! I have been having a really hard time with the idea of having open rny. I thought I was ready and I have been waiting so long. It has been 9 months and then the day before my appointment I call and cancel....Why because I can't do it. I look at my kids as they sleep and I cry for hours. How can take the risk of dying and them never seeing me again. Now please feel free not to flame me. I know I can die if I stay like this but my kids will not be ok if I die right now. My son has autisim and he would not understand. He will think I ran away and it was because I hate him(he says that everytime I leave the house without him) MY husband would not be able to take care of them alone. He would be soo overwhelmed. I thought I really wanted this but I just can't do it. I am using the money that I have for trip to springfield and getting a membership at a health club. and I am going to go mon tues thurs and frid while my kids are in class. I just found out my thyroid was not working so I am on medicine to fix that. I just know with the medicine and exercising and taking what I have learned here I can do.....I must do it. I can always start this over next year if my husbands new insurance will let me and I can pick the best dr not just the only one to accept public aid by me. I will still be lurking and posting in my profile hey maybe next year I will be in the century club without surgery. Well see

I'm not going to flame you. I think you're smart to cancel with the Public Aid doctor. You're very smart to do all your research and if you have any questions or bad feelings to just wait and do more research. God bless you. No flaming from me!! Scott Boggs, Collinsville, IL

thanks I agree too. This was the hardest thing for me to decide when i was so set on it. but I just can't do it.

Hey Scott I live in Collinsville too... Debby

No flaming from me either. You have to do what is best for you and if this is not the time and the place then that is what you have to do. Everything happens for a reason and you know what those reasons are. Good luck in your journey. It will not be an easy one but surgery is not easy either!! Best wishes, Nancy

I agree about everything happing for a reason. I just feel in my heart that if I did it I would not make it .I wish I was seeing me healthy from surgery, but it just seem like it wasen't going to be.

No flaming from me either. You HAVE to do what you think is right for you and your family. If this is not the right time, then that is OK. Perhaps the right time will come, perhaps it will not, but whatever happens you need to be comfortable with that decision. If you need anything while you are in springfield, feel free to contact me (or if you need anything any other time either!) Several of us from the boards are getting together in Chicago next weekend - perhaps some of the money you saved could be used on a little getaway?? Let me know if you want details, or if you just want to talk or anything Take care Patty

thanks so much and good luck with you also. I have nothing against the comp clinic it was just I am not ready! thanks for the support.

Perhaps you should consider seeing a therapist to explore what might be the underlying reason why you are afraid of surgery. It may be for deep-rooted reasons that are manifesting themselves as fear of death. For a long time I told myself I was afraid of surgery. I made excuses and told myself I could do it on my own. But I couldn't. So I learned why---and found the real reason why I was overweight in the first place. Thousands and thousands of people with severe co-morbidities have WLS without complications every year. The likelihood of death is very small. It's an irrational fear. Make an effort to discover the real reason why you are experiencing it and you will find the path that will be best for you. My best wishes to you.

I know what the underlying reason is I am scared I will die and my too small children will not understand or adjust. I know why I am fat and I know what the reasons were that got me here and that was the relationship with my father. being put in a childrens home and feeling unloved and not good enough. I have worked through that. I just don't feel I can take the chance while my son walks around thinking I am leaving and never comming home again because I hate him. I just feel the time is not right. I am younger and still have time and I will try yet again because I am on medicine for my thyroid and I will just see. ANd when the time comes I will reconsider. I am more open for lap RNy or lapband just not open RNy. thanks for your suggestion though .