My Dad after Surgery on Monday

My dad and I have never really been close or gotten along. Well, today I got a call on my answering machine from my brother to call my dad on his cell phone. I was afraid something had went wrong with his surgery (he had open GBS on Monday), so I called right away. The first words out of his mouth were: "Have I told you that I love you lately and I'm very proud of you" I was fairly surprised. I asked him how he was feeling and stuff... then I asked him if he could give me the money for my consultation and he said yes! He also said he would give me whatever money the insurance wouldn't cover for the surgery... this is great. I then asked him "They must have you on some good drugs huh?" He then said he was sorry that he hadn't made any effort to keep me in his life and that he was sorry that he hadn't tried to be in touch with me more... wow I was super shocked. He told me he had a new view on life and that he was different. He seemed different, but do you think a person can change that much in just one week?

Brooke, I believe someone can have regrets that quickly ... but truly change? I don't think so ... IMHO, you should get the money and run! But HEY ... that's ME talking from a missing father, also ... seriously, though, you should get while you can while he is in a giving mood ... AND before he disappears from your life again ... Nancy

Yeah I know what you mean... sometimes I tried so hard to start a good relationship with him. I'm going to use the money for sure and just hope and try taking him at face value. If things don't work out then I'll be prepared for that too.

Sounds like a good and healthy attitude, Brooke! Best of luck to you! Nancy

I guess I'll play devil's advocate here, why would you even ask him for money when you say you don't really ahve a relationship with him here? the money would create a relationship and probably NOT the one you are looking and hoping for. Do you want guilt money from this man? I would almost think it would be better to work on your relationship with him and try to have some time repairing the past before just asking for a handout or you'll always wonder if the money is the best or most he can truly offer you when it is obviously emotional support which would be more imprtant and better in the long run. money between relatives can mess up even a GREAT relationship and for a not so great one it can ruin everything and leave you with nothing but bad feelings. don't sell the possibility future of having a good relationship with your father for some money now even for the very best of causes (your surgery) that's just my opinion. Colleen

I understand what you are saying totally and I appreciate the advice. The thing is my Dad was supposed to be responsible for all my medical expenses when my parents divorced and he wasn't. I'm still paying for a hospital visit and paid on a gallbladder surgery for a long time. So since I'm broke anyway I'm going to take the money for this surgery, but only for this surgery because that was part of the deal that he broke awhile back. I wont take money for anything else because of what you said I dont want to feel like thats the only thing our relationship was based on. Thanks for making me think.