The 20 Rules Of Halloween
With Halloween upon us, it is worthwhile to remember a
fewsimple rules to help keep this season healthy, happy and SAFE! Please use these helpful hints this and every year!!
1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to
see if it's really dead.
2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
4. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone.
5. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
6. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would
apply to any other house of the dead as well.
7. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and
find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!
8. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short
circuits; just get out.
9. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
10. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good
reason for it. Don't stop and look around.
11. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you
know what you're doing.
12. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at
least twice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact that
you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still
moving fast enough to catch up with you.
13. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic
behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing
hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
14. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are
listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble
if you recognize this one), anywhere in Texas where chainsaws are sold, the
Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
15. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go
to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it
is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a tank,
shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be
eaten.
16. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws, staple
guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane
torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased
companions.
17. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the
time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had
previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible
fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices.
18. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an
old house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a
flashlight, not a candle.
19. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these
can flare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard.
20. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.
HAVE A SAFE AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! 
.I left my daughter with friends and went to a cematery to only almost pea my pants while trying to scare my friends 
,but it was fun... Most Active
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