Hi All, well it over

Good Morning, Well, to much time on my hands to think. Last night I confronted my husband about where our marriage was heading. And needless to say, he is moving out tonight. He only stayed with me this long to get me through the surgery. I think he was planning on being here until I returned to work, but I just moved up the date by a month. Why prolong the inevitable? The sad thing is, I love him so!! We don't fight, always thought we had the perfect marriage. But I guess he fell out of love, if thats possible. I keep the saying in my head that "If you love something, set it free, If it comes back to you it was yours, if not, it never was." I don't think he'll come back, but I told him the door was still open and not to let pride get in his way of coming back and trying to make things work. I did get on my scales in the middle of the night. Kinda disappointing really. Only lost 3 lbs since surgery according to my scales. But I had lost 10 the week before on the liquid diet. I'm sure the intial weight lose is probably mostly water. Who knows, had my period this week too since surgery so I'm sure that didn't help. I'm trying really hard to keep my spirits and my attitude in a good place. It is definitely a challenge. Please keep me and my daughter in your prayers as we go through this difficult time. Thank all of you for all that you do. Kristi

Kristi, I am so sorry to hear what you are going thru. I think you are a very strong women and you will get thru this.... No offense, but he sounds like a creep. Sounds like you will be better off w/o him, give yourself some time to focus on YOU, When the weight starts to drop off and you feel so much better about your self, MR. RIGHT will come along, and sweep you off you feet!! Please know, that I am praying for you,You deserve the best!! NEVER settle ~ strive for PERFECTION!! You can do it........Take care and keep your head UP!! love and hugs, Julie

Thanks Julie I wish that i did think my husband was a creep. But he has always been there for me no matter what. I know that sounds stupid at this point. Up until 6 months ago I would never have imagined he would have ever done this to me. It is so out of character for him. He is a good ol southern boy from tx, who has strong morals and all that stuff. I'm sure after the hurt, there will be someone to replace him, and yes, you are right, I do deserve more than what he is able to give me at this time, he says the same thing. things happen for a reason, God will guide me in the right direction I'm sure. I'll be thinking of you, only a few more days and your new life will begin also Kristi

Hello Kristi, As a woman it is a heartfelt emotion to hear that you have to go through such pain and confusion as I am sure we have all experienced seperation at some point in time from someone that we love dearly. The only thing that I can say to you is that its good that he was there for you during the years that it seemed like you may have needed him the most, and I know that you as well as some others may feel that you need him now but what I mean by that is he was there for you when you were heavy and you didnt know about gastric bypass surgery, he was there supporting you with his presence as you said that it all came as a shocked to you. He was there when you discovered the gastric bypass treatment and you had to go through the decision process, if this was for you and the revelation that it was and how different your life would become once you had the surgery. And he was with you up until you had the surgery. I know you are wondering where im going with this and I will tell you this. You ever hear that saying that sometimes God put people in our lives when we need them the most and as time passes by and that need had become fulfilled that they drift away from you sometimes without reason or understanding and we are left wondering what happened? Well, we should always try to find a bright side to everything and sometimes although things in our lives may not feel as though we are in harmony with, are actually more in harmony with us than we think. It sounds to me like he was there through the bumpiest of times for you and now that you have made it this far you seem to have quite a sincere support group around you made up of men and mostly women who has gone through your current experience on one level or another even if it is just in your weight loss journey. You now have a team of individuals who are willing to be there and lend you the ear that you need, the advise that you seek for your weight loss process and who knows maybe in your relationship experience as well. This may be just you elevating into a better stronger you and who knows where and who your journey may lead you too. Now I'm not saying that we are a replacement for your husband but only that during this hard time for you, you do have positive things to look forward to for yourself and your future and you really arent as alone as you may feel and who knows, this site may lead you to a very dear friend that may become one of the biggest asset to your life. So try not to let it get you down for too long and remember that maybe his time in your life was just up and now heaven has appointed something or someone new for the Kristi that is about to emerge from her gastric bypass journey. To you I say God Bless You and may your heart and soul be filled with joy, revelations and happiness and remember that just because his side of the closet may be empty your life is full of us here wishing and praying for you to pass through a more positive and healthy life for both you and your daughter. Okay now I just wrote a book lol, I am aware of this so dont nobody say anything, and Kristi you keep your head up and dont walk your behind around with wet eyes because of this, you better dry em up before u have this 406 pound blk woman coming to hunt u down to dry em for you and stick around till either my surgery or you to cheer up and poke your chest out and say im okay now whats next. Peace and Blessings 2 U Bonechia C. Matlock [email protected] Make Change Before Changes Make You Make The Change ~Dr. Isa~

Hi Bonechia Well girl, you did it that for sure.. You made me cry, but not to worry, I dried em up. I'm sure there will be many more in the days to come. Thank you so much for your insight. I always new things happen for a reason, just that God hadn't shown it to me yet. What you say may very well be true. Maybe we sort of out grew one another. When I met him years ago, neither of us had anything, we were a couple of lost souls for sure. We built a wonderful life, have a beautiful daughter that neither of us ever expected, but it would seem that we have grown apart. I do believe we are still friends as I know he still cares about me and I him. I firmly believe he will always be somewhere around if I truly need him for help or something like that, or even if it just someone to talk to. I know he will stay close by for our daughters sake and he plans on still paying the bills around her for awhile yet. Thank you again for giving my yet another way to think about my situation. Kristi

KRISTI, I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND, BUT I KNOW IT IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE TO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND JUST REMEMBER THAT YOU HAVE JUST BEGUN YOUR NEW LIFE AND THERE ARE NEW THINGS TO HAPPEN. AND REMEMBER THINGS DO HAPPEN FOR A REASON. NANETTE

Kristi - I am sooo sorry for your loss. I will not pretend to understand how you are feeling, I have never been in your shoes. Just remember, you have a whole extra "family" on this board and we are here when you need us!! Nancy

Hi Kristi, I'm not sure what to say ... other than you and your daughter will be in my thoughts and prayers. Please remember we're all here for you should you need to vent or just need some friendly encouragement. Hugz, Cathy