My Whine - and it is long

I am trying to get approval for surgery. One of my prerequisites is that I follow a doctor and dietician supervised diet for six months. I am doing that. I am in my 4th month and I am going crazy. I really want to follow the diet and loose weight but I have never been able to do it before, why do they think I can do it this time? I am really loosing my mind right now. I sit with some very good friends on the train ride to work and they are really trying to help me out but each morning this week I have had something sweet to eat on the train. They try making comments but they know that I have never got this far into a diet in the past. I am not doing wonderful on the diet, I have only lost like 9 pounds in those 4 months. I am just really starting to loose it (my mind that is) and loose it fast. I only 2.5 months left of this and I do not want to ruin my chances of approval but I am going to loose it fast. Does the fact that I can not follow this for six months mean that I am doomed if I have surgery? In my mind there is a really big difference between wanting something that I should not have and not eating it because I am on a "diet" and wanting something I should not have and not eating it because I will get sick from it. Am I looking at this the wrong way? When I have that Easter treat and tell myself this is the last year I will be able to eat I deserve to eat it because I will never get to enjoy it again, am I wrong? Someone help and be honest!! Nancy

Don't be so hard on yourself. The reason we are having surgery is because we have not been successful dieting. It doesn't work for us. The word "diet" is what freaks people out. Think of it as an alternative food source. It's not a punishment for eating the wrong things. Try to stay clear of the sweets. Try something different. Telling yourself you will never be able to enjoy a treat is wrong. That makes you want it all the more. This Easter I will not be eating regular candy. I will be eating 1 or 2 pieces of sugar free candy. You will not be restricted on everything you eat. You will be able to eat sweets again, just sugar free sweets. There are some really good ones out there. Half of the problem is the fact that we feel like we are denying ourselves the gratification of great tasting foods. Emotion is what our eating habits have become. Try to refocus the emotions on something else. I am still working on that one. I hope I don't sound like a blow hard, I am working on all of these issues myself. Talk to a dietician or anyone else you need to get on the right track. DO IT FOR YOU!!! Michelle-sorry for being all over the place-I tend to let my mind run at will.

Nancy, I didn't have to go through a pre-surgical diet attempt but I can relate to the thought process surrounding it all. I had to change my perceptions about what this surgery would be for me and I think that's helped me, in the long run. I decided to stop thinking of it in terms of a "diet" -- this is, after all, a permanent, physical change to my body.. assigning that dreaded word, "diet," to it was just the first step towards mental failure for me.. Constantly, I catch myself saying, "oh I can't have that.." well.. Yes. I can. I can choose to have it .. knowing full well the consequences physically and emotionally of having something I know is really wrong for me.. or I can choose not to. Now I don't dump on sugar right away. In fact, it takes kind of a lot of sugar to make me dump so I had to alter that thinking again, post-op.. If I tell myself, "I can't have that," we all know that's what I'm going to want... so instead of putting it off limits.. I say to myself, "well I want that.. what's a serving?" And I'll look at the label of it.. and have A SERVING if I really want it or feel like it's worth putting into my body.. and I find that a single serving is often just enough.. I might WANT more (head hunger).. but I know that a serving is plenty.. so I'm re-learning appropriate intake instead of denying myself everything I want, all the time. There is still choice involved.. how much is it worth to me to put something nutritionally useless inside my body.. but at least I don't feel like I'm deprived. I hope that all made sense.. it's how I deal with it now and it seems to work pretty well.. and I still have a physical barrier to keep me from over-indulging in things.. Stef Lap RNY 11/12/04 390 -> 319 -> 175

Hi Nancy............just a thought. Your insurance is requiring that you follow a doctor's supervised diet for 6 months and you are trying to do that. The point of the exercise is to show that for YOU the doctor's supervised diet doesn't work. If it worked, why would you need the surgery? The doctor needs to be documenting that you have been unable to lose weight although you are following his supervision. (Of course you are not following it successfully.....how do they think we got the way we are? And NOBODY seems to want to take into account the fact that there are those of us who could follow it to the LETTER and still not lose weight.....it's a FACT.) Anyway, my dear, you only have a couple more months. Do your best, jump through their hoops, get your approval, have your surgery, and then welcome, welcome, welcome to the most wonderful new life. Don't keep beating yourself up. You're just as human as the rest of us, and a whole lot of us have made it. You will, too! Email me anytime. Go look at my profile. See how well my precious sister has done, as well as I. I'm down here in southern Illinois, but I'm here for you if you want my help......................Judy