Ladies Only...Must Read!!

Shelley S.
on 6/9/05 11:39 pm - Granite City, IL
I was sent this yesterday and thought you all would enjoy this one. Most of us can relate at one time or another. IF MY BODY WERE A CAR If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it. My fenders are too wide to be considered stylish. They were once as sleek as a little MG; now they look more like an old Buick. My seat cushions have split open at the seams. My seats are sagging. Seat belts? I gave up all belts when Krispy Cremes opened a shop in my neighborhood! Air bag's ?Forget it. The only bags I have these days are under my eyes. Not counting the saddlebags, of course. I have soooooo many miles on my odometer. Sure, I've been many places and seen many things, but when's the last time an appraiser factored life experiences against depreciation? My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather. My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently. But here's the worst of it - almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!
Nancy R.
on 6/10/05 2:52 am - Mokena, IL
Very cute, thank you for sharing!!!
Feedle E.
on 6/10/05 4:12 am - Chicagoland, IL
I just popped a gasket at my desk for laughing so damn hard!!
bek4901
on 6/10/05 9:08 am - grand ridge, IL
Really had a good laugh over this. So I've had my "engine" overhauled, but the body needs work! LOL, sounds like hubby's work truck. Hmmm, well he's had it about as long a he's had me, so I guess I'll just keep working on "it". Have a great weekend!! Bek
Most Active
Recent Topics
LET'S RESTART THE IL. SITE
scaryreader · 0 replies · 1267 views
Wednesday Roll Call
LisaTucker · 2 replies · 5765 views
Tuesday Roll Call
crystal M. · 2 replies · 5529 views
Sunday Roll Call
LisaTucker · 0 replies · 5514 views
Thursday Roll Call
LisaTucker · 2 replies · 5546 views
×