Time to vent

Hello to all, Sorry it has been so long since I have been on here. I found out my wife has been having an affair with three different guys in the last two years and maybe even dating back to 1997. It really devastated me and I have been having a bad time dealing with it. I really thought that she was the one I would grow old with. Then she told me she didn't love me, but she wanted to work on it. I thought we were working on it and things kept getting worse with the way she was treating me. Even when I was in the hospital and recovering she was having an affair. I am so glad that I am not a violent person, because I have really been hurt by all this. Our 10 year old daughter wants nothing to do with her mom. She knows due to hearing us argue about it. There is no denying it I found over 300 pages of emails and pictures of what was happening and what days there were meeting. Now she has her Daddy paying for a great lawyer to get custody of the kids and my attorney says that she will most likly get it here in Illinois. Thank you, for letting me vent, I have been holding it in for to long. Larry 347/225/-122 in 6 months

Larry, Don't give up hope.. your 10 year old is only a year away from being able to decide who she wants to live with.. (I think, check the IL state statutes).. There are also resources for Father's Rights in the Midwest.. one of them is based in Madison and may be worth contacting for advice or direction. You have a right to be present in your kids' lives and a judge in Illinois may agree with you -- considering their mother's inability to live up to a commitment and have an appropriate relationship with her husband or get out of the marriage before screwing around.. You've got 300 pages of evidence.. that's got to be something.. Here's a list of things the courts may consider when granting custody of your children: http://public.findlaw.com/divorce/life_events/forms/le22_4_1.pdf (I know I know.. it's a link.. sue me.. this is important!!) You might also check out fathers-rights.com and the newsletter here: http://www.pace411.com/newsletter1.html (it's a different place). I think, Larry... you should treat this the way you treated preparing for your surgery.. learn as much as you can.. if you really want your kids to live with you.. then make it happen - the same way you made your surgery happen. Read. Learn. Know. Understand. Those are the most powerful weapons you have on your side.. use them. Good luck! Stef

Thanks for the advice. I was told that Illinois Judges do not listen to the kids and there is no statute for them to. That is why I am so worried, I was told by three attorneys that I can not introduce the emails for trying to get custody.

Larry I am so sorry to hear about this, I sent you an email privately. We are all here for you.. Debby

Thank you for the offer of friendship, I will take you up on it.

Larry, One word...Jeffrey M. Leving. Women hate him, in general, but its because he WINS. Dont get screwed twice!!!!

I wish I could afford to bring a lawyer down from Chicago. Thanks for the info

Larry, that is just horrible. I wish you all the luck in the world, and please don't give up hope. Terry

awww Larry I'm sooo sorry to hear this. This kind of stuff makes me SO angry. I will never understand why anyone feels the need to have an affair. If the marriage isnt working and you want to be with someone else??? GET OUT! don't drag your spouse along...they deserve to move on also!! How can your attorney assume that right off the bat?? I don't know any of the laws here in IL but in Ontario if the wife messes around like yours did and you have proof of this???...she would be considered unfit to take on the responsibilites of raising children and they would go to the husband...but thats Canadian law so who knows! I wish you all the best and hang in there hon...fight back!!! (((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))) Konni

DAMN!! Been there...I'm so sorry to hear that you have to go through that HELL! Stay Strong!